What's for dinner

www.primalmom.com

With Thanksgiving right in front of us followed by all the Christmas parties and Christmas, I really need to be watching what I eat.  I tried another Primal Mom recipe and my family LOVED it!   I did it a little differently than she does, simply because I hate cooking meat on my stove in a pan, so I tried baking our chicken and it was amazing!  You should try it too!  It is super easy and very fresh and delish!  You can also make each kid's plate right to their liking which is always great in this house!

PRIMAL MOM TOMATO MOZZARELLA SALAD

INGREDIENTS:

4 Chicken Breast

grape tomatoes (you will plate these and can use however many each person desires)

2 cucumbers or more if your family loves cucumber

1 Tablespoon Dried Basil

1 Tablespoon Dried Parsley

2 Tablespoons real Kerry Gold Butter

4 Cups Mixed Greens or more if you have a lot of rabbits at your table

1 Cup Pistachios

Mozzarella

Salt and Pepper

INSTRUCTIONS:

First step in baking the most delicious chicken is brining it.  Yep you heard me.  I always brine my chicken.  It is so easy too.  Just fill a large bowl with warm water and salt and let the salt dissolve.  Add your chicken and let it sit there for 15 minutes.  I have been known to put mine in the frigelator for 6 hours and it is unbelievable! 

Next cut the chicken breast in half.  Melt your butter in a bowl and add your basil and parsley and brush over your chicken.  You can then salt and pepper to your liking. 

Now I like to cook my chicken on high, but you do what your family prefers.  I preheat my oven to 450 degrees and cook those babies for about 18 minutes or until the chicken is fully cooked (160-170 degrees F).

While the chicken is cooking you can cut up your tomatoes, chop your cucumbers, and cut up your mozzarella into chunks.

When all is done you will evenly plate each plate with the greens.  Top each with the chicken, tomatoes, cucumbers, pistachios and cheese. 

And if your family is like mine, some will get greens, some will not.  Some will get tomatoes some will not.  Each plate you can build however you heart desires.  

Such a fresh and healthy meal that has something for ALMOST everyone!

Hope you enjoy! 

Tell me what you are eating that is healthy these days?  I would love to know!

xo,

Amy 

Option 3!

I had a dream last night and when I woke I could not remember ANY OF IT!  Has this ever happened to you?  It is so annoying!  Especially if you are like me and remember your dreams.  As I laid there trying desperately to go back to sleep, thoughts of my mom washed over me.  This happens from time to time.  I guess it is all part of the thing they call GRIEF.

The day my mom said she was not scared....

This night, for some reason, all I kept thinking of was one particular day when she was in the ICU at Presbyterian Hospital.  This particular day was haunting me.  LITERALLY.   My heart started racing, I tried my breathing techniques I had learned from lots of different sources, and nothing was working.  I decided I had a few choices:

1. I could get up and read or watch a TV show

2. I could keep breathing in and out like I was, but I was getting dizzy!

3. I could just really go back to that day and let whatever it was that was bothering me work itself out. 

I chose option 3.  If there is one thing I have learned from the grief from the loss of my mom, it is that you cannot control it.  You cannot bury it, you cannot swipe it under a rug, you cannot put your head in the sand like an ostrich.  It will not let you!  Trust me.  You might think you are running from it, but the rest of the world sees you and it is there.  So I have learned somedays or nights you just got to roll around in it and get dirty!

As I laid there I really focused on that day that was coming to mind.  I could see the two of us in her ICU room.  She was sitting up which was a huge success and we were talking.  I remember her saying, "I think I am dying Amy."  Very calmly and very matter of fact.  I didn't know what to do with that I remember.  I recall saying, "Are you scared?" She calmly said, "No, everyone has to do it sometime."  

It was all very surreal.  We did not say much more, but I remember holding her hand and just looking into her BEAUTIFUL blue eyes willing her not to die.  Have I ever told you she had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen?  I miss those eyes. 

Thinking back on it that day I wish I would have said more.  I wish I would have asked her more.  She was such a spiritual person and so close to God that I wish I would have pushed more on why she thought she was dying, why she was not worried, or what would she miss the most.  Maybe if I had I would not be so worried about her.  I don't know.

Dying is a scary and uncomfortable thing to talk about.   ESPECIALLY with your mom while she is recovering in ICU.  I feel like I was not finished with that conversation with my mom.  I feel like maybe she came to me in my dream and forced me to deal with that day.  I don't know.  I somehow fell back to sleep because the next thing I remember is my alarm going off.  I think my mom came to me that night and sat with me until I finished our conversation in my own head and came to some kind of peace that she was ok.  

I am still so sad about losing my mom and I still find myself really wondering if she can hear me and see me when I am struggling.  What I am learning through all this though is you have to choose option 3.  You have to face it dead on (for lack of a better word) and look it square in the eyes and deal with it.  Then and only then can you live your life to its fullest and I know that is what my mom would want for me and I am sure that is what your loved one would want too.

Won't you choose option 3 and Choose life along with me?

xo,

Amy

Faith of Bee-rad and G money

Have you ever heard the quote "faith like a child"?  I have numerous times and last night Graeme Berry displayed faith that I only wish I could have an ounce of!  His faith was so innocent, so real, and so big that my heart burst with love and joy watching him speak. 

A LITTLE BIT OF HISTORY

We have a neighbor, Brad, who was an olympic hopeful back in his day.  Long story short,  Brad was in a car wreck on the way to the olympic trials and basically died but was revived.  He sustained a major head injury and was in a coma for a month if my memory serves me right.  Brad went from being a Prince grad, aspiring surgeon, and a US olympic hopeful to a hospital bed with years of physical therapy.  Brad would tell you that today he is 30 which he is not.  He is probably in his mid 50's, but he likes to think that when that happened, he got a second chance.  He cannot drive a car so he rides his bike everywhere and I think he has been hit by a car 9 times!  And he giggles about it and just keeps on keeping on!  He is such an inspiration in the Berry House.  He is on fire for God and we always talk about how angry we would be if our lives were turned upside down like his was, but not Brad.  He is grateful! 

Graeme LOVES Bee-RAD,  this is the nickname my husband gave him.  Anytime Bee-RAD is here, Graeme is right by his side and asking questions and hanging on to every word Bee-RAD says.  I see it all the time, but just the other night it became very evident.

I was really tired and missing my mom one night and decided to lose myself in a TV show and I chose Chicago fire. I was watching the show and Graeme walked in and I did not notice because I was so into it.  (Another mom fail on my part!  Told you these happen all the time here!)  Anyways.....there was a man about to jump off of a building and take his own life.  The firefighters basically save his life and a commercial comes on. 

I turn to hear Graeme saying, "Mom, that would of been really bad."  I was like, "Um, yes....Very Bad....he would of died and then the people that loved him most would be so sad."  Graeme looked at me so calmly and said, "Not if Jesus woke him up when he died."  I was very perplexed and said, "Graeme, that does not happen."  He shook his head and looked at me square in the eyes and said, "Yes it does mom, it happened to Bee-RAD.  Jesus was not done with him on this earth and he woke him from the dead and the only reason he did not wake up Grandma was she did what he needed her to do here, so he brought her to Heaven."  

WOW! WOW! WOW!

I really was speechless and for those of you who know me that NEVER happens!  I hugged Graeme tight and with tears in my eyes just said, "Thank you Graeme.  Thank you for reminding me that anything is possible with God".  

I really wish I had the same simple innocent Faith as my little man/child has.  I know I don't, but his little heart is so full of faith.  When do we lose that innocence and strong belief in anything is possible?  I guess when the world gets a hold of us.  This is a broken world after all.  Bad things happen daily and to good people.   I guess all we can really do is try really hard to get back to the faith of a child or the faith of someone like Bee-RAD  and see the world through their eyes and heart.  Maybe then we can live in peace knowing that sometimes bad things that happen in our lives that put us directly on a path to some of the best things and times that will ever happen to us.  We just have to have a little faith....

xo,

Amy  

B Stellar and Be You!

Our model Stephanie!!  Is she not the cutest! You can find her at

www.krusingthroughthekhaos.com  

So fun watching them work and playing dress up!

Starbucks and earrings!  Yes please!  Earrings at www.bstellar.co

I honestly had not planned on blogging today, but after the amazing day I had yesterday, well, I just had too!  Yesterday, I got to play with Jewelry and dress a model and help a photographer!  As a boy mom, I promise you this is a day in paradise for me!  A day away from stinky soccer shoes, stinky dance shoes, and stinky six year old boy clothes!  AHHHHHH HEAVEN!  I AM IN HEAVEN!!!!!

My extremely talented and gorgeous niece has a jewelry line that I asked my adorable friend Stephanie to model for and blog about. (you can find her blog at www.krusingthroughthekhaos.com)  Yall it was so much fun that I just have to share it with you now!  

Meet my niece Misty!

First, I would like to brag about my niece.  Her name is Misty and she is an artist.  She paints, she draws, she is a mom and a wife and she is so talented.  She draws most of her inspiration from nature, however, she gets ideas daily from everything around her.  She has an amazing eye and everything she does is "line driven".  I honestly have ZERO idea what that means, however if you are an artist I am sure you do.  All I know is I LOVE HER STUFF! I think you will too!    

I played dress up too!  LOVE THESE EARRINGS!

www.bstellar.co

The name of her company is B.Stellar and she pretty much came up with the idea because her maiden name is Misty Burns.  The B is for Burns, and Stellar, well....the definition of Stellar is:

Exceptionally good, outstanding, marvelous, superb!

So BAM!  B.Stellar-it is her call to action for "Be"....Be something EXCEPTIONAL!  

Penny Lane!  Love this three chain necklace!  Called the Penny lane because the hand is holding a compass...meaning behind it...a girl does not know who she is until she finds her way holding a compass

www.bstellar.co

I love that she is empowering people subliminally through her jewelry!  So cool!  Only an Artist could do that!  And an even cooler fact is all the pieces are named after women of influence, women she knows, or women in art.  There are some men's Artist names that she uses as well, but only if they stand out to her.  

Is she not the cutest?!  Necklace and Earrings B.Stellar

www.bstellar.co

Our amazing photographer Lorena 

www.helloellegee.com

Her Jewelry really is amazing!   If you like what you see, just go to her website at www.bstellar.co and use AMYBERRY as your code and you will get free shipping!  Perfect timing for the holidays!  

This is a one of a kind so if you like it message me and I will get a price for you.  Just think....you could be the only one in the world with this beauty!

Happy Shopping!

xo,

Amy

Ju Ju's Taco Soup

It's Fall Baby!  Time for the leaves to fall, the weather to change, and time for SOUP!  I love me some soup y'all!  And Ju Ju's taco soup is just the thing I needed to welcome in brisk cool air of fall!  I love it!!!!! I think you will too!  Give it a whirl and let me know your thoughts!  I bet it makes you Happy!

Ju Ju's Taco Soup

Ingredients:

1 Lb Ground beef,  Olive Oil, Onion, garlic, 2 cans ranch style pinto beans (my family prefers one with Jalapeños  and one without) 1 can corn, 1 can chopped green chilies, 1 package of ranch dressing, 1 package of taco seasoning mix, 1 can of stewed tomatoes or 2 can’s of rotel. If you do 1 can of stewed tomatoes then use 1 can of rotel (I prefer the one with lime in it) and we prefer 2 cans of rotel because the tomatoes are chopped up better. 1 can of water and 1 beer of choice (and no it is not to drink!). Pepper and Lawrys season salt.

Place 1 tablespoon of Olive Oil in a big pot, Throw in one chopped onion and as much chopped garlic as your family would like.  Let those soften a little then throw your ground beef in and brown. Next dump every can in and do not drain.  Throw in your seasoning packets and as much salt and pepper as your family would like for taste.  Add your beer of choice and one extra can of water and let it simmer.

When you go to serve garnish with Shredded Cheese, jalapeños, sour cream, and chives and serve it up with a nice slice of cornbread!  Oh so Good!  

What kind of soup do you like?  I would love to know!

xo,

Amy

Not the First and Not the Last

I don't know about you, but I find myself making mistakes daily.  Some days are just a series of tiny mistakes that really amount to nothing, but every once in a while I make a BIG MISTAKE.  When the mistake involves my kids I feel awful.  I call these moments MOM FAILS.  Every time it happens I find myself apologizing and feeling really lousy about myself.  Has this every happened to you?  If so, you are not alone.

Last Saturday, while Trey was away with our youngest, Graeme, I asked the bigs for a date night with me.  WELL THAT WENT OVER LIKE A PARTY!  NOT!  So we compromised and they agreed to go to Church with me before they went on their merry teenage ways.  I was soooooo Happy!

This particular Saturday, our church was wrapping up its series on giving.  When the service was coming to an end, our Pastor Paul, asked the choir to sing one last song before the benediction and asked the congregation to consider their gifts to the church for the next year.   I looked over at Will and he was reaching in his pocket!  I was mortified!  Was he seriously reaching for his PHONE?

I leaned over and quietly whispered, "Please tell me you are not reaching for your phone..."  With a look of disappointment, he shook his head and pulled out his billfold and put $5 of his own money and a card in the offering.  The look in his eyes was pure sadness as he laid his money and the card in the plate.  It crushed my heart.  I had totally doubted him! REALLY DOUBTED HIM.  WHY?  Because he is a teenager?  Because they all live with their phones attached at their ear and fingers?  Because I had not stopped to see before I spoke?  Maybe all of the above but the real point is I had not given my son the benefit of the doubt.

When the service ended and we began to walk to the car I began asking for forgiveness as fast as I could.  I was crushed, Will was crushed, it was just bad.  Will had two tears roll out of his left eye and calmly asked, "Why do you always doubt me?  Why do you always assume the worst of me?"

This was like an arrow to my heart.  He was right though.  I doubted him and I assumed the worst.  I sat in the car quietly for a moment then I turned to him and said, "Son you are right.  I do.  I am so sorry!  You are so right though.  I promise to try harder and not doubt you.  You are a great kid!  I am so sorry."  He pushed me harder on why and I told him I was not really sure. 

I do this with my boys quite often I must confess.  They are both good boys and for some reason I ALWAYS assume the worst.  Maybe it is because I know how difficult I was growing up.  Maybe it is because I live in fear of them going down the wrong path.  Maybe it is because I listen to so many stories of teenagers...I don't know what the reason is, but I do doubt them EVEN BEFORE THEY GIVE ME REASON TO DOUBT THEM.

FEAR 

It is all fear driven.  I know this.  And I know what the solution is!  GOD!  Put them in God's hands.  Hand them over.  Ask him to protect and guide them.  This is so hard!  But it is the only way.  

GIVING IT TO GOD

I promised Will and JP that day, that moment, in our church parking lot, that until they gave me reason to doubt, I would trust them.  I told them I would try harder and put my fears and doubts in God's hands and let him guide them.  I promised that I would ask God daily to let them be a light to others and a leader. 

As we were pulling out and heading home I asked Will what the card was that he had put in the offering.  He began to tell me a story about a man who helps the homeless that he had lunch with at Whataburger! The man gave him the card of his ministry and Will prayed over it then put it in our church offering in hopes that our Church would pray over it as well.  Talk about a moment of mixed emotions!  Pride and disappointment in myself as a mom.  How could I doubt such a beautiful young man?  How could I be raising such a beautiful young man?  Well folks, I did and I am .  I am sure this will not be my last time for a mom fail...but I promise I will work harder at giving these doubts and fears up to God.  What are you giving up to God these days?

xo,

Amy

Stumbling in the Darkness

Do you ever find yourself stumbling in the darkness?  I don't mean in the "literal sense", I mean in the "figurative sense".  I know I do and I do quite often.  Usually I can find my way out of the darkness, but there have been two times in my life where finding my way out was like digging through concrete.  

The first time was when I lost our baby and the second time was when I lost my mom. 

Both times I took to my bed and pulled back the covers and drowned out the world with tears and moaning.  Both times I was ANGRY WITH GOD and ANGRY WITH ANYONE WHO TRIED TO HELP.  The pain I felt was crushing.  I cannot even begin to describe it. It was weird, because both times with this pain I felt guilt. Guilt of could I have done more?  Should I have done something differently?  AND GUILT FOR BEING ANGRY WITH GOD.  But, I was!  And it was what it was.

When I look back to those dark, dark, days, I see I was blinded.

Blinded by pain.  Blinded by loss. Blinded by anger.  Blinded by sadness.

I was in the dark. It was not until I opened up my heart and  mind to the Holy Spirit that I was able to see beyond my suffering to the glory of God.  This was not easy either!   It took me literally forcing myself to open this daily devotional I bought.  It did not happen overnight either.  It was a slow painful process, but one I am happy to say brought me to where I am today.  I still have a lot of room for growth, but I am happy to say I have at least opened my eyes to Hope.  Ironically enough,  the book's name is Hope!  

HOPE IN JESUS

Some days this hope just lies in getting through the next 30 minutes and somedays this hope just lies peacefully in my heart.  But I have HOPE!  And I do still stumble in the dark, but I hold onto Jesus and I hold onto hope!

Do you ever find yourself stumbling in the dark?  If you do, I promise Jesus is there!  He is reaching out his hand ready to touch you and take hold of you and your heart and transform your life.  Will you let him in?

xo,

Amy

The One Year Book of Hope (One Year Books)

By Nancy Guthrie

Buy on Amazon

 

Gramzee's Chili

Don't you just love the fall?  I do!  The leaves begin to change, the air is crisp, and football season is in high gear.  Whenever I think of football and fall I think of frito pie!  Boy do I love me some frito pie! Especially when the recipe involves my Mother in Laws Chili!  You guys, this Chili is so good and so easy to make!  I changed it just a tad bit in that instead of water I add a can of beer, but you can do whatever is best for your family.  Over here we like the beer!  (Ha, I am a poet and I did not even know it!)

GRAMZEE'S CHILI

Ingredients:

3 Tablespoons Oil (I use olive oil)

1 Cup of Chopped onions

1 clove of garlic (I use crushed garlic and a ton)

1lb ground beef

1 can diced tomatoes

1 can ranch style beans (we like the can with jalapenos)

1 can of water (we use beer here)

1 teaspoon paprika

2 Tablespoons chili powder

Instructions:

In a large pot saute your garlic and onion in your oil.  When onions are transparent add your ground beef and brown.  Once cooked throw in your tomatoes, ranch style beans, water (or beer), paprika, and chili powder.  Let simmer until ready to serve.

FRITO PIE:

If in the mood for the frito pie you will need the following:

fritos

shredded cheese

onions

jalapenos

In a bowl place your chili and top with any and all of the above.  I promise you will LOVE it!  This is so good and so easy to make! 

I made this Halloween night for 32 plus people (I tripled the recipe) and it was easy and everyone really enjoyed it!  I hope you do too!  Let me know what some of your fall favorites are for feeding a crowd!  I would love to know!

xo,

Amy

Life with Dad

If someone would have told me 10 years ago that when my mom died my sister and I would be sharing the responsibility of taking care of my father I probably would of laughed in their face.  My father was and still is one of the most independent, strongest, men I know.  However, life has taken a toll on his memory and he cannot live alone.  

A LITTLE BIT OF HISTORY.....

My father was in a serious car wreck when I was a little girl.  He basically went through the windshield of his car going 70 mph.  He was conscious until the paramedics arrived and he told them EXACTLY where he was headed and who he was going to see and then slipped into a coma.  He had something like 8 surgeries and once he healed he went on with life happy and healthy, UNTIL probably around 2008 when my siblings and I noticed some changes.  Not really memory changes, but more like he was not involved in the conversations and decisions with our family business and other things. Slowly the memory issues started creeping in and when he got lost one time going to get my nephew we knew it is time to intervene.

VERY LONG STORY SHORT...

My father was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment.  Honestly I think it is just a catch phrase for physicians now a days because people are living longer and they are seeing astronomical numbers of patients with the same condition.  They use to call it Alzheimers if I understand the history correctly until they realized you really cannot diagnose Alzheimers until the patient is dead.  Yep you heard me....Dead!  Then they called it Dementia,  which basically is a huge Umbrella of memory issues and now I feel like the new term for beginning phases of Dementia and Alzheimer's is Mild Cognitive Impairment.  And let me be clear, this is the Amy Berry Understanding of Memory issues in the elderly, because honestly, I don't think they know!  This is all new territory because more people are living ALOT LONGER  and the brain is an AMAZING thing!  But, the more I talk about my father with friends and hear their stories about their parents or grandparents I see that we are all in this boat paddling like crazy and not really getting anywhere with answers or solutions!

OUR SOLUTION FOR NOW...

When mom died, my sister Robin and I decided we would take care of Dad together.  We knew he could not live alone and we also knew he would NEVER allow a nurse or babysitter in his own home, and the idea of any kind of assisted living, well that just shuts him down.  So for now our set up is, I get Dad Monday through Friday, anywhere between 11 and 1, and keep him until around 6:00 at night where he then goes to my sisters.  Our baby brother Paul helps when he can on the weekends and we are all a team.  It is not easy and at times it gets tense but it is what we are doing.  It is what works for us for now.

 NO IT IS NOT EASY, BUT IT IS A BLESSING...

People give me a hard time because we don't discuss other options, but it is so hard to think about other options.  I just lost one parent and I don't want my father to feel like we don't care.  Every family is different and every family has to work to find what works for them.  This works for us for now.  If you only knew how many fights and battles we had when mom was alive trying to get them to move into assisted living or to Dallas to be near us.  It was awful!  Now my father has lost the love of his life, he has basically moved to Dallas, away from his home of 49 years, his friends and church,  and people want us to put him in assisted living.   I just can't right now.  Right or wrong, I can't!  And I know there are many other people out there dealing with this as well.  I hear stories almost every day.  I wish I had an answer, I wish I had a solution, but I don't.  So I am hoping through my blog I will meet other people in my shoes who we can bounce ideas off of each other, offer each other solutions, and hope,  all the while loving on our parents to where they don't live in constant fear of losing their independence and everything they have ever known.  There has got to be a way and I think we can pave the way together.  So if you too are in a situation like me where you are taking care of your parents tell me what you do to make life beautiful for all?  I would love to hear. 

xo,

Amy 

 

Thankful for November - Goals for the Month

It's November 3rd and the busiest yet most wonderful time of the year is right around the corner! The parties will start, the shopping for the best gift, the Charlie Brown movies, the amazing meals,  and the Christmas decorating will all begin.   Just thinking about it all makes me excited, tired, and stressed.  I hate that last feeling and I know you do too! 

November Goals...

I really want to TRY to implement a plan to help my family and I enjoy this time more.  This is such a special time, a time to reflect and be thankful and boy do The Berry's have a lot to be thankful for.  So I decided to sit down and write out goals for us.  I would love to hear any of your ideas and goals that you implement to help bring back sanity to this crazy time of year too!  Here are mine:

1. Special Night Out with the Hubs (Alone) at least three times this month.

  As a mom, I get so caught up in all of our kids activities and sometimes Trey gets lost in the shuffle.  That is just not healthy.  I know this, so I am going to try really hard to put Trey at the front of the list and have 3 special nights alone this month.  I bet we will see miracles happen in our marriage just by doing this!  I mean let's face it, when these kiddos graduate he and I are it, so why not start dating again and get back to the basics!

2. Pray more for others; make a "Hit List"

My sweet mom use to LITERALLY pray for people EVERYDAY!  She had what she called her "Hit List".  It was a pad and she sat in her chair daily praying over her list.  Now that she is gone, I have decided to pick up where she left off.  Again, I bet Miracles will begin to happen daily!  I dare you to try this too!

3. Write one hand-written thank you note a week and mail it.

Cutest note cards and invites ever from my sister in law, Erin!  Stop by her store in etsy and tell her Worthy Heart sent you!

What happened to snail mail?  It is GONE!  Who does not love to receive a handwritten, heartfelt note, in the mail!  I know I do!  So since November is the month of Thanksgiving I am going to write a minimum of ONE handwritten note a week!  Want to join me in this endeavor and bring some joy to someones life. I will even share with you my source!  She is amazing!  Stop by Erin Shelby's Etsy Shop and see these beautiful notecards for yourself!

 

4. Start Christmas Shopping and finish 95% of it by November 30

Who wants to join the rest of the world in the rat race of shopping in December?  Not me!  So I am going to challenge myself to get this wrapped up (no pun intended) by the beginning of December so when the OOPS I forgot this person's gift arises I am not stressed to the max!

Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions For Kids

By Sarah Young

Buy on Amazon

5. Daily Family Devotional

Our life is JUST CRAZY with three boys ranging in age from 6 to 15 so with all the different activities, somedays, the boys don't even see each other!  This November I am going to try to implement a plan each day on a daily devotional.  I realize I will have to be on top of the calendar as some days the devotional will have to be in the morning and others at the dinner table, but I am determined to make this happen.  30 days!  That is all!  I think anyone can do that for 30 days and who knows what God will do to bless this!  I can't wait to see!

There you have it!  Amy's November Goal's for herself and her family!  What are you guys going to do this month to kick off this crazy season and try to stay sane?  Share with me!  I would love to hear!  After all we are all in this together and I am so thankful for that!  

xo, Amy

What can we Whip up this Wednesday?

Halloween is behind us and the crash from all the sugar is upon us!  Lord help me!  If you are like me, today you are exhausted and just want something easy and healthy for dinner.  Something   that will not create a lot of mess in the kitchen and fuss amongst the multiple taste buds in your house... I HAVE IT!  I can share with you what we do in my house, because we have just that!  Multiple tastebuds to please:  Some who love this and some who love that!  So I need a dish that can be versatile and make everyone happy AND be SUPER DUPER easy for my tired body.

I got this dish from Six Sisters Stuff and it will not disappoint!  It is DELISH!  

www.sixsistersstuff.com

INGREDIENTS:  

2 LBS of flank steak, 1 teaspoon minced garlic ( I used crushed garlic) , 1/4 cup soy sauce (I used coconut aminos because I don't like soy sauce), 1/4 cup olive oil, 1/4 teaspoon cumin, 1/4 teaspoon chili powder, 2 Tablespoons lime juice, 2 cups COOKED rice (we do white in our family but I am sure brown is great too) 4 cups chopped romaine lettuce, 2 cups pico de gallo, 1 (15 ounce) can black beans, 1 cup guacamole (central market's is amazing)  1 cup shredded cheddar cheese, 1/2 bunch chopped cilantro for topping

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Slice steak into 1/4 inch strips

2. In a resealable gallon-ziplock bag, combine steak, garlic, soy sauce, olive oil, cumin, chili powder, and lime juice.  Marinade in the frigelator for at least 1 hour (it taste better the longer it marinates). 

3. Remove steak from the marinade and pan fry over medium heat until it is cooked all the way through.

4. evenly distribute the cooked steak, rice, romaine lettuce, pico, black beans, guacamole, and shredded cheese.  

5. Top with cilantro and lime juice                                                                 

MAKES 4 BOWLS.  IF YOU ARE LIKE ME AND ARE FEEDING HUNGRY BOYS I DOUBLE THIS RECIPE!  SO GOOD

ALTERNATE WAY TO COOK STEAK IF DO NOT LIKE DOING IN A FRYING PAN:

 I hate the way I smell after I fry anything.....I have found an alternate way to cook the steak that I personally love!

For this you will need a cast iron skillet and do not cut the steak before you marinate it.  

preheat oven to 450.  Once at 450 put your pan empty in the oven for 30 minutes.  Once the pan is nice and hot place your marinated meat in the pan and put back in the oven for 5 minutes flip it and cook for 3-4 minutes or to your liking.  We like our meat medium rare so I usually do 4 minutes. Slice your meat into thin slices and follow the rest of the recipe.

And if your house is like mine you can make each bowl to each hearts desire.  For instance, my man/boy only likes beans, rice, meat and cheese.....so that is how he gets his....and everyone is happy!

Enjoy!

What are you cooking these days that is super easy during these busy times?  I would love to know! 

xo,

Amy

My Latest Book Reviews: October Book Club

I started October off with a book that I actually picked up in August to read on my cruise and boy am I glad I did not!  The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware...This is a story about a young lady that takes a cruise for work and realizes the gal in the cabin next door has gone missing.  From that moment on this book takes a lot of twist and turns.  While I enjoyed reading this book, towards the end I did find it to be a little ridiculous. With that being said, I finished it and glad I did because the truth is I really enjoyed it until about 3/4 of the way through.  Then I got a little bored because the story got a little wacky for me and unbelievable.  I would still suggest this book because I did enjoy taking this eerie cruise with the main Character Lo out in the deep, blue, waters and you may too!

The Woman in Cabin 10

By Ruth Ware

Buy on Amazon

After being somewhat disappointed by my first choice, I decided to choose a book I thought would be a feel good easy read.  Man did I pick it!  The Blue Bistro by Elin Hilderbrand.  If you have ever read and of Hilderbrand's book you will know that they all take place in Nantucket and for the most part she never disappoints.  Sometimes her books get a little long for me, but this one was fantastic!  I could not put it down!  Every time I opened my book I found myself hungry for food and hungry for more of the story.  The story takes place, like all of her books, in Nantucket, at the hottest restaurant in town.  The main Character Adrienne has just moved there and finds herself working in the restaurant business for the first time in her life, but it was not a far stretch as she has been in hotel management most of her adult life.  As the story unfolds you learn the restaurant is in it's final season and the mystery of why begins to unfold.  Of course there is a little love story on the side with many other little side stories.  This book is a must read if you are looking for an easy book with a beautiful story of love on many different levels.  

The Blue Bistro: A Novel

By Elin Hilderbrand

Buy on Amazon

I decided for my last book to go with The Story Teller by Jodi Picoult.  This book was so good, but, of course all of her books are. I love how they all make you think and challenge you as a reader and this one did just that. It challenged me to learn more about the Holocaust as the story takes place in the present, but in the past as well during the Holocaust. The main character Sage has been asked by her new friend to help him die and the twist and turns that come from that one request alone are worth running out to get this book and diving in!  At times this book was so hard for me to read because it would literally make my heart ache and my stomach hurt.  I would have to put it down to take a moment because if you have ever read Jodi Picoult you know how beautifully she writes that your truly feel your characters.  I will say it is hard to figure out at first and you really have to concentrate, but it is so worth it!  If you like learning about the past with a amazing fictional story, this is the book for you!  I highly recommend it.  

The Storyteller

By Jodi Picoult

Buy on Amazon

Through this journey with my blog, I have discovered the joy of reading again and with that I have decided to read more to my littlest one.  So each month I hope to share with you a children's book he and I are reading together and this month we chose The Dot by Peter Reynolds.  It is a beautiful story about how we all have a creative spirit inside of us....and all it takes is one dot to bring it out.  When I explained the story to Graeme he said to me, "kind of like your blog mommy."  Out of the mouths of babes.  If you have little ones at home this is a neat book and I know they will enjoy it and you will to!

The Dot

By Peter H. Reynolds

Buy on Amazon

xo,

Amy

Amazon Block

Oh no You Didn't!

Do you ever feel like where did I go wrong?  How do people do this?    Dear God, PLEASE HELP ME!  I AM A FAILURE AS A PARENT!

 It does not matter what stage you are in with this thing called parenting and  honestly  I don't think it matters what book you read on the subject matter- I still say it is ONE BIG FAT EXPERIMENT!  

I mean come on--EVERY kid is different and EVERY kid thinks differently or reacts differently!  So yes, while these books give us direction the truth is it is STILL AN EXPERIMENT!

ITS KIND OF LIKE MEDICINE REALLY--The way I see it with medicine, every case is different, every body is different, every cell is different, and that is how our kids are!  DIFFERENT!  So I have decided, due to a "CERTAIN" situation, I will do an experiment.  Maybe just maybe,  my little experiment will help someone else in my shoes navigate this thing called...

A TEENAGER!

It's a scary thing I tell ya!  A Teenager!  Somedays they are so kind and loving and other days you are like who is this creature!?  And you find yourself thinking, "Oh No You Didn't!?"

So for this experiment here is your background:

I get up every morning at 5:45 for my Quiet Time (I will call this QT).  I pray over my family, our day, my friends, etc. etc... by 6:20 am I start waking the boys and I usually start with our Soccer Player.   At least twice a week right now we have to be out the door by 6:40 to get to his Physical Therapy for his ankle.  I drop him at PT and if my husband is on the road I run back home (this is what I did this particular morning).  I get the other two boy's up and going and get them to school and yep I head back to PT to pick up Will.  As we are leaving therapy I gently ask Will if he has gotten his note for school since we will be late?  The emotion that erupts from him on this one question is UNBELIEVABLE at best,  his language is colorful and he let's me know that as far as he is concerned I know nothing....

Enter Tawanda!  (remember her? my alter ego)

Oh NO he Didn't!  

But unfortunately, Oh Yes he did!   When I get to a safe reasonable area to  pull over and look him in the eyes and calmly say, "Will, I am your cook. Your uber driver. Your laundry mat! Your coach!  your cheerleader! AND much, much, more, but I am most importantly your mother!  You don't ever talk to me like this again and until you can appreciate me you are on your own!  You are on your own with your meals!  Your laundry!  Your rides!  Your recruitment coaches! Your school!  Your jobs!  YOU name it....you are on your own! Once I get you to school you are on your own!"  Not another word was spoken- When we got to the school... AGAIN he surprised me!  He got out of the car without saying a word and slammed the door!

BIG MISTAKE!

This is where my heart crumbled and I knew what I had to do-I had to follow through and nip this behavior in the bud.  This is not the boy I raised.  Where have I gone wrong?  What should I do?

It hit me!  Blog about it!  Blog about my follow through and how it felt, so on days in the future when something like this happens again with Will or one of the other two boys I have something to remind me it will be ok.   And guess what?  So will you my friend!   

Teenagers are hard, but so were toddlers, and all the other stages-It is just a different kind of hard!  We are all in this together and together if we share our stories and our mistakes even, maybe we can raise Strong, Confident, Kind, Loving, Respectful, God fearing human beings.  This is what I want for my kids and I am sure it is what you want for yours.  So  yes, discipline and follow through are hard, but together we can do it! 

Fast Forward to the very next day,  because my son was too smart to ask for any assistance the same day, however, he did think I would forget and soften within 24 hours.  WRONG!  He asked for a ride to work.  I looked at him calmly and without any emotion simply said, "you are own your own buddy...remember?"  Tears welled up into his eyes and I had to turn and walk away as they did in mine too and my heart was yet again crushed.  I knew I had to do it though.  I knew he would be late for work, but that was a consequence-

Consequence-a result or effect of an action or condition

Something these kids need to learn.  Will went through the rest of the weekend without asking me for anything, it was strange, and we were distant, but he was thinking and I was praying.  By Sunday night, he was asking for forgiveness and telling me how much he appreciates me and realizes how much I do.  I accepted his forgiveness of course and gave him the biggest hug and so far so good-sure there have been a few bumps, but for the most part he has really worked on his attitude.  

This follow through hurt.  It hurt Will's ego, it hurt my heart, it hurt our relationship while we were in the thick of it, but in the end we were both better for it.  Will learned and saw what I do for him.  I learned and saw what Follow through can do for Will and my other two boys.  As hard as it is I need to remember this experiment and follow through.  Our kids need us too.  They need to learn under our roof the consequences to poor decisions so when they are out in this ruthless world they can cope.  Cope with Confidence, Grace, Respect, and Love.  

My follow through with Will was so hard, but I did it and I am proud to say I have seen a change and shift in his behavior.  How long will it last?  I don't know that answer, but my prayer is that through this situation he and I both have grown in areas we needed to and we are both better for it.  

Where are you growing in your role as a parent?  After all we are in this together!

xo,

Amy

3 Ingredient Breakfast Sausage Balls

I am not an expert when it comes to cooking or nutrition. But, I read a lot about it, I hear a lot about it, I try to apply it, but the truth is I LOVE MY BUBBA'S FRIED CHICKEN!  

In all honesty, I do live my life by the rule of everything in moderation. I am not a diet nazi, but I do TRY....I use that word loosely, as I do get LAZY.

They say breakfast is your most important meal....and then some say no, do the fast. I have no idea which way is best, nor will I even try to pretend I do.  What I can tell you is.... for ME personally, BREAKFAST is important. And honestly for my family, too.

I have that condition you hear of: HANGRY.

When my blood sugar drops, well let's just say it is not pretty and my dear alter ego, Tawanda, rears her ugly head. So today I thought I would share with you and easy recipe that I got from my friend at Primal Mom....(You can find her on Facebook...tell her I sent you!)

This recipe is STUPID easy!  I mean seriously people!  ANYONE can do this...my six year old helps me!  And bonus it is only 3 ingredients!  Yep you heard me!  3!!!!!  So easy peasy lemon squeasy!  And double bonus....it is healthy!  And triple bonus you can make today and store in the frigelator (this is our John Paulism for refrigerator)!  So what are you waiting for...Let's get to cooking and you and I will both have breakfast made for the week!

Ingredients:

1lb natural pork sausage (confession time...I have used regular pork sausage)

1 cup grassfed grated cheese (here is another confession...I have been known to use regular cheese)

1 cup Almond flour

Mix all ingredients together and make little balls or put into tiny muffin pans and bake at 350 for 35 minutes.....

SOOOO FINGER LOOKING GOOD!

Bon appetit!

xo,

amy

She is not here...

Big Day Today!

It's my birthday!

I am 47!

I am announcing my Blog!

I woke up to the sweetest cards and flowers!

WHY AM I SAD?

Sweetest cards, flowers, and chocolate.  My heart is full.

I am not your typical birthday girl.  Birthdays do not bother me at all.  I look at them as gifts.  The gift of another day on this beautiful earth.  But today I am sad.

I sit down to do my quiet time and my mind is racing-So bad I cannot quiet it.  Instead of doing QT I decide to work on my blog.  After all, today is the big day!  There are plenty of loose ends- as this blog is a work in progress.  I decide to try to work on some technical issues (I will not bore you with the details) that I have been struggling with for a while now.  

Long story short, I go into settings to trouble shoot and BAM!  Just like that, on a silver platter, in black in white, are the instructions and help I have been looking and searching for!  For almost two weeks now!  And it hit me!  It hit me hard!  It hit me like a ton of bricks!  

Dear Mom, I love you-Amy

 She is not here!  My mom is not here!

The person who brought me into this world and was one of the first people to see and hold me is not here!  The reason I started this blog is not here!  She has ALWAYS been here on this day and I have ALWAYS spoken to her on this day!    AND NOW SHE IS NOT HERE!  And I am so sad!

 I realized as I begin to cry that the instructions I spoke of-that jumped out at me-were a gift from my mom.  Ironically she was not tech savvy at all!  Heck she barely knew what a computer was!  But, this was her way of nudging me and saying, "Happy Birthday Amy! I am here."  

It was then I realized what a perfect day to announce this blog.  My birthday!  You know why? Because on July 31 of this year, my moms birthday, was when I wrote my first story, but did not publish it.  It was July 31 that I decided it was time.  Now on October 22 I am going to go live with my grief and about one of the hardest losses I have ever wrestled with.  What a perfect day this will be- with the one exception.....she is not here.

xo,

Amy

Life in a Locker Room - On Being a Boy Mom

I know I mentioned that I am the mother of Three Beautiful, talented, loving boys who could not be more different.  I love this about each of them and embrace their differences with Grace and joy, but, I have to confess, raising boys is exciting and fun,  BUT the truth is....raising boys is quite disgusting at times and VERY messy.   Don't get me wrong, I love my little monkeys, but life is so crazy and messy!  I read this quote once and it stuck with me because OMG is it SOOOOO true....

BOYMOM

MY friend asked me what it was like to live in a house full of boys so I peed on her bathroom floor, ate everything in their fridge, told her 800 stories about Minecraft, farted 20 times, and when she was ready to kill me I gave her a hug and told her she was pretty.

Graeme and Princess Zoey

Will and John Paul all dolled up for Homecoming....

Yep!  That pretty much sums up my life in a nutshell!  Messy and funny and full of Love.  Boys just have this way....they can drive you to the brink of exhaustion and anger and then look at you and give you this dirty stinky hug, with this smile that melts your heart, and tell you how pretty you are and you just melt!  It is the craziest thing!  

I will NEVER FORGET the day I realized God's plan for me was LIFE IN A LOCKER ROOM!  It was December 13, 2010 and Trey, Will, JP and I were at the Doctors office finding out the Sex of our Miracle baby.....I just knew Graeme was a girl.  This had been by far my easiest pregnancy!  I mean with Will and JP I puked my life up all day everyday and I was hooked up to IV's and had a homecare nurse, but not with this one...I did a triathlon 9 weeks pregnant and did really good!  How could this be a boy!  Well JOKES ON ME!  I hear the Doc announce, "Congrats!  Its a boy!"  I remember thinking, "Seriously God!  Seriously this is your plan!  Life in a Locker Room!"  I remember looking to Trey and seeing Relief all over his face, which honestly infuriated me!  How could he be relieved!  I wanted a girl! Then I remember looking at Will and Jp and thinking, OK pull your you know what together!  These two are looking at an alien on the big screen and probably thinking, "Seriously!  You guys are excited about my baby brother looking like an alien!" So at that moment in time on December 13 I had the first of many breakdowns about being a mother of boys....but since then I have embraced it and realized that being a boy mom is a treasure and I basically live in a crazy house run by a tiny army that with God's help, I, with the help of Trey made and I am proud of it and in love!  

So as my story unfolds and you get to know me and my tribe more, you will see that my life is messy, exciting, fun, full of laughter, sometimes tears, sometimes frustration,  lots of hugs, many days of asking for forgiveness, but all the while trying to remain steadfast in our foundation of the Lord and so full of love my heart could burst.  As I bring you into my life, you will see my style is basically workout clothes, though I will try to ramp it up at times.  My home is made up of ikea furniture and garage sale finds, because if it gets ruined I don't pitch a hissy fit.  You will learn we do everything from Soccer to dance lessons....Yes, I am a Soccer mom and a Dance mom!  You will learn how God showed me not to pigeon hole my son into sports just because I thought, "he is a boy he should be athletic" and You will learn how I am still watching God unfold the mystery of what my six year old's passion will be... all the while living in my Locker Room and loving it!  Won't you join me and watch as our story unfolds.....I promise it will be one exciting Ride.

xo,

Amy

Quick and Healthy | A 15-minute Dinner

Quick and Healthy: Music to my ears!

So as a mother of three very active boys I am always looking for quick and healthy go-to meals, and man have I found one!  

This is not my personal recipe, though, I played with it a bit for my family’s likes and dislikes, but I did get it from The Primal Mom on Facebook.  If you have not checked her stuff out yet you really should.  

The first time I did one of her 30 day Challenges, not only did my waistline benefit, but my skin and hair, and my family benefited!  BONUS!  So you really should check her out if you are looking to transform your eating habits.  I still cannot say we are strictly primal, but I can say we are much healthier, thanks in part to Primal Mom!

This recipe is perfect for those nights when you are so sick of the crockpot that you could bury it!

I don't know how I live without my crockpot, but their are days where I just want to kick that thing!  Yesterday was one of those days!  We had dance, acting, soccer, flag football and homework.  So i pulled out this recipe and started cooking around 6:30 and was done by 6:45 and everyone got a health meal! So take a look at the recipe and see if it is something your family might enjoy.  But like my mama always said:

"You won't know till you try it!"

Paleo Turkey Squash Recipe

Ingredients

1lb Ground Turkey

2-4 yellow squash (I usually do one zucchini and one squash, her recipe calls for 4 squash),

1 lb of bacon (Can I get an amen! Love me some Bacon)

8 Mushrooms (your choice)

2 small onions

2 celery stalks

2 teaspoons dried parsley

2 teaspoons coriander

2 teaspoons ground cumin

2 teaspoons garlic powder

2 teaspoons dried cilantro

2 limes

Prep

Slice squash into thin medallions, chop bacon into small pieces, chop mushrooms, chop onion, chop celery (SECRET, you can buy your onion and celery already chopped and if you have an HEB near you they have them chopped and packaged together in the deli!)

Cooking Instructions

In a large skillet or large pot, cook bacon pieces.  When done, remove bacon from the pan and set aside. (try not to eat it all!  That is always our problem!) LEAVE THE BACON GREASE IN THE PAN.  

Next using the same pan, on medium heat, add the squash slices, onion and celery (I add mushrooms here because my family is not crazy about mushrooms and if add them early they cook down and are smaller so harder to see :)  

Saute 5 minutes.  Remove from pan and set aside with the bacon.  

Using the same pan, add ground turkey and cook 5-7 minutes, until no longer pink.  

Once turkey is cooked, add mushrooms if you have not already, plus parsley, coriander, cumin, garlic powder and cilantro.  Mix well.  

Add squash and bacon mixture that you have set aside and mix well.  Cover the pan and turn down heat to simmer for 5 minutes.  

Plate turkey squash.  Squeeze lime over the dish.  Done!  (Now with the lime, Will, Trey and I get the lime.  JP and Graeme do not....you have to do what is best for your families tastebuds.)

Hope you enjoy this dish as much as my family does.

Jesus and Joe....Or Joe and Jesus?

Come away with me to a quiet place and rest awhile-Jesus

Mark6:31

So I wish I could tell you I wake up EVERY day and spent my first 15 minutes with God....BUT, I can't!  The truth is,  my first 15 minutes are spent making coffee, getting the pup to pee,  (me too if I am being 100 percent honest), and depending on the day....well, who knows what else.  I am a mother of three boys!  IF we are speaking the Truth, and we are....that should NOT be an excuse...but I am me and....well....it is...Do you know why I would like to spend my first 15 with God?  Because it helps me to get grounded for the Day!  

Here is what it does for me....

• It strengthens my relationship with God (duh)!   With God  I can be 100 percent honest with where I am in my life and what is truly spinning me out....because there is alot in this day and age that spins me out!  

• It reminds me to Count my MANY MANY MANY blessings and I am reminded that I have been made right in God's image because of what Jesus did for me and for you.

• And lastly I can reflect on the people in my life...my husband, our marriage, my boys, our relationships,  my father and siblings, my friends, you guys, my little "angels of the day", those that have left this world and the list goes on and on..... 

This is what the first 15 does for me and my heart is in the right place...it's just some days it just does not happen!  Heck some weeks it does not happen!  Oh Heck!  Let's be real honest!!!! I have been known to go MONTHS with it not happening!  But, it does not change the simple fact that, regardless, my Father in Heaven loves me!  I know this....and I don't take advantage of it....Life just sometimes....well, it gets busy, it gets messy, and sometimes....truthfully....it gets easy....Ya you heard me.....easy.....and I get lazy!  It's a fact......Nothing I am proud of, but it is the cold hard truth....So my goal is now Jesus and Joe....but honestly it is Joe and Jesus....because I am not the nicest without Joe......

 

xo,

Amy

“My Cup Runneth over”

— Psalm 23:5

Easy Salad for An Outdoor Gathering - Marinated Cole Slaw Salad

Today especially, I need an easy go-to salad and side dish that can feed a crowd.  On top of soccer, acting and grocery shopping, plus whatever else life throws at me, I'm making a very simple Marinated Cole Slaw Salad. For 30. (Yes, you read that right.)

And no Karen, there is no Mayo!

The next event you have where they are cooking hamburgers or anything on the grill really, try this.  I usually double it because I promise this is one that EVERYONE loves and you will too.  

Amy's Marinated Cole Slaw Salad

Ingredients

 (Double if you have a crowd)

1 bag of cabbage salad (I use Taylor Farms Asian Chopped Salad and I don't use the wonton noodles, sliced almonds, and seasame ginger dressing.  You can throw away or use on a salad another day.) 

1 (3 oz) pkg of chicken flavored ramen noodles (crumbled, use a spoon and before you open the packet pound out any frustrations you may or may not have.  It's fun!) Reserve the seasoning package for the dressing.

2 Tablespoons Sugar

3 Tablespoons Apple Cider Vinegar

1/3 Cup Olive Oil

3 Green onions (there are green onions in the salad package, but I like to add more)

1 small package of Slivered almonds (you can use what is in the pre packaged salad or save those for another time)

1/2 cup to 1 cup sunflower seeds (whatever your family prefers)

Salt and pepper for taste

Salad Dressing:

In a coffee cup, mix the ramen packet, sugar, apple cider vinegar, and oil together.  I do it in a coffee cup and then put in the microwave and stir occasionally until sugar dissolves.  You can do this on the stove in a sauce pan as well, but I like to keep things simple and easy.  Let cool and stir before pouring on your salad.  You can use all the dressing or part.... your families taste buds will be different from my family so do you decide what is best for your family.

Salad Directions:

In a large bowl place your salad, almonds, sunflower seeds, green onion if you have extra like me and the crumbled ramen noodles.  Toss together.  

Once your dressing is cool stir and pour over your salad.  You can serve immediately or allow to sit for a bit and marinate.  The Berry's like it to marinate!   So easy and oh so good!  Bon appetit!

xo,

Amy

The Silver Lining of Grief | Some thoughts on losing my mom

Our Time Together was the Greatest Gift....love you Mom.

A friend posted a comment about grief yesterday morning on her social media account.   Her mother too has passed away and reading her post was cleansing, yet it brought up some emotions again.   I cried all day missing my mom.  I thought time would make it easier, but this month has been rough.  I guess that is why they say it takes 12 to 18 months.

Grief is strange.  I don't like it.  It is weird.  The  thoughts, the what ifs. The  wondering if mom is ok, all the while knowing I really am not without her here. 

Silver lining...the funny memories.  My mom was a pistol! A beautiful red headed pistol!

Everyone around knew she was a firecracker!  I think that is where I get a lot of my pop from!  I will never forget one day in the hospital after she had her first stroke, physical therapy had come in to do her exercises and they asked my mom to lift her leg.   I wish I had a video of it!

She threw that leg up so high it almost went behind her head and hit the pillow! Everyone in the room busted out laughing because that was just her personality.  Tell the redhead to do something and she was not just going to do it, she would do whatever you asked and then some just to show off!  She was this tiny little 4 foot something red headed elf that weighed maybe 95lbs... Kind of like a tea cup chihuahua who thought she was a great dane!  She was so feisty and funny!  Man do I miss her and wish I could call her, but I can't.  

So on days like today, when the tidal wave of grief hits, I will  dig in deep. I will be ok with whatever emotions come out me.  I will repeat: I am ok all the while trying like heck to remember something about her that will carry me through.  After all there always is a silver lining - we just have to look for it.

xo,

Amy