What can we Whip up this Wednesday?
Halloween is behind us and the crash from all the sugar is upon us! Lord help me! If you are like me, today you are exhausted and just want something easy and healthy for dinner. Something that will not create a lot of mess in the kitchen and fuss amongst the multiple taste buds in your house... I HAVE IT! Read along and see if you agree!
Halloween is behind us and the crash from all the sugar is upon us! Lord help me! If you are like me, today you are exhausted and just want something easy and healthy for dinner. Something that will not create a lot of mess in the kitchen and fuss amongst the multiple taste buds in your house... I HAVE IT! I can share with you what we do in my house, because we have just that! Multiple tastebuds to please: Some who love this and some who love that! So I need a dish that can be versatile and make everyone happy AND be SUPER DUPER easy for my tired body.
I got this dish from Six Sisters Stuff and it will not disappoint! It is DELISH!
INGREDIENTS:
2 LBS of flank steak, 1 teaspoon minced garlic ( I used crushed garlic) , 1/4 cup soy sauce (I used coconut aminos because I don't like soy sauce), 1/4 cup olive oil, 1/4 teaspoon cumin, 1/4 teaspoon chili powder, 2 Tablespoons lime juice, 2 cups COOKED rice (we do white in our family but I am sure brown is great too) 4 cups chopped romaine lettuce, 2 cups pico de gallo, 1 (15 ounce) can black beans, 1 cup guacamole (central market's is amazing) 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese, 1/2 bunch chopped cilantro for topping
INSTRUCTIONS:
Slice steak into 1/4 inch strips
In a resealable gallon-ziplock bag, combine steak, garlic, soy sauce, olive oil, cumin, chili powder, and lime juice. Marinade in the frigelator for at least 1 hour (it taste better the longer it marinates).
Remove steak from the marinade and pan fry over medium heat until it is cooked all the way through.
evenly distribute the cooked steak, rice, romaine lettuce, pico, black beans, guacamole, and shredded cheese.
Top with cilantro and lime juice
MAKES 4 BOWLS. IF YOU ARE LIKE ME AND ARE FEEDING HUNGRY BOYS I DOUBLE THIS RECIPE! SO GOOD
ALTERNATE WAY TO COOK STEAK IF DO NOT LIKE DOING IN A FRYING PAN:
I hate the way I smell after I fry anything.....I have found an alternate way to cook the steak that I personally love!
For this you will need a cast iron skillet and do not cut the steak before you marinate it.
preheat oven to 450. Once at 450 put your pan empty in the oven for 30 minutes. Once the pan is nice and hot place your marinated meat in the pan and put back in the oven for 5 minutes flip it and cook for 3-4 minutes or to your liking. We like our meat medium rare so I usually do 4 minutes. Slice your meat into thin slices and follow the rest of the recipe.
And if your house is like mine you can make each bowl to each hearts desire. For instance, my man/boy only likes beans, rice, meat and cheese.....so that is how he gets his....and everyone is happy!
Enjoy!
What are you cooking these days that is super easy during these busy times? I would love to know!
xo,
Amy
My Latest Book Reviews: October Book Club
Stop in and see what books I read in October and tell me what you read. I am always looking for a good book to read!
I started October off with a book that I actually picked up in August to read on my cruise and boy am I glad I did not! The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware...This is a story about a young lady that takes a cruise for work and realizes the gal in the cabin next door has gone missing. From that moment on this book takes a lot of twist and turns. While I enjoyed reading this book, towards the end I did find it to be a little ridiculous. With that being said, I finished it and glad I did because the truth is I really enjoyed it until about 3/4 of the way through. Then I got a little bored because the story got a little wacky for me and unbelievable. I would still suggest this book because I did enjoy taking this eerie cruise with the main Character Lo out in the deep, blue, waters and you may too!
After being somewhat disappointed by my first choice, I decided to choose a book I thought would be a feel good easy read. Man did I pick it! The Blue Bistro by Elin Hilderbrand. If you have ever read and of Hilderbrand's book you will know that they all take place in Nantucket and for the most part she never disappoints. Sometimes her books get a little long for me, but this one was fantastic! I could not put it down! Every time I opened my book I found myself hungry for food and hungry for more of the story. The story takes place, like all of her books, in Nantucket, at the hottest restaurant in town. The main Character Adrienne has just moved there and finds herself working in the restaurant business for the first time in her life, but it was not a far stretch as she has been in hotel management most of her adult life. As the story unfolds you learn the restaurant is in it's final season and the mystery of why begins to unfold. Of course there is a little love story on the side with many other little side stories. This book is a must read if you are looking for an easy book with a beautiful story of love on many different levels.
I decided for my last book to go with The Story Teller by Jodi Picoult. This book was so good, but, of course all of her books are. I love how they all make you think and challenge you as a reader and this one did just that. It challenged me to learn more about the Holocaust as the story takes place in the present, but in the past as well during the Holocaust. The main character Sage has been asked by her new friend to help him die and the twist and turns that come from that one request alone are worth running out to get this book and diving in! At times this book was so hard for me to read because it would literally make my heart ache and my stomach hurt. I would have to put it down to take a moment because if you have ever read Jodi Picoult you know how beautifully she writes that your truly feel your characters. I will say it is hard to figure out at first and you really have to concentrate, but it is so worth it! If you like learning about the past with a amazing fictional story, this is the book for you! I highly recommend it.
Through this journey with my blog, I have discovered the joy of reading again and with that I have decided to read more to my littlest one. So each month I hope to share with you a children's book he and I are reading together and this month we chose The Dot by Peter Reynolds. It is a beautiful story about how we all have a creative spirit inside of us....and all it takes is one dot to bring it out. When I explained the story to Graeme he said to me, "kind of like your blog mommy." Out of the mouths of babes. If you have little ones at home this is a neat book and I know they will enjoy it and you will to!
xo,
Amy
Oh no You Didn't!
A TEENAGER!
It's a scary thing I tell ya! A Teenager! Somedays it is so kind and loving and other days you are like who is this creature!? And you find yourself thinking, "Oh No You Didn't!?"
Do you ever feel like where did I go wrong? How do people do this? Dear God, PLEASE HELP ME! I AM A FAILURE AS A PARENT!
It does not matter what stage you are in with this thing called parenting and honestly I don't think it matters what book you read on the subject matter- I still say it is ONE BIG FAT EXPERIMENT!
I mean come on--EVERY kid is different and EVERY kid thinks differently or reacts differently! So yes, while these books give us direction the truth is it is STILL AN EXPERIMENT!
ITS KIND OF LIKE MEDICINE REALLY--The way I see it with medicine, every case is different, every body is different, every cell is different, and that is how our kids are! DIFFERENT! So I have decided, due to a "CERTAIN" situation, I will do an experiment. Maybe just maybe, my little experiment will help someone else in my shoes navigate this thing called...
A TEENAGER!
It's a scary thing I tell ya! A Teenager! Somedays they are so kind and loving and other days you are like who is this creature!? And you find yourself thinking, "Oh No You Didn't!?"
So for this experiment here is your background:
I get up every morning at 5:45 for my Quiet Time (I will call this QT). I pray over my family, our day, my friends, etc. etc... by 6:20 am I start waking the boys and I usually start with our Soccer Player. At least twice a week right now we have to be out the door by 6:40 to get to his Physical Therapy for his ankle. I drop him at PT and if my husband is on the road I run back home (this is what I did this particular morning). I get the other two boy's up and going and get them to school and yep I head back to PT to pick up Will. As we are leaving therapy I gently ask Will if he has gotten his note for school since we will be late? The emotion that erupts from him on this one question is UNBELIEVABLE at best, his language is colorful and he let's me know that as far as he is concerned I know nothing....
Enter Tawanda! (remember her? my alter ego)
Oh NO he Didn't!
But unfortunately, Oh Yes he did! When I get to a safe reasonable area to pull over and look him in the eyes and calmly say, "Will, I am your cook. Your uber driver. Your laundry mat! Your coach! your cheerleader! AND much, much, more, but I am most importantly your mother! You don't ever talk to me like this again and until you can appreciate me you are on your own! You are on your own with your meals! Your laundry! Your rides! Your recruitment coaches! Your school! Your jobs! YOU name it....you are on your own! Once I get you to school you are on your own!" Not another word was spoken- When we got to the school... AGAIN he surprised me! He got out of the car without saying a word and slammed the door!
BIG MISTAKE!
This is where my heart crumbled and I knew what I had to do-I had to follow through and nip this behavior in the bud. This is not the boy I raised. Where have I gone wrong? What should I do?
It hit me! Blog about it! Blog about my follow through and how it felt, so on days in the future when something like this happens again with Will or one of the other two boys I have something to remind me it will be ok. And guess what? So will you my friend!
Teenagers are hard, but so were toddlers, and all the other stages-It is just a different kind of hard! We are all in this together and together if we share our stories and our mistakes even, maybe we can raise Strong, Confident, Kind, Loving, Respectful, God fearing human beings. This is what I want for my kids and I am sure it is what you want for yours. So yes, discipline and follow through are hard, but together we can do it!
Fast Forward to the very next day, because my son was too smart to ask for any assistance the same day, however, he did think I would forget and soften within 24 hours. WRONG! He asked for a ride to work. I looked at him calmly and without any emotion simply said, "you are own your own buddy...remember?" Tears welled up into his eyes and I had to turn and walk away as they did in mine too and my heart was yet again crushed. I knew I had to do it though. I knew he would be late for work, but that was a consequence-
Consequence-a result or effect of an action or condition
Something these kids need to learn. Will went through the rest of the weekend without asking me for anything, it was strange, and we were distant, but he was thinking and I was praying. By Sunday night, he was asking for forgiveness and telling me how much he appreciates me and realizes how much I do. I accepted his forgiveness of course and gave him the biggest hug and so far so good-sure there have been a few bumps, but for the most part he has really worked on his attitude.
This follow through hurt. It hurt Will's ego, it hurt my heart, it hurt our relationship while we were in the thick of it, but in the end we were both better for it. Will learned and saw what I do for him. I learned and saw what Follow through can do for Will and my other two boys. As hard as it is I need to remember this experiment and follow through. Our kids need us too. They need to learn under our roof the consequences to poor decisions so when they are out in this ruthless world they can cope. Cope with Confidence, Grace, Respect, and Love.
My follow through with Will was so hard, but I did it and I am proud to say I have seen a change and shift in his behavior. How long will it last? I don't know that answer, but my prayer is that through this situation he and I both have grown in areas we needed to and we are both better for it.
Where are you growing in your role as a parent? After all we are in this together!
xo,
Amy
3 Ingredient Breakfast Sausage Balls
They say breakfast is your most important meal....is it? I have no idea! But if you give me a recipe with sausage in it and tell me it is easy....I am in...if you like Sausage, easy, three ingredients, and healthy, read on...this one if for you!
I am not an expert when it comes to cooking or nutrition. But, I read a lot about it, I hear a lot about it, I try to apply it, but the truth is I LOVE MY BUBBA'S FRIED CHICKEN!
In all honesty, I do live my life by the rule of everything in moderation. I am not a diet nazi, but I do TRY....I use that word loosely, as I do get LAZY.
They say breakfast is your most important meal....and then some say no, do the fast. I have no idea which way is best, nor will I even try to pretend I do. What I can tell you is.... for ME personally, BREAKFAST is important. And honestly for my family, too.
I have that condition you hear of: HANGRY.
When my blood sugar drops, well let's just say it is not pretty and my dear alter ego, Tawanda, rears her ugly head. So today I thought I would share with you and easy recipe that I got from my friend at Primal Mom....(You can find her on Facebook...tell her I sent you!)
This recipe is STUPID easy! I mean seriously people! ANYONE can do this...my six year old helps me! And bonus it is only 3 ingredients! Yep you heard me! 3!!!!! So easy peasy lemon squeasy! And double bonus....it is healthy! And triple bonus you can make today and store in the frigelator (this is our John Paulism for refrigerator)! So what are you waiting for...Let's get to cooking and you and I will both have breakfast made for the week!
Ingredients:
1lb natural pork sausage (confession time...I have used regular pork sausage)
1 cup grassfed grated cheese (here is another confession...I have been known to use regular cheese)
1 cup Almond flour
Mix all ingredients together and make little balls or put into tiny muffin pans and bake at 350 for 35 minutes.....
SOOOO FINGER LOOKING GOOD!
Bon appetit!
xo,
amy
She is not here...
BIG DAY TODAY! I AM TURNING 47 AND ANNOUNCING MY BLOG! WHY AM I SO SAD? READ ON AND YOU WILL SEE.
Big Day Today!
It's my birthday!
I am 47!
I am announcing my Blog!
I woke up to the sweetest cards and flowers!
WHY AM I SAD?
Sweetest cards, flowers, and chocolate. My heart is full.
I am not your typical birthday girl. Birthdays do not bother me at all. I look at them as gifts. The gift of another day on this beautiful earth. But today I am sad.
I sit down to do my quiet time and my mind is racing-So bad I cannot quiet it. Instead of doing QT I decide to work on my blog. After all, today is the big day! There are plenty of loose ends- as this blog is a work in progress. I decide to try to work on some technical issues (I will not bore you with the details) that I have been struggling with for a while now.
Long story short, I go into settings to trouble shoot and BAM! Just like that, on a silver platter, in black in white, are the instructions and help I have been looking and searching for! For almost two weeks now! And it hit me! It hit me hard! It hit me like a ton of bricks!
Dear Mom, I love you-Amy
She is not here! My mom is not here!
The person who brought me into this world and was one of the first people to see and hold me is not here! The reason I started this blog is not here! She has ALWAYS been here on this day and I have ALWAYS spoken to her on this day! AND NOW SHE IS NOT HERE! And I am so sad!
I realized as I begin to cry that the instructions I spoke of-that jumped out at me-were a gift from my mom. Ironically she was not tech savvy at all! Heck she barely knew what a computer was! But, this was her way of nudging me and saying, "Happy Birthday Amy! I am here."
It was then I realized what a perfect day to announce this blog. My birthday! You know why? Because on July 31 of this year, my moms birthday, was when I wrote my first story, but did not publish it. It was July 31 that I decided it was time. Now on October 22 I am going to go live with my grief and about one of the hardest losses I have ever wrestled with. What a perfect day this will be- with the one exception.....she is not here.
xo,
Amy
Life in a Locker Room - On Being a Boy Mom
BOYMOM
MY friend asked me what it was like to live in a house full of boys so I peed on her bathroom floor, ate everything in their fridge, told her 800 stories about Minecraft, farted 20 times, and when she was ready to kill me I gave her a hug and told her she was pretty.
I know I mentioned that I am the mother of Three Beautiful, talented, loving boys who could not be more different. I love this about each of them and embrace their differences with Grace and joy, but, I have to confess, raising boys is exciting and fun, BUT the truth is....raising boys is quite disgusting at times and VERY messy. Don't get me wrong, I love my little monkeys, but life is so crazy and messy! I read this quote once and it stuck with me because OMG is it SOOOOO true....
BOYMOM
MY friend asked me what it was like to live in a house full of boys so I peed on her bathroom floor, ate everything in their fridge, told her 800 stories about Minecraft, farted 20 times, and when she was ready to kill me I gave her a hug and told her she was pretty.
Graeme and Princess Zoey
Will and John Paul all dolled up for Homecoming....
Yep! That pretty much sums up my life in a nutshell! Messy and funny and full of Love. Boys just have this way....they can drive you to the brink of exhaustion and anger and then look at you and give you this dirty stinky hug, with this smile that melts your heart, and tell you how pretty you are and you just melt! It is the craziest thing!
I will NEVER FORGET the day I realized God's plan for me was LIFE IN A LOCKER ROOM! It was December 13, 2010 and Trey, Will, JP and I were at the Doctors office finding out the Sex of our Miracle baby.....I just knew Graeme was a girl. This had been by far my easiest pregnancy! I mean with Will and JP I puked my life up all day everyday and I was hooked up to IV's and had a homecare nurse, but not with this one...I did a triathlon 9 weeks pregnant and did really good! How could this be a boy! Well JOKES ON ME! I hear the Doc announce, "Congrats! Its a boy!" I remember thinking, "Seriously God! Seriously this is your plan! Life in a Locker Room!" I remember looking to Trey and seeing Relief all over his face, which honestly infuriated me! How could he be relieved! I wanted a girl! Then I remember looking at Will and Jp and thinking, OK pull your you know what together! These two are looking at an alien on the big screen and probably thinking, "Seriously! You guys are excited about my baby brother looking like an alien!" So at that moment in time on December 13 I had the first of many breakdowns about being a mother of boys....but since then I have embraced it and realized that being a boy mom is a treasure and I basically live in a crazy house run by a tiny army that with God's help, I, with the help of Trey made and I am proud of it and in love!
So as my story unfolds and you get to know me and my tribe more, you will see that my life is messy, exciting, fun, full of laughter, sometimes tears, sometimes frustration, lots of hugs, many days of asking for forgiveness, but all the while trying to remain steadfast in our foundation of the Lord and so full of love my heart could burst. As I bring you into my life, you will see my style is basically workout clothes, though I will try to ramp it up at times. My home is made up of ikea furniture and garage sale finds, because if it gets ruined I don't pitch a hissy fit. You will learn we do everything from Soccer to dance lessons....Yes, I am a Soccer mom and a Dance mom! You will learn how God showed me not to pigeon hole my son into sports just because I thought, "he is a boy he should be athletic" and You will learn how I am still watching God unfold the mystery of what my six year old's passion will be... all the while living in my Locker Room and loving it! Won't you join me and watch as our story unfolds.....I promise it will be one exciting Ride.
xo,
Amy
Quick and Healthy | A 15-minute Dinner
So as a mother of three very active boys I am always looking for quick and healthy go-to meals, and man have I found one! Come and take a look and give it a Whirl! I dare ya! You might just like it.
Quick and Healthy: Music to my ears!
So as a mother of three very active boys I am always looking for quick and healthy go-to meals, and man have I found one!
This is not my personal recipe, though, I played with it a bit for my family’s likes and dislikes, but I did get it from The Primal Mom on Facebook. If you have not checked her stuff out yet you really should.
The first time I did one of her 30 day Challenges, not only did my waistline benefit, but my skin and hair, and my family benefited! BONUS! So you really should check her out if you are looking to transform your eating habits. I still cannot say we are strictly primal, but I can say we are much healthier, thanks in part to Primal Mom!
This recipe is perfect for those nights when you are so sick of the crockpot that you could bury it!
I don't know how I live without my crockpot, but their are days where I just want to kick that thing! Yesterday was one of those days! We had dance, acting, soccer, flag football and homework. So i pulled out this recipe and started cooking around 6:30 and was done by 6:45 and everyone got a health meal! So take a look at the recipe and see if it is something your family might enjoy. But like my mama always said:
"You won't know till you try it!"
Paleo Turkey Squash Recipe
Ingredients
1lb Ground Turkey
2-4 yellow squash (I usually do one zucchini and one squash, her recipe calls for 4 squash),
1 lb of bacon (Can I get an amen! Love me some Bacon)
8 Mushrooms (your choice)
2 small onions
2 celery stalks
2 teaspoons dried parsley
2 teaspoons coriander
2 teaspoons ground cumin
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons dried cilantro
2 limes
Prep
Slice squash into thin medallions, chop bacon into small pieces, chop mushrooms, chop onion, chop celery (SECRET, you can buy your onion and celery already chopped and if you have an HEB near you they have them chopped and packaged together in the deli!)
Cooking Instructions
In a large skillet or large pot, cook bacon pieces. When done, remove bacon from the pan and set aside. (try not to eat it all! That is always our problem!) LEAVE THE BACON GREASE IN THE PAN.
Next using the same pan, on medium heat, add the squash slices, onion and celery (I add mushrooms here because my family is not crazy about mushrooms and if add them early they cook down and are smaller so harder to see :)
Saute 5 minutes. Remove from pan and set aside with the bacon.
Using the same pan, add ground turkey and cook 5-7 minutes, until no longer pink.
Once turkey is cooked, add mushrooms if you have not already, plus parsley, coriander, cumin, garlic powder and cilantro. Mix well.
Add squash and bacon mixture that you have set aside and mix well. Cover the pan and turn down heat to simmer for 5 minutes.
Plate turkey squash. Squeeze lime over the dish. Done! (Now with the lime, Will, Trey and I get the lime. JP and Graeme do not....you have to do what is best for your families tastebuds.)
Hope you enjoy this dish as much as my family does.
Jesus and Joe....Or Joe and Jesus?
So I wish I could tell you I wake up EVERY day and spent my first 15 minutes with God....BUT, I can't! The truth is, my first 15 minutes are spent making coffee, getting the pup to pee, (me too if I am being 100 percent honest), and depending on the day....well, who knows what else.
Come away with me to a quiet place and rest awhile-Jesus
Mark6:31
So I wish I could tell you I wake up EVERY day and spent my first 15 minutes with God....BUT, I can't! The truth is, my first 15 minutes are spent making coffee, getting the pup to pee, (me too if I am being 100 percent honest), and depending on the day....well, who knows what else. I am a mother of three boys! IF we are speaking the Truth, and we are....that should NOT be an excuse...but I am me and....well....it is...Do you know why I would like to spend my first 15 with God? Because it helps me to get grounded for the Day!
Here is what it does for me....
It strengthens my relationship with God (duh)! With God I can be 100 percent honest with where I am in my life and what is truly spinning me out....because there is alot in this day and age that spins me out!
It reminds me to Count my MANY MANY MANY blessings and I am reminded that I have been made right in God's image because of what Jesus did for me and for you.
And lastly I can reflect on the people in my life...my husband, our marriage, my boys, our relationships, my father and siblings, my friends, you guys, my little "angels of the day", those that have left this world and the list goes on and on.....
This is what the first 15 does for me and my heart is in the right place...it's just some days it just does not happen! Heck some weeks it does not happen! Oh Heck! Let's be real honest!!!! I have been known to go MONTHS with it not happening! But, it does not change the simple fact that, regardless, my Father in Heaven loves me! I know this....and I don't take advantage of it....Life just sometimes....well, it gets busy, it gets messy, and sometimes....truthfully....it gets easy....Ya you heard me.....easy.....and I get lazy! It's a fact......Nothing I am proud of, but it is the cold hard truth....So my goal is now Jesus and Joe....but honestly it is Joe and Jesus....because I am not the nicest without Joe......
xo,
Amy
“My Cup Runneth over”
Easy Salad for An Outdoor Gathering - Marinated Cole Slaw Salad
I need an easy go-to salad and side dish that can feed a crowd. On top of the kids' soccer, acting and grocery shopping, plus whatever else life throws at me, I'm making a very simple Marinated Cole Slaw Salad. For 30. (Yes, you read that right.)
Today especially, I need an easy go-to salad and side dish that can feed a crowd. On top of soccer, acting and grocery shopping, plus whatever else life throws at me, I'm making a very simple Marinated Cole Slaw Salad. For 30. (Yes, you read that right.)
And no Karen, there is no Mayo!
The next event you have where they are cooking hamburgers or anything on the grill really, try this. I usually double it because I promise this is one that EVERYONE loves and you will too.
Amy's Marinated Cole Slaw Salad
Ingredients
(Double if you have a crowd)
1 bag of cabbage salad (I use Taylor Farms Asian Chopped Salad and I don't use the wonton noodles, sliced almonds, and seasame ginger dressing. You can throw away or use on a salad another day.)
1 (3 oz) pkg of chicken flavored ramen noodles (crumbled, use a spoon and before you open the packet pound out any frustrations you may or may not have. It's fun!) Reserve the seasoning package for the dressing.
2 Tablespoons Sugar
3 Tablespoons Apple Cider Vinegar
1/3 Cup Olive Oil
3 Green onions (there are green onions in the salad package, but I like to add more)
1 small package of Slivered almonds (you can use what is in the pre packaged salad or save those for another time)
1/2 cup to 1 cup sunflower seeds (whatever your family prefers)
Salt and pepper for taste
Salad Dressing:
In a coffee cup, mix the ramen packet, sugar, apple cider vinegar, and oil together. I do it in a coffee cup and then put in the microwave and stir occasionally until sugar dissolves. You can do this on the stove in a sauce pan as well, but I like to keep things simple and easy. Let cool and stir before pouring on your salad. You can use all the dressing or part.... your families taste buds will be different from my family so do you decide what is best for your family.
Salad Directions:
In a large bowl place your salad, almonds, sunflower seeds, green onion if you have extra like me and the crumbled ramen noodles. Toss together.
Once your dressing is cool stir and pour over your salad. You can serve immediately or allow to sit for a bit and marinate. The Berry's like it to marinate! So easy and oh so good! Bon appetit!
xo,
Amy
The Silver Lining of Grief | Some thoughts on losing my mom
Grief is strange. I don't like it. It is weird. The thoughts, the what ifs. Wondering if my mom is ok, all the while knowing I really am not without her here. But I'm learning to look for the silver linings in my waves of grief. Maybe you are, too?
Our Time Together was the Greatest Gift....love you Mom.
A friend posted a comment about grief yesterday morning on her social media account. Her mother too has passed away and reading her post was cleansing, yet it brought up some emotions again. I cried all day missing my mom. I thought time would make it easier, but this month has been rough. I guess that is why they say it takes 12 to 18 months.
Grief is strange. I don't like it. It is weird. The thoughts, the what ifs. The wondering if mom is ok, all the while knowing I really am not without her here.
Silver lining...the funny memories. My mom was a pistol! A beautiful red headed pistol!
Everyone around knew she was a firecracker! I think that is where I get a lot of my pop from! I will never forget one day in the hospital after she had her first stroke, physical therapy had come in to do her exercises and they asked my mom to lift her leg. I wish I had a video of it!
She threw that leg up so high it almost went behind her head and hit the pillow! Everyone in the room busted out laughing because that was just her personality. Tell the redhead to do something and she was not just going to do it, she would do whatever you asked and then some just to show off! She was this tiny little 4 foot something red headed elf that weighed maybe 95lbs... Kind of like a tea cup chihuahua who thought she was a great dane! She was so feisty and funny! Man do I miss her and wish I could call her, but I can't.
So on days like today, when the tidal wave of grief hits, I will dig in deep. I will be ok with whatever emotions come out me. I will repeat: I am ok all the while trying like heck to remember something about her that will carry me through. After all there always is a silver lining - we just have to look for it.
xo,
Amy
Doubting God
As I sat watching the Hurricane unfold in Florida and remembering the effects of Hurricane Harvey just the week before and the earthquake in Mexico and Kim in Korea, my goodness this is a lot of bad I kept thinking to myself! I started thinking, "What the heck God?!" I mean my mom's Death hit me VERY hard and I was doubting God, but now this? This has got to have a lot of believers doubting.
As I sat watching the tragic event of Las Vegas unfold and remembering Hurricane Maria, Harvey, and Irma, and the earthquake in Mexico and Kim in Korea...My goodness this is a lot of bad I kept thinking to myself! I started thinking, "what the heck God?!" I mean my mom's Death hit me VERY hard and I was doubting God, but now this? This has got to have a lot of believers Doubting. Unfortunately, that is what Satan wants which puts him at an advantage. Which infuriates me so I started wondering how do I get the upper hand on my doubt? I look Up and look to God and really ask some hard questions. Satan really does not like this and I personally think he preys on these questions.
I think Satan looks at this questioning as a weakness and just can't wait to pounce. So I decided I would try to Look at it from God's perspective which meant really digging in to my quiet time. Really asking hard questions and crying out to God and asking the hard question, "WHY?"
After Irma hit the beautiful islands I kept thinking....what a terrible loss of life! WHY? AND SHE WAS STILL ON HER WAY TO FLORIDA WHICH MEANT MORE LOSS! WHY GOD!?
Then it hit me! All loss of life is terrible. A child dying of cancer is tragic! It should be against the law for a child to die before their parent. Someone getting killed in a sudden accident is tragic! There is no time to say good bye. My mom, after 80 years on this earth dying, tragic! I lost my best friend! And all these people in the wake of these storms or bad dictators. Tragic! It is all bad. AND newsflash, People die everyday!
INTERESTING FACT: Did you know that 154,000 on average die everyday! And guess what...God knows EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!
GOD is aware of EVERY single person who suffers and who dies EVERY moment of EVERY day in EVERY nook and cranny of the world. So while I sat there thinking how unfair and why is it happening, I had to remind myself of the mom whose child died of Cancer, or the Friend whose best friend took their life through drugs and alcohol, or the Wife whose husband died in an accident, or the loss of life to Malaria, to Heart attacks, to head injuries to whatever else...you get the point. It is ALL bad and it ALL seems unfair!
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE THE ONE IN THE EYE OF THE STORM and it is your loved one who died.
It is so easy to Doubt God during these times, but what we NEED to remember and what we NEED to hold on to is God created this universe. God gave us life and He determines the length of life for everyone. He is simply taking back what is HIS. WE ARE HIS.
When we start to doubt God we are letting Satan win and we cannot do this. We are God's children. When we are suffering we need to try as hard as we can to see it from God's perspective. Sometimes we cannot see God's perspective until well after the Storm is gone and honestly there are storms we may NEVER know God's perspective until we get to heaven. So how do we deal? How do we not doubt?
FAITH MY FRIEND! FAITH AND TRUST THAT GOD IS INVOLVED IN ALL OUR SUFFERING. WE MUST HOLD ON TO THE FACT THAT OUR SUFFERING IS NEVER MEANINGLESS. OUR SUFFERING ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH GOD'S ETERNAL PURPOSE.
I do realize that this is so hard to understand. We are after only human. So my dear friend, when suffering reaches such an intensity in your life that seems senseless and you just want to give up....it is then and only then that we MUST CLING TO GOD IN FAITH!
DEFINITION OF FAITH: complete trust or confidence in something or someone: trust, belief, confidence, conviction
So as life unfolds and we suffer tragic events, suffering, and losses.....let us never let go of our faith and God because God will never let Go of you or me.
xo,
Amy
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Chicken & Rice Soup - My Way (Paleo-ish)
About a year ago, I decided to change the way I ate. I am not a hardcore Paleo mama by any stretch of the imagination, but I do try. My motto in life is pretty much anything and everything in moderation. This would include my diet. You may or may not see me indulge in a coke here and there and you will FOR SURE see me indulge in Vino and Vodka and the list goes on and on. But, for the most part, I do try. Here is my take on her Chicken & Rice Soup. I make it and eat on it all week long!
About a year ago, I decided to change the way I ate. I am not a hard core paleo mama by any stretch of the imagination, but I do try. My motto in life is pretty much anything and everything in moderation. This would include my diet. You may or may not see me indulge in a coke here and there and you will FOR SURE see me indulge in Vino and Vodka and the list goes on and on. But, for the most part, I do try.
One thing I started doing last year, with the help of Primal Mom, (check her out on Facebook) was I started cooking breakfast and lunch for the week on Sunday. Truth be told, not every Sunday, but a lot of Sundays.
This Sunday I made my version of her Chicken and Rice Soup. Y'all this stuff is AMAZING! My six year old even loves it! And did I mention it has bacon in it? Who doesn't love bacon?
I am going to share my version with you all today. You should try it, and if you are wanting to make the change to healthy eating, you really should look Primal Mom up on Facebook! I promise. Her recipes are amazing and she helps you every step of the way! And you might even get the added benefit of weight loss...just saying.....So try the soup and look up Primal Mom! I promise neither will disappoint!
Recipe for Primal Mom's Chicken and Rice Soup (mostly...I changed one or two things to fit my family)
Ingredients:
3 Chicken Breast
1/2 lb bacon
chopped up celery and onion (I go to Tom Thumb or Central Market and get the box they chopped up that day of celery and onion)
bag of small skinny carrots
Trader Joes cauliflower rice
Chopped Garlic like as much as you want I take 6 spoonfuls from the jar
4 Cups of Bone Broth
1 Cup of heavy whipping cream
2 teaspoons Red pepper flakes
1 Tablespoon Dried Thyme
Prep:
chop your bacon
Season your chicken (I use dowry's season salt, Himalayan salt and pepper) Cut chicken into small pieces
Instructions:
In a large pot over medium heat cook bacon
When bacon done add chicken and cook through. Add ALL remaining ingredients, EXCEPT CREAM, cover and simmer for 1.5 hours
When done add the cream and mix well
Serve immediately or let cool and store in refrigerator and you will have lunch ready for the next 5 days! Easy Peasy Lemmon Squeasy!
Bon Apetit!
Amy
Choose Life: On Becoming a Dance Instructor
I don't know what happens to me, but when the music comes on and I begin the steps, it's like I go into this other world. It is very cathartic at times, very healing at other times, and just a full out party. A party that I get to attend and forget what is happening around me.
Last July, after a dance class I had just taken, my now mentor, Alana, approached me about teaching. Her timing could not have been more perfect. I JUMPED at the offer - and here's why.
You guys are starting to learn a lot about me I think through my writing, but one thing I have failed to touch on is my LOVE of dancing! I don't know what happens to me, but when the music comes on and I begin the steps, it's like I go into this other world. I am serious! It is like whatever is going on around me just goes away like magic and it's just me, the music, and the moves. It is very cathartic at times, very healing at other times, and just a full out party. A party that I get to attend and forget what is happening around me.
Last July, after a dance class I had just taken, my now mentor, Alana, approached me about teaching. Her timing could not have been more perfect. You see, It was in June that my mom started not feeling well and we started trying to figure out what was going on with her. So when Alana, questioned me about wanting to teach dance I JUMPED at the offer.
Dancing for me is living.
I started the training process, and I am proud to say I am now a teacher. I dance a minimum of 3 days a week, but try hard to go 5. Believe me, I don't just jump up and say, "It's a dance day!'
No, it is me waking up those days and saying I choose to live. I actually do this most days! It is hard to get up and get moving. I totally get and understand the numbing effects of sadness and depression and just not wanting to engage, but I also know that refusing to get up and do something about it is choosing to die.
I know depression is real.
Another side note about me, I have suffered from Clinical depression since the age of 16. I understand more than you will know, not wanting to get up.
When life throws pain at you when you already fighting most morning just to get up, well...let's just say, somedays I know it would be so much easier just to take to the bed and NEVER get up. But you have to! You have to most importantly for yourself and then for those around you.
So I want to challenge you!
I am challenging you to choose life!
Choose life, turn toward God and open your heart and your mind to the new joys in life as well as the additional sorrows.
Find what will help you dance through life. Who knows, maybe it will be dancing with me! I would love for you to come to my class! It would bring me so much joy! But, if dancing is not your thing, find what is, embrace it. It does not matter how old you are! Look at me! I started teaching dance at the ripe young age of 46! So find it, embrace it, and hold on to it!
May you too find your dance of life.
xo,
Amy
September Book Review - Three Books I Can't Stop Recommending
Three books I can't stop recommending: Hearing Jesus Speak into Your Sorrow by Nancy Guthrie, It Ends With Us, by Colleen Hoover and Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult. Click to read more on these books.
This month I have decided to start my review with the book that started this blog in motion. Here are three books I've read recently that I can't stop recommending.
Hearing Jesus Speak into Your Sorrow
Friends, this book was just what I needed. A friend who had lost her son this summer and was in pain but still had hope wrote about a book she was reading. I was in such awe of her strength and her courage, but mostly I was in awe of her love for Jesus still. I mean she had lost her son and she still had faith.
I have to be honest, when my mom died, I REALLY started questioning things. Then my friend opened up about her loss and what book she was reading and it was Hearing Jesus Speak into your Sorrow.
I ordered that day off Amazon and I am so glad I did too. The book is such a great resource for anyone who is struggling with a loss of a loved one or struggling with unanswered questions about pain and loss. If you are this person I highly suggest you order it.
I hope it brings you the strength and encouragement it brought me.
It Ends With Us
Now for my escape this month. Oh my, I was in tears at the end and honestly I could NOT put this book down.
If you like a good love story, you will like this one. It's just you find that sometimes Love comes with a price. Oh my, I did not want this book to end.
I am so proud of Lily the main character, and I know you will be too. Do yourself a favor an order the book. I promise it will not let you down!
And drum roll please...I read another one this month and just like the first two it did not disappoint....
Small Great Things
People! Do you want a book that will make you think? Do you want a book that will make you angry?
Want a book that will make you cry? Want a book that will make you smile? Want a book that will show you people can and do change?
Then this book is for you!
I mean seriously, some nights I found myself wanting to jump into the book and shake the daylights out of some of the characters and then other nights I sat up and really thought about some serious topics that are VERY real in today's world. This book had a profound effect on me and in a very good way...maybe it will on you too.
So there we have it. Three Great Books that I think you too will really love! What have you been reading that you think I might like? I would love to hear!
xo,
Amy
The More You Read, The More You Know
Why am I making it my goal to read at least two books a month? Because the more you read, the more you know!
When I decided to start this blog, I thought to myself, "I should start reading more." because in my head, this will make me a better writer, so I set a goal of two books a month and I got to work.
The truth is I LOVE to read, but with my busy life it just gets put on the wayside. I have to say I LOVE this goal of 2 books because
A. it is a doable goal and
B. it is reminding me of my passion of reading...I love it when I pick up a good book and get lost in it!
I mean come on... I get to COMPLETELY forget about my reality and I fall into someone else's! And the best thing is I get to make them look and talk however I want! I LOVE that!
I also love it when I pick up a good book that helps me when I am in a rut or a dark place. After my mom died, I was in such a dark place and my world was in slow motion. One day I read about a book on a friend's social media page, that I ran out that day got it. It has helped me so much that I have given it to at least 4 people going through some rough times. And it was after reading that book that I decided to dive in and do this blog that I had been playing with for months.
Reading for me can be very entertaining, it can be healing, and it can be a much needed escape. It can be these things for you too! Will you join me on my journey and read with me?
I promise you will find yourself lost in some amazing make believe worlds that you get to dream up all by yourself in your quiet space! Now, I can't promise that every book will be good, but I will do my best! And on the flip side if you have a book that you love, please tell me about it and I will read it as well! After all...
The more that you read the more things that you will know....the more that you learn the more places you'll go!
Dr. Seuss
xo,
Amy
Even at the DMV, there are Angels Among Us
Angels Among Us
Did you know there are really Angels everywhere?
Somedays they just pop out and are so obvious...like the story I am about to share with you.
But, sometimes we have to look for them. Other times, I firmly believe they are amongst us, we just cannot see them, or feel them, or recognize them.
Angels Among Us
Did you know there are really Angels everywhere?
Somedays they just pop out and are so obvious...like the story I am about to share with you.
But, sometimes we have to look for them. Other times, I firmly believe they are amongst us, we just cannot see them, or feel them, or recognize them.
Do you know why we can't see those angels among us?
Because some days we are so hard, so closed up, and hurting so bad, that unless the angel literally slaps you in the face. You just don't know they are there.
But I promise you they are. Look for them. Pray to the Holy Spirit, he will reveal them.
I honestly forget to do this, but days like today when I remember, well, let's just say it brings me chills and comfort.
Sons may grow into men and grow out of their toys, but in the hearts of mothers, they are still our little boys.
Today I took my 15 year old son, Will, to the DMV to get his drivers permit.
On the way there I prayed to the Holy Spirit to please let this go smoothly.
I actually begged!
You see yesterday, my husband, Trey, took Will at 7:00 am, and I received a very not-so- happy call at 11:30 am. Will had failed the eye exam.
Failed the eye exam? Yep! Failed the eye exam.
The boy who is literally legally blind in his left eye did not wear his contact.
Naturally, after sitting at the DMV for four plus hours and to going through the ENTIRE process, to get to the eye test and Will say, "I can't read that" was not ideal. Let's just say, it was not a pretty ride home.
This morning I begged the Holy Spirit, "Please throw us a bone."
I think He heard me.
We walked up to the front door, and I explained to the lady the situation from the day before, and she led us straight to the information desk.
It was there I met my Angel of the day, Miss Charlotte.
To make a long story short, once we explained the day before she literally looked Will in the eyes and said,
"Son, why did you not wear your contact?"
He explained it fell out Tuesday night at soccer practice.
She said, "Why did you just not put in another one?"
Good Question!
He explained that was his last one. She then began to lecture him on how you never wait until the last one. You always tell your Mama when you have two left!
I sat there with tears streaming down my face thinking this Lady, this Angel, really has my son's attention. He is getting the message! Thank you.
For those of you with teenagers you can appreciate this. You see when your kids pull the lazy card, or the entitled card, which happens, (You were a teenager once. You remember).
It's easy to lose your temper. Let's just say, mine is not pretty. She actually has a name: Tawanda (more about her later).
Sometimes my kids get the message with Tawanda, sometimes they do not, and all the time I have to eat crow and apologize for my behavior. That sucks! But it is reality, and I do it.
The point here is after the tension from the day before, Will was just not getting it. But this lady talked to him calmly and sternly, and I think he got it.
Will looked at me, and was so confused as to why I was crying.
Miss Charlotte quickly said, "Son, this is an emotional time for a Mom give her a hug." And he gave me a sideways hug, and she proceeded to say, "Not a sideways hug, son! A Real hug!"
Do you know what I wanted to do? I wanted to jump across that counter and Hug her! My Angel!
So you see, Angels are here. They are among us. We just need to look for them, and maybe, just maybe, on those really stressful, hurtful, lonely days, if you open up to the Holy Spirit and ask him to be with you and throw you a bone, well, he might send you a Miss Charlotte too! Try it. I dare you.
xo,
Amy
Secrets of a Tan-a-holic
My life isn't perfect, but my tan is.....
My life isn't perfect but my tan is....from lotion source.com
You guys all know by now that I am a mom and just an ordinary gal, but I failed to mention a secret about myself....well, not really a secret, because if you ever ask me about it in person I would honestly confess it....but for those of you who don't see me daily you would not know this....I am a tan-a-holic...True story! It is truly an addiction! The definition of addiction is:
the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity
synonyms:dependency, dependence, habit, problem
I DEPEND on this tan! I know...it is REDICK! But I LOVE to be tan! Let's face it, brown fat is prettier than white fat! And EVERY Friday (yes I go every friday!) when I step into that booth....it is like magic! It sprays me and BAM! I am brown AND BONUS 5 lbs lighter! Yes! I swear! 5lbs lighter! Its crazy! And yes I do know that this is all in my head! I mean come on, I just sprayed at least 1lb of solution on me.....So in all honesty I might have gained a pound! But, I have also gained this golden glow and it makes me feel a little more confident, and in this day and age I will take any dose of confidence I can get!
I mean seriously, as a mom of three boys, I am at the grocery store almost daily and I have to look at all those bombshells in the magazines on the racks while I wait to check out, all the while reading the lies these stupid magazines promise you and me! They are constantly promising me if I do this I will look like this....If I eat this I can lose 5lbs in 5 minutes....if I drink this my hair will not be gray and will grow....if I jump up and down like a monkey 10 times a day the fat will melt...If I wear this, the world will adore me....mix up this mask, put it on your face and you will look 21 again! You all know what I am talking about! IF you are like me you have bought into these lies a time or two...me personally I STILL buy into them at times when I am down....
Well guess what friends....it is all A BUNCH OF BALONEY SANDWICHES! For real! I have tried alot of the gimmics and I have learned that while some things really do work for some people, we are all made differently....and MOST things will not work. So Sad but So True.....
So the moral of this long story....I have found something that does work...for me at least...Spray Tan...it give me confidence and I do it every Friday so I can go into my weekend glowing and 5lbs lighter and eat drink and be merry! (if you want my solution I am happy to give it up to you-I promise I am ALMOST a pro at! But my skin type is different than yours so you might have to play with it a bit!)
So there you have it folks...My first confession in the books....I am a tan-a-holic and I am happy and glowing!
Here's to you finding your little confidence builder and if it is spray tanning I will see you at the Salon!
xo,
Amy
Take A Breath and Look UP...
Summer is officially over and today is the first day of school. AGH! UGH! (and insert many, many tears here). Yes I hate this day! I am not your typical mom who can't wait for this day each year... I am not the one who has the champagne chilling next to the orange juice in the frigelator! No, I am actually quite opposite.
Summer is officially over and today is the first day of school. AGH! UGH! (and insert many, many tears here). Yes I hate this day! I am not your typical mom who can't wait for this day each year... I am not the one who has the champagne chilling next to the orange juice in the frigelator (JPism for Refrigerator)! No, I am actually quite opposite. The first day brings up so many emotions for me, but the biggest one is My Boys are Growing Up! This saddens my heart. It is a wonderful time, yes, because we can reflect on how much they have matured or developed or whatever...but it is a constant reminder to me that time is running past me and before I know it they will be going to College and preparing to live the life God intended for them. Trey and I 's job will (kind of) be done.
When I meditate on that, I start to think about who will they be, what will they become, who will they marry and then I just get way ahead of myself and I have to reel myself back in and say slow down Amy! So I take a deep breath and look up and simply pray, "Lord, thank you for our beautiful boys and for having faith in us to bring them up. I pray that as this year starts, they will remain steadfast in their foundation of you and they will go out into this world and be an instrument for you. I pray Lord that their peers, their teachers, their coaches, and whomever they encounter, will see you in them. I pray they will be Leaders and not followers. I pray for their Health and for their hearts Lord and I give them to you...Please make them instruments for you and protect and guide them this School year. In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen"
Remember who you are and what God Expects you to become. You are a child of promise. You are a man of might. You are a Son of God.-Thomas S. Monson
So as this new school year starts, if you are celebrating, or if you are like me and crying, Let's not forget to take a breath and look up. In Celebration and in tears, God is here.
Happy first Day of School!
xo,
Amy
I Want to Hold Your Hand.....
If I could just hold my mom's hand one more time....
As I sit here writing, many emotions are coming up....You see my dear friend's father just passed away yesterday and the wound from my own mothers death is so fresh that this has been a very confusing and emotional thing for me as well. On the one hand I feel selfish for even bringing up my pain....I mean golly, I know exactly what my friend is experiencing and here I am talking about my pain, but I feel like I have sooo much to say for those of us going through our parents (or any loved one really) getting sick and watching them slowly fade away.... that I just want to make sure to get it all out.....So today I confess I am in pain, but I am in pain for a number of reasons. For my friends loss, for my loss, and for the fact that all of us even have to go through these losses. It just does not seem fair, but it is a fact of life....the one thing we will all do and experience is death...our own and the death of people we love.
When I lost my mom, it was like a sword piercing through the core of my soul. The pain was ruthless. I was lost and hurting. She was my BESTFRIEND and we talked daily....and she was gone.....What I learned on my journey with my mom in the end was very powerful and I want to share a little of that today with you. Some of us are getting to the age where this reality of loosing our parents is right in front of us. I hate hearing regret stories from my friends of things they would of, or should of, or wished they did differently....or sadly, did it all. So today I am going to share with you about things that I did that actually helped me as my mom progressed in her journey towards Heaven and I think they probably helped her too when Jesus reached out his hand and said, "come fly with me...Your family will be ok....."
This past week as my friend and I stayed in touch and as the nightmare of her fathers condition played out all I kept thinking about is what did I do to help myself and my mom when we were in our nightmare? It was actually very simple, but it is very hard for some to do. Some people are scared or uncomfortable around sick people. I mean all those machines and tubes and doctors and nurses...And the words that name all these crazy conditions.....the names of all these conditions are so long and foreign that you end up googling them and that is the WORST thing you can do! Trust me! Every patient is unique and Google is not your friend! You can't be strong for your family member and your family around you when you google this mess and it basically says...DEATH! You just can't! And miracles happen! I believe in them! I really do, but sometimes, miracles are not in the cards...so when they are not you got to dig in deep....You don't google! You pick up your loved ones hand! You hold their hand....you kiss their forehead....you tell them over and over again how much you love them, you hold their hand and you tell them how proud you are of them. You hold their hand and you talk about the good times...I even talked about the bad times and how we grew from those times...and you hold their hand! I keep going back to holding their hand....you know why? Because I so desperately wish I could hold my sweet mama's hand one more time...Trust me on this...when they die it is a matter of minutes and that shell of a body is just that....it is no longer your loved ones hand....It is a weird rubbery hand! You think I am kidding...I am not! It was so weird for me! Just like that she was gone and so was her loving touch....And all that was left was this weird hand that was not hers but was hers! So listen to me friends...HOLD THEIR HAND....and if you have to share their hand just touch them! I promise. I have alot of siblings and everyone of my siblings have a significant other....I get sharing...so touch them....and touch them often and whisper I love you, because I so wish I could hold her hand.....
xo,
Amy
It all started when....
Why a Blog and why now...
It all started when...
My sweet mom and bestfriend got sick...and it has been on my mind ever since...I need to blog about this....I need to write for therapy and for an outlet. So here I am today starting my journey with you and I have no idea where it will lead us, but I am hoping we will have many laughs, maybe some cries (you know a good cry is very cleansing), and who knows....maybe you can learn from some of my mistakes....maybe I can learn from you....whatever happens I know it will be an amazing journey....so grab a cup of joe and lets get to know each other. I promise it will be worth your while.
xo,
Amy
Redheads are God's way of giving the world Roses.....I love and miss you mom....Amy