College Bound
It’s that time of year. So many of you will be sending your kiddos off to college for the first time. I remember sending my first born, Will, like it was yesterday.
I was a mess.
We were still wearing masks, there were so many unknowns, and I was expected to send him to another state 5 hours away and be ok with it. I was not, but I got there, and you will too.
This is such an exciting time for your kiddo and for you really. What you will find is your relationship will change.
Somedays the relationship will feel more mature, some days you will be hitting your head up against a wall wondering where you went wrong, and other days you will be thinking to yourself, “I guess he just has to learn the hard way, because, I KNOW I TAUGHT HIM BETTER.”
AND
Sadly there will be those days where you are on the floor in fear and worry, but you will get through it mama and the sun will come up! I promise!
Your emotions and feelings will be all over the place. The one thing I can tell you is: If you made it to this place, the place where your kiddo is earnestly ready to leave the nest, you did good!
That was your job.
Keep them alive and get them ready to fly.
So give yourself a pat on the back and maybe do what I did. Sit down and write your child a letter. A letter from the heart. You will find it is very healing and they will go away knowing how proud you are and how loved they are. There is nothing better than those two feelings!!!!! Here is my letter to Will back in 2020. I still get choked up reading it and I still stand by all the advice given that day. So Will, if you are reading this, click here and remember what I said. LOVE YOU MOST SAID IT LAST! LYMSIL, Mom (And JP, YOU TOO! This all applies to you as well my love! And remember: Shine Bright! The Stage and The Camera need your light!!!! So does this world! IWALY)
To all my moms reading this: YOU DID GOOD AND YOU ARE WORTHY!
XO,
Amy
aka~Worthy
19 Years Ago Today
Dear Will,
Holy Cow! 19 years ago today I became a mom. Not just any mom….your mom! What a gift you are, even to this day, to your father and me. 19 years ago today you came into this world. 19 years ago today you breathed your first breath, made your first sound, and 19 years ago today I held you in my arms and called you son.
This is the first year you are not here with me on your birthday. Will, I have some questions for you….and this is a test…a test to see if you even read this and a test for me……(Ok that just made me laugh! But I need you to answer these questions.)
Have I been a good mom?
Do I make you proud?
Do you believe in me?
Will you have been an incredible son! You ARE a leader! You never disappoint….yes, we have had challenges and yes, I have questioned some of your decisions, or behaviors, but I know who you are at your core. At your core, you are a good person. You have a heart for Christ. You have values. You have a hard work ethic. You are a leader and you are my firstborn. Do you make me proud? Oh, my stars….over the moon proud! Goo goo proud! Will Berry, I am so proud that you are who you are and the thing I am most proud about it is that YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! That, my son, is half the battle! Never lose that! Do I believe in you? Will Berry, I believe in YOU! I believe you can and will be whatever you choose! I know you will choose wisely! I know it! But one thing I want to say is….make your choice with your heart….not with what you think will make you the most money! YOU BE YOU AND DO YOU! Go for what you are passionate about Will and the rest will fall into place. LOOK UP to God….ask Him for guidance. He created you and He has a purpose for you. Follow His lead my son and you will be blessed abundantly! I promise you that!
Happy Birthday, My Boy!
I love YOU so!
LYMSIL!
Mom
College Bound!-A Mother's Advice To Her Son
A mother’s advice to her son leaving for college…
It happened so fast. It was just yesterday that I found out I was pregnant with you and now you are going to college. Just like that, you are gone, and boy does it feel like you are going to be gone forever.
Realistically I know this is not true, God willing it is not true, but I can’t help but shake the feeling that you are ready to fly. I know this is a good thing, but my heart hurts so bad, yet at the same time I am so excited to see what the future holds for you. Is it possible to be in both emotions? Gut wrenching sadness and excitement? I say yes! Because I am living in it right now.
Will, your future is bright! How do I know this? Well, I am going to give Dad and I a HUGE pat on the back here and say because we did right by you! I know we did. How do I know this? Because we did what we were called to do by our creator. We loved you from the moment you were formed in my womb. We protected you. We raised you to know Jesus. We were there for you and I know for a fact the Holy Spirit is within you. How? Because I see it! I see it daily in your acts of kindness and in your thoughts and in your dreams. Why do I tell you this? So you know you are NEVER alone! EVER! And we are just a phone call or a car ride away. Know that! Remember your safe word? You are never to old to use it! Trust me on that! I will ALWAYS coming running!
This is going to be one of the BEST TIMES of your life! Soak it up! Cherish it! Enjoy this ride, BUT, be smart. Work hard AND play hard. This is kind of a balancing act. Balance to me is a lie society tells us we can achieve. I disagree. I feel that there will be times where you find yourself playing pretty darn hard and YOU, my son, will have to figure out how to fit in the work hard part. You ALWAYS have a choice! Remember life is ALL about choices. Every choice you make has a consequence so make sure you choose wisely and choose carefully.
You will mistakes. We all do! Lord knows I have made MORE than my fair share! What you do with those mistakes will define who you are, the mistake itself will not. You can always pivot and remember, EVERYTHING IS FIGURE OUT ABLE!!!! Trust me on this. You just might have to get creative with the solution!
Speaking of solutions….try to always be a part of the solution. One of the biggest mistakes people make is staying in the problem. Save yourself a lot of time and energy and figure out how to be in the solution. My dad taught me this and it saved me so much anxiety. But, don’t let me fool you….this is a hard one…sometimes we just want have that pity party and be in the problem. Beautiful thing here is YOU are in charge of YOU and you get decide when you no longer want to be in the problem, but in the solution. Being in the solution will automatically put you ahead of the game and you will grow so much from it.
Another huge way to grow is to seek out people who are different, Will. Truthfully, you have always been good at this, but remember you learn from others and when someone is different we can learn so much more about life. So much goodness comes from others which can and will change your life for the better and help you grow into a loving and compassionate person. Something this world needs more of. Speaking of…Be the good! Always be the good.
Get to know your professors. This can make or break a grade. Trust me! I know first hand. And did you know your mama graduated with a 3.95, which back in the olden days was what a 4.6 is for you guys! So there is A LOT of goodness that comes when you get to know your professors, your deans, and anyone who is involved with your school. TRUST me! Not to mention, practicing the art of getting to know others and being truly interested in their lives is a super quality to have out in the real big world. It takes you out of yourself and into others. And that is what people want the most. No matter who they are. They want to be seen, heard, and respected.
Which leads me to my last bit of advice….CALL YOUR MAMA! I NEED to be seen, heard, and loved. I need to know you still need me, even if it is just to ask me where to go to buy socks. I need to know you see me and you adore me….so call me! Please call me!
OK I lied! One last thing…you can pivot on any decisions you make. If you find that what you are doing does not light you up, just pivot! It is not worth doing if it does not light your soul on fire! You do You Will because the world needs the human being you are!!!!!
Dad and I gave you roots and now we must give you your wings!
This is your life Will! It is yours to create! So write the story of your dreams and go after them! Go after them with all your heart! You are AMAZING! You are TALENTED! You are READY! Your mountain is waiting! So get on your way!
LYMSIL
AND, always remember: BE A LEADER, NOT A FOLLOWER. DO YOUR BEST. BERRY’S NEVER QUIT! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
LYMSIL!
Mom (and Dad)
PS….KEEP YOUR KNEES TOGETHER! Love, Grubba
Letter To My Senior
Dear Will,
As I write this letter I am filled with so much emotion. Fear, sadness, confusion, but most of all love and pride. You are the one who gave me the title of Mother. You are the one to say the word “Mama” first. You were the first to cause me real fear when you got sick. You were the first to show me that love without even knowing someone is real. I loved you the very first moment I found out I was going to have you!!!! I had no picture, all I had was a double line. And I fell in love. So this letter is full of love.
But with love that grand comes a magnitude of sadness when you are worried and fearful for the one you love so much. I am so sad because this was suppose to be your year! Your last year to play soccer. Your year to go on a senior spring break trip without me or dad. Your Senior Prom. Your year as president of the Art Club and whatever else the rest of your senior year had to offer you. The last year to be with your closest buds before you all went your separate ways out into the world. This was what you had worked so hard for these past 13 years and it was all taken from you and the rest of the Seniors across the world due to a global pandemic.
As I sit here writing this I realize that a lot of your classmates were born around September 11, 2001. 911….Funny, you all came into this world at such a painful time in history and we are going to send you all out into the world at such a painful time in history. I tend to think there is a divine plan around this. God does not make mistakes. There is no mistake in this. As a matter of fact I think there will be true leaders made from this. And I think you will be one of those leaders!
But, that still does not take away the pain, confusion, or sheer madness you and your friends might be feeling. And to that I say, feel it! Let yourselves feel it. It is real. The pain is real. You have been robbed of a precious time in your life. An important time. One filled with so much anxiety, excitement,and joy and now all it is sadness and loss. It is o.k. to grieve this loss. With grief comes all kinds of emotions. Be there for one another. Listen to one another. Sit in silence with one another. Cry with one another. Of course as I write this I realize you will have to do this via face time, zoom, snap chat, or whatever technological way you all do these things now. And that in and of itself is so sad!!!!! But all the more reason to show you how resilience you all are! You are so tech savvy and so creative and innovative you all will make a beautiful thing out of this terrible situation! I just know it!!!!
It hurts my heart it has to be this way. When we were on our walk and you were talking about how you would never step foot into your high school again and how it hurt you to know you may never see Mr. Fullwood….well let’s just say I had to choke back the tears.
I remember being a senior. One of the most exciting times of my life. I remember all the emotions. All the gatherings and parties. I remember all the planning for college. AND I remember crying in my theater teachers arms, Mr. Cody, about how sad I was it was over. But the difference between my senior year and yours is my senior played out how it was suppose to….Yours was taken from you like a thief in the night. I remember being scared about what it would look like going forward, sad that I might not ever see some of the people I had seen daily for years, and sad about all the familiar comfortable things my childhood brought me. He played a song for me, one that I will never forget. Some Good Things Never Last, by Barbara Streisand. The words in the end go like this:
We’ll live for the future
We’ll learn from the past
No matter how hard we try
Some good things never last
Why can’t they last?
I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know what tomorrow holds. What I do know is you are creative. You are smart. You will all find a way to band together with your friends and make the best out of this awful circumstance. And through this terrible circumstance you and your friends will be all the stronger for it which in turn will bless this world and our future.
I am so sad for you Will and all your friends and classmates. But as I close this letter know that I close it in hope! Hope because you and your classmates are our countries future! I am excited to see how you all will make the most of this situation and that in and of itself will provide hope for our country and our future! You all are leaders and this is STILL YOUR YEAR!!!!
All My Love,
Mom
The Slow Break UP
Dear Will,
Today you turn 18! I can hardly wrap my head around this and I can assure you I cannot wrap my heart around it. I know in my head I should be so happy, but I would be lying if I told you I was. Why? Because my heart is crushing inside. Crushing because you are becoming a man and I don’t think I am prepared for this and I don’t think there is a rule book out there to help me get ready.
Where is my little boy?
Miss Rainey sent me a post about this, just this the other day. Thank God I waited until later in the day to open it because I was a blubbering idiot by the time I was through listening to it. However, everything the post touched on talked to me. It is a slow break up watching you and your brothers grow up and become men. Yes it is the natural order, but no it does not feel good. And YES I feel so selfish because there are too many moms out there who do not even get the chance to experience this day because their sweet children have left this earth and have wings now. I know that all too well after all my work with kiddos with cancer back in the day.
Did you know Will that my dream use to be to have a camp for terminally ill kids? Did you know you got to experience that with me when you were only 7 months old? You and I flew to Aspen, Colorado to spread the ashes of one of my amazing kids at the camp I use to go to with kiddos with all kinds of special needs. That was my last time to go to Challenge Aspen. When Lea died, a part of me died, so I know how selfish I am being by not wanting to let you go. Lea was not even my own, but she sure felt like it. I am so grateful to Cindy and Steve and all the time they allowed me with her…..but how selfish can I be when I have experienced so many kids like Lea not making it to this stage in life?
Sweet Lea!
It’s funny too because I cannot speak from experience on this with girls, but I sure can with boys, and you have already stuck your foot outside the nest if you will. What do I mean by this? I mean, the minute you and your brother hit high school and started experiencing real independence you truly just used our home for room and board. I don’t mean this in a negative way either. I mean this in the way that maybe that is how God designed it. To make it easier on us mamas with young men.
So son, today, to the world you are no longer a boy, but a man…..I think for me a part of you will always be my little boy, but I am so incredibly proud of the young man you have become. I am in awe of your ability to stand up for what you believe in, your creativity, your work ethic, your ability with others and how kind you are, your love and patience with your father and I, your ability to forgive me quickly when I have made a mistake in this job of motherhood, your uncanny way of knowing when I am struggling emotionally and the way you are there for me, your patience with my mom when she was alive and now my father, your love for your brothers, the way you stand up for John Paul and who he chooses to love, your courage to start your own business, your grit and determination with your business, your willingness to be open and honest with your father and I, and the courage to always speak to us, even when the topic is ugly, and your sense of wonder for the world amazes me. YOU MY BOY AMAZE ME! You will go far my love and you will do well. You can be and do anything you want to Will Berry! I believe in you!
So you growing up and “breaking up with me” means I have done my job…..It hurts like hell though, even though this is what I want and what you need. I want for you to grow up I also know I am capable and will let you go because my biggest desire is for you and your brothers to have a healthy, wonderfully beautiful, fulfilled life. Well, the only way you guys can do that is by leaving the nest.
Just remember Will, I will always be your mom and I will always love! No matter what I will always love you. But I am no longer the sun in which you spin around…..So while I learn our new relationship and how and what is appropriate to express my love for you, please know son I am so proud of you and I love you to the moon and back and fifty million times over!
Love you most said it last!!!!!
Happy Birthday Will!
LYMSIL,
Mom
Seventeen Years Later
Dear Will,
One year ago…..
I cannot believe today you turn 17! It feels like just yesterday I was writing to you about turning 16! Where has the time gone? I honestly do not know, but what I do know is it has gone by way too fast! I need it to slow down. This time next year we will be deciding on colleges and that just hurts my heart yet it ignites so much excitement too! Weird how I can have both emotions!
I am so excited to see what the future holds for you because I know it will be bright! Whatever you choose to do I know you will do it well! From an early age we have tried to instill in you a few things and I see the connections happening. It is such an awesome sight to see.
First, we taught you about the number one priority in your life. God. Will, seeing you in your walk with our Lord gives me so much joy. Thank you! Your walk with God gives me something else too! It makes me want to be closer to our Father in Heaven. Thank you for that! Thank you for showing me what it means to serve and to serve with joy. I love your servants heart and I love watching it grow.
Second, we taught you Berry’s Never Quit. I know as of recent this has really hit home for you and son I am so proud of how you are practicing this lesson. I know it is so hard, especially when you are 17 and all you want is to hang out with friends and create your art, but you are showing so much maturity. Will, you are handling situations, not quitting, and keeping your word even when it is not fun, painful, or just a plain pain in the ass! Way to go! I can see you a year from now looking back and being so proud of yourself, being so confident, and being able to say, “Man, I am proud of who I am! I am a man of my word and I am amazing!” Because Will you are amazing!
Lastly, Will your commitment to this family is something my heart is swelling with pride over. It has not been an easy year for us and you have been a rock for me. Thank you. Thank you for being patient, loving, forgiving, kind, compassionate, and open with me. Thank you for believing in me and believing in Dad even when we might have not believed in ourselves. Thank you for being patient and gentle at times when I was not so patient and gentle. Thank you for being forgiving of me when I needed it and for being so compassionate about it. Most of all, thank you for opening up your heart, your fears, your dreams, and yourself with me. That is truly a gift I will hold in my heart forever, even in eternity. Our talks, though hard at times, have really meant the world and seeing the world through your eyes, your heart, and your soul…..well it is just the most beautiful sight to behold.
The world is your palette Will and God has given you so many gifts to use to continue His Kingdom building and I know you will use them wisely. The future is bright Will! Especially because you are in it and you are Worthy!
All My Love,
Mom
Hello, World!
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Dear Will
Dear Will,
Tomorrow you start your junior year of high school! Are you kidding me? I cannot believe this! It seems like just yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital! I cannot believe how fast the time has gone and I really cannot believe in two short years you will be off to college! That is just insane and this mama is having a hard time wrapping her head around that fact. I will get there, it will just take me some time!
In the meantime, I wanted to take a moment today to tell you and the world how proud I am of the young man you are becoming. You have such a kind spirit and your soul is so pure. I learn so much about compassion from you. Thank you for this son! I will never forget the day you made sandwiches and took them to hand out to the homeless. I had no idea where that came from and I still don't, but I know I like what I see. I see Jesus in you. I hope that never changes.
Summer of 2018 mission trip
I also see fire in you. Whatever your interests are you go at them with passion. I know you hate when I say this to you son, but you cannot coach that into someone. You cannot coach your passion towards peoples feelings into someone, you cannot coach your love of soccer and the game into someone, you cannot coach your protective nature towards your brothers into someone. Son you are amazing! I hope you never let anyone or anything squelch your fire. You are beautiful!
As you enter into your junior year son, I hope you enter into it knowing how proud your father and I are of you. I hope you enter into it with an open mind and open eyes and I hope you enter into with a desire to continue to keep your fire burning and continue to do good. Peer pressure is real and peer pressure is hard, I know I succumbed to it once or twice. Just remain true to yourself Will and to Jesus and you will achieve more things than you ever imagined! I know because I see it in you! I cannot wait to watch your story unfold. God has big plans for you! I just know it!
I hope this year is the best year yet son! I can't wait to see what God has in store! Remember-be a leader not a follower and Berry's NEVER quit!
All my love,
Mom
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