A Worthy Woman
After much reflection on my past decades I am sitting in my 40’s and I am sitting in disbelief, awe, and what the hell….to be quite frank.
My 40’s started off with a bang when I found out we were pregnant with our sweet Graeme bear. Who knew you could get pregnant after 40 AND after the doctors told you it is out of the question? I guess God knew because here I am 9 years later with an almost 9 year old! So, long decade short, my forty’s started off with a miracle! And as I sit here today with a difficult situation happening around me I know in my heart my 40’s will end in a miracle. The road to that miracle might not be smooth, but it will be a miracle.
This is us….all of us….so much love and so many miracles right here.
Forty for me has been a decade of growth. Growth in personal development, growth in love, growth in compassion, growth in strength, growth in perseverance, growth in gratitude, and growth in my faith.
Each area of growth has been a long time coming when I look back on my past. Most areas have been easy to grow in and honestly natural. A few however have been a struggle. My faith for instance has honestly been difficult. Some days I find myself rocking my relationship with God and other days I find myself cussing him out. True story! Some days I find myself excited to wake up and spend time with him, some I find on my knees begging him to listen, and, if I am being honest with you, which I always am, sometimes like yesterday I find myself yelling, “Fuck you God! I am out the Devil wins!” This my friends is no lie and my poor mom is rolling over in her grave that I admitted that and that I said that word, and typed it! Sorry Mom….Rest in Peace. I made up with God today…. for right now at least. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Point is sometimes growth is two steps forward and ten back. What you do in the backslide is what is important. Thank God with all the other areas of growth I usually snap out of it and keep on keeping on….something I have gotten fairly good at over the decades.
As I look back on each decade I see something about myself that makes sense to who I am today. I look at the good times and the bad times and I realize it has ALL molded me into who I am right now. A strong, confident, tenacious, persistent, sometimes stubborn, compassionate, honest, worthy woman. And I am proud of her…..I love her…..
A Worthy Woman…..
