Is it Odd or is it God?

Have you ever wondered, “Is it odd or is it God?” A very wise soul said this to me about four years ago when the Berry Storm hit and it has stuck with me ever since. “Is it odd or is it God?”……sit on that for a moment.

There have been so many beautiful things that have come out of our storm that hit a little over four years ago September 27, 2018. A day I will never forget. The day my life seemed to be going up in smoke, but changed for the better. 

Our marriage survived for starters and not only did it survive, it is thriving. Our children are doing well for the most part. I have found peace and serenity. A peace and serenity I can honestly say I have never felt before.

Have you ever had a time like this? A tumultuous, scary time in your life when you had no clue what the outcome would be only to find peace. Funny thing is, we are still not sure what the outcome will be in  many ways. There are still so many unknowns right now, but I have peace.

When I look back I see God had and has a huge hand in this thing called life and when I finally surrendered to Him and truly let go I started breathing again. I started living and I have not stopped. 

Was it easy? Hell no! 

Did I feel alone? Yes, at times I did. 

Was I scared? Scared to the point of being frozen sometimes.

 I remember friends coming over and feeding my kids and darn near forcing a chip with guacamole down my throat to get some kind of nutrition in me. I was frozen. 

I don’t think I danced for two solid weeks, which anyone who knows me knows is not normal.

 I stayed in bed for 8 solid days only to come down stairs and get on the couch to get under the covers just so I could hide. 

I think the last time I hid under covers was when I  was down with pneumonia and the time before that was when we lost our baby. 

Even when my mom died I got out of bed. It was a very dark time here in 2018 and 2019. But as I look back I can 100 percent say to you I would do it again to get to the miracles we have experienced.

Why do I tell you this? 

Because I know so many people who are suffering right now.

 How do I know this? 

Well, some of you share your stories.

Some I see on your faces…you don’t have to say anything. I see me, four years ago in your face, and truth be known I see pain.

 Some I hear from friends. 

Some I see on TV….the sad truth is….The world has pain. That is just reality.  

AND…

We saw pain with our Savior Jesus! Jesus had pain. 

His friends betrayed him. He was poor. He was gossiped about. People did not believe him. They mocked him. And they crucified him on the cross. They nailed his flesh and bone to the cross AFTER they drug him through the dirt and spit on him. Throwing rocks at him and laughing at him. That my friends sounds like pain. Emotional and physical.

These past years I realized that is why HE CAME! 

To lead the way for me and for you through the painful times we have experienced. To bring us closer to Him in the pain and suffering and when we learn to endure it….We learn to run with him! BUT first we have to learn to surrender to the suffering AND to the joy AND to ALL that He has for you and for me!!!!!

This is hard! Surrendering is hard. To surrender is uncomfortable. It goes against what the world says. The world has us thinking we can be in control of it all….if we work hard enough, hustle long enough, and push and fight until you have it.

 But…

 The minute you surrender….the minute you truly surrender you will have a spiritual awakening like never before. 

I promise you this. I will also make this promise to you…..

Surrendering is a daily, sometimes minute to minute deal. It does not happen just once. You have to work at it every day. 

How do I know this? 

Because some days I fail at surrendering. Somedays, I think I know what is best and how things should go and I move back into my manipulating, hustling, and controlling ways. Want to know what happens then? Chaos, confusion, exhaustion, sometimes pain, and it is never good.

So how do you begin to surrender? 

For me it starts every morning with some quiet time. I get up one hour earlier than anyone else in my family. I get my coffee and I sit with God. On days when I do not do this, well, those are the days I am less at peace. It is funny….days I get up, sit in quiet with God and really get still and surrender to Him….no matter what Satan throws at me, I feel more at peace…..

So I will ask you this, “Is it odd or is it God?”

Why don’t you try it for a month…

Get up before the rest of your family. Sit in the quiet and have a cup of coffee with God and watch what happens! 

I dare you and I know God yearns for you too!

Until Next Time,

XO,

Amy

aka~Worthy

Take Two

Have you ever started something, put it down, and then found yourself going back to it after a period of time?

Ya? Me too! And that is what brings me to today’s post.

Last year I had this big idea that I was going to take you on a “Joy Ride Through the Bible.” It was and is a great idea! I love where my heart was, but for some reason I put it down.

Well, here I am today picking it up. God has been whispering to me, “Amy, what about that devotional? Why did we put that down?”

I really don’t have the answer. My last post on this literally was in July a year ago. Nothing big or tragic happened, I just put it down.

The lesson here is that it is ok if you put something down for a period of time and decide to come back to it.

Society tells us that if we put something down and we are not in the hospital, on maternity leave, or dealing with a sick family member, then we have failed. That is simply not the case.

Let’s be real – life sometimes gets in the way! Sometimes you just need a mental health getaway or you just want to hit the pause button for a while on whatever it is.

Maybe for you it was your Network Marketing side gig, maybe it was a quilt you started, or a hobby, maybe it was a business on social, whatever it was and whatever the reason is that you put it down, the real point here is:

You owe zero explanation as to why you put it down.

AND furthermore if you want to pick it back up, permission granted by me! Do it!

So here’s to picking back up where we left off in our Joy Ride Through the Bible and here’s to you allowing yourself to pick up where you left off IF YOU WANT TO….NO EXPLANATION NEEDED!

Because….YOU MY FRIEND ARE WORTHY!

Until Next Time,

XO,

Amy

aka~Worthy

Is God Reliable?

Is God Reliable? Well there is a loaded question. One I can answer with a resounding, “Heck ya!” AND most of you know my motto: “If it is not a Heck Ya, than it is a NO!” That simple. This question for me personally is a HECK YA! Why? I would love to share this. Matter of fact I can’t wait to share this!

I was reading my bible this morning and it came to me in a whisper, “Amy, today I want you to write about the first R in suRrender.” I am not kidding either and for those who know me well, I have literally asked my bible study friends, “How do you hear God?” I heard Him! Loud and clear I heard Him! In Jeremiah 33:2-3, which is the chapter I am on in my SOLO online devotional group.

Oddly enough my SOLO girls skipped this chapter, which always throws this recovering Catholic into a bit of a tisy, but this morning it did not. It was clearly just God and me. And I want to share how it went down because I still have chills.

The Verse goes like this from The Message:Bible, “This is God’s Message, the God who made earth, made it livable, and lasting, known everywhere as God. ‘Call to me and I will answer you, I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.’ “ Jeremiah 33:2-3~

Pretty powerful verse. The way our study goes is you read the verse then you move to the THINK portion of the study. In the think portion of our study it asked me what word or phrase settled deeply in my soul and why? For me it was, “Call to me and I will answer you”….not only will God answer me he will tell me marvelous and wonderful things that I could never figure out on my own. I sat there in that because it was obvious why the verse stood out. Call to me and I will answer you. Like a child who calls to a parent and the parent comes running. Simple right? This verse is a guarantee that God hears me and will answer me. WRONG! Amy Berry’s mind started reeling….what about all those times of pain and suffering and all the bad that has happened to my family lately God? Why death God? Why cancer in kids or cancer in general? Why Covid? Why racism? Why suppression? Why friends against friends due to political hot topics? Why bad cops? Why bad people? Why God? That is where my mind went……and it was not pretty.

Are you there God? What is happening in this world? Can I rely on you? These are real questions he wants to hear from us. Ask him….he is there for you.

What did I do? Did I get angry? Maybe a little, but I did what anyone should do when there are questions. I dug deeper. I asked more questions. I got to the bottom of Jeremiah and what I learned was powerful for me and I hope it is for you too.

Now I am going to assume most of you are like me and have no clue of the context so I will map it out. If you do, bare with me. I keep things real simple for my simple mind. So Jeremiah was a prophet who back in the day was put in prison or went into hiding quite a bit for preaching about God and about sins and what can happen when we sin. Pain, disappointment, destruction, you know bad stuff. A lot of people thought of him as the weeping prophet, but in reality Jeremiah knew God! He knew God had a plan for us, one that we would prosper with no pain only hope and a beautiful future. Jeremiah was hopeful! He was a believer in God and he thought it was a personal matter and that each person had to take responsibility for their own personal relationship with God. Very much like today, but he preached it to the rooftops and was put in prison or was in hiding for it very unlike today. Jeremiah understood this: Religion must be deep within EACH individuals hearts and lived out in their lives. Not a group of people or a building….religion for Jeremiah was personal.

Good stuff huh….I think so, but it dawned on me. Jeremiah was in prison, alone, very much like I have been lately. Only my prison is not bars. Mine is hopelessness like his, doubtful like his, wondering if God forgot me and my family and I am sure like Jeremiah felt. And…..God visited Jeremiah in a vision just like he did me today in my mind. I just did not get the vision, I got it in a thought and a sense of peace. He promised Jeremiah he would answer and he has promised me. Maybe not how I want but, he knows best. Just like a parent with a teenager who asks to do something and we know what is best. Or a child who wants a toy and we say no because we know they don’t need that. God knows what is best. Do I trust that 100 percent. If I am being honest…..No, I do have a little doubt….that is the control freak in me….but I desperately 100 percent want to trust it. That is a start.

I relate to Jeremiah a lot really. He is alone in a prison and I feel alone a lot lately. He is behind bars watching people have fun, go on with life, some sinning and getting away with it and he is suffering and truly believes in God. If I am being honest I have felt this way since 2017. Even before The Storm hit my family. The closer to God I get the more imprisoned I feel, but yet I also feel this peace I have never had. It is so hard to explain. I see myself stuck in this “New Life” while others get to continue doing what they do. Right, wrong, or indifferent this is just how I feel. Maybe it is because I am growing in areas I needed to grow. I know I wanted to heal from pain, from suffering, from disappointment….Oh Lawd the disappointments! Sometimes it feels like one storm after another hits and I am trying desperately to trust and grow and then BOOM! Just like that a morning like this morning happens and I feel God. I hear God. And I relate to someone from biblical times and I know God has a plan. Do I know what it is? No! Do I know what he is working on for me behind the scenes and do I know in my heart of hearts he will answer me when I cry out. Yes and no!

No I don’t know what is happening behind the scenes, but yes I know he wants me to call on him. I know he is RELIABLE and if I SuRrender to him and obey he has a beautiful plan for me and for my family. A plan to prosper me and my family, not harm us, and a plan to give us hope and a future.

This morning God came to me! And I have hope!!!!! Do you? He is RELIABLE! AND YOU ARE WORTHY OF HIS LOVE AND FUTURE HE HAS IN STORE FOR YOU. Do you believe that?

Until Next Time,

XO,

Amy

Thank You For The Storm

We have less than 40 days until 2019 comes to a close. When I look back on 2019 I am so proud! Proud of me, proud of Trey, proud of our boys, just proud!!!!! And oh so grateful!

I think most of you know by now that I hate new years resolutions and I like to do themes or words for the year. This year my theme was GUTS! To see why click here.

GUTS-The informal meaning is that the word guts is used in reference to a feeling or reaction based on an instinctive emotional response rather than considered thought.

When I look back on my family’s last year we lived the true meaning of guts! And I could not be more proud of each individual in my family or more grateful for this period of time. Would I do it again? That is one question I need to really ponder because the truth is we came out so much better and I am so thankful. Truly thankful. We are stronger, we are more resilient, we are more compassionate, we seek to understand each other, we listen, and we have respect for one another. Was that missing before? Maybe, but, I can honestly say each one of us has had a transformation for the better and we have all become better at serving one another. What a beautiful experience for a family.

Thanksgiving 2018…..

Times are tough and through it we are each learning to see what it is God is wanting to do with us during this unsure season. We have a lot of unknowns before us, but we are remembering to keep God at the front of it all. Whether it is a decision on a college, a job, a teacher, a counselor, to go with a group of friends, to go to the party, to say yes or say no, boundaries…..whatever it is we are ALL getting better at looking to God and relying on Him. Truly relying on Him. And you know what…..that takes GUTS! True Guts.

It’s hard to rely on someone you cannot see or you cannot touch. You can talk to God, but He is not going to talk back to you in the traditional way. Our family has learned to do this. We have learned to rely on God. Are we great at it? No! Were we somewhat forced to? Yes! Do we have room for improvement? Yes! Of course. Faith takes practice because fears take hold and when they do it is so easy to slip back into old behaviors, but now that my family as a whole has learned the beauty of turning our will over to God we can remind each other of this gently and compassionately. We can remind each other of the miracle of this past year and we can have hope and peace. For this I am forever grateful.

So as I look back on the past 365 days, I look back in awe and I am so grateful to God for the disaster He brought us to and through so that we could be the family He made us to be. What miracle it is to say Thank You for the Storm.

Happy Thanksgiving My Friends.

XO,

Amy

You are Loved

It’s February and Love is in the air EVERYWHERE! Everywhere you look there are hearts and although I am not particularly fond of the idea of Valentines Day, you can read about that here, I do love seeing all the hearts! I really do! It probably helps that my logo is hearts and my mission is for all to feel worthy of love!

You are worthy!

What does it take to feel Worthy of Love?

Which brings me to a big question. What does it take to feel worthy of love? That is a pretty deep question and I think I know the answer to what, but the how can be hard for some people. Let me explain…..One thing I have learned these past few months is that not all of us are as lucky as I was to be raised in a home where God was and is love. Some people were raised in homes where God was never spoken of and others were raised in a home where God was not loving at all, but very judgmental. It is easy to see why some people don’t know God or even worse, don’t WANT to know or believe in God. Shoot all you have to do is turn on the TV and watch the news! All you see is the ridiculous fights among people, countries, families, friends, and let’s not forget all the evil, hatred, and natural disasters. If I am being honest, and I am, it is easy for me to question God sometimes. I have been known to get downright mad at God. I personally think He is ok with that…. especially when I keep the dialog going. Yes, I converse with God, often! Sometimes it is heated, sometimes it is on my knees in awe, and other times it is on my knees is desperation. He is my friend and we have a beautiful relationship. One of love, forgiveness, acceptance, and understanding. He wants that with you too! I promise He does.

Believe it or not, sometimes when things are going wrong in my life I find myself questioning God and even asking Him, “God, what I have I done to deserve this?” It is in those desperate moments I realize that I have lost my image and my belief of who God is-A loving God. When this happens I drop to me knees and open up to Him and really tell Him how scared I am. I find myself grasping at things to thank Him for and do you know what happens? I honest to God, no pun intended, find myself feeling his healing love, his warmth, and his presence. Afterwards I tend to forget all the pain I felt and begin to see the good that came from the pain. It is then that our relationship grows even stronger. How crazy is that?

So what does it take to feel worthy of love? I think it takes a relationship with God. I do know this can be so hard for a lot of people due to a lot of different things. I know for some doubt comes easily and belief is so difficult. My prayer is that you find that personal relationship and understanding of who God is and how much He loves you. I know this will take time and for some it may never happen. That makes me sad. I really want you to feel that presence that I feel and know you are loved right where you are. God is not one to say, “Let’s meet in the middle.” No, He will love you where you are and accept you with the most extraordinary compassion you have ever felt- on good days and on very, very, very bad days. I want you to feel this. It is such a beautiful feeling and so freeing to know you do not have to earn God’s love or work for it-you just need to open up and be receptive to it.

HOW?

You might be asking yourself how? Truth be known, I really hope you are asking, “How Amy?”, and if you are not I hope you will at least try what I am suggesting. It is very simple. All you have to do is pray for greater faith today. That is it. If you don’t like the word pray then all you have to do is say what I am suggesting. It is a simple sentence to God. You don’t even have to say God in the sentence, because honestly He knows and He loves you already….He is just waiting on you. So….all you do is say, “I need and want greater faith today.” Maybe just maybe, slowly but surely you will begin to see and feel the miracles that are happening to you and around you. Slowly but surely, maybe just maybe, you will begin to feel the love, compassion, and understanding God has for you. It is really a beautiful experience and one I hope you can find for yourself. Because I promise you this, once you do your world will change. No it will not be easy street, but it will have a peace and serenity about it that is unexplainable, but very real. This is my prayer for you…..that you will open your eyes to things you have not seen and cannot see, your ears to things you need to hear, and your heart to the love that is waiting for you. Will you give this sentence a try? “I want greater faith today.” God is waiting patiently and when you are ready He will be too! Ready for you right where you are in this crazy, angry, evil, yet oh so beautiful world! Ready to love you because you my friend are worthy!

These are my amazing parents. They taught me that God is Love and I am Loved. You are Loved too!

Until next time,

XO,

Amy

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