A Worthy Woman
After much reflection on my past decades I am sitting in my 40’s and I am sitting in disbelief, awe, and what the hell….to be quite frank.
My 40’s started off with a bang when I found out we were pregnant with our sweet Graeme bear. Who knew you could get pregnant after 40 AND after the doctors told you it is out of the question? I guess God knew because here I am 9 years later with an almost 9 year old! So, long decade short, my forty’s started off with a miracle! And as I sit here today with a difficult situation happening around me I know in my heart my 40’s will end in a miracle. The road to that miracle might not be smooth, but it will be a miracle.
This is us….all of us….so much love and so many miracles right here.
Forty for me has been a decade of growth. Growth in personal development, growth in love, growth in compassion, growth in strength, growth in perseverance, growth in gratitude, and growth in my faith.
Each area of growth has been a long time coming when I look back on my past. Most areas have been easy to grow in and honestly natural. A few however have been a struggle. My faith for instance has honestly been difficult. Some days I find myself rocking my relationship with God and other days I find myself cussing him out. True story! Some days I find myself excited to wake up and spend time with him, some I find on my knees begging him to listen, and, if I am being honest with you, which I always am, sometimes like yesterday I find myself yelling, “Fuck you God! I am out the Devil wins!” This my friends is no lie and my poor mom is rolling over in her grave that I admitted that and that I said that word, and typed it! Sorry Mom….Rest in Peace. I made up with God today…. for right now at least. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Point is sometimes growth is two steps forward and ten back. What you do in the backslide is what is important. Thank God with all the other areas of growth I usually snap out of it and keep on keeping on….something I have gotten fairly good at over the decades.
As I look back on each decade I see something about myself that makes sense to who I am today. I look at the good times and the bad times and I realize it has ALL molded me into who I am right now. A strong, confident, tenacious, persistent, sometimes stubborn, compassionate, honest, worthy woman. And I am proud of her…..I love her…..
A Worthy Woman…..
Until Next Time,
XO,
Amy
a worthy woman
First Came Love....Nine Years Later Came Marriage
Amy and Trey sitting in a tree…K I S S I N G! First came love and nine damn years later came marriage and wham bam 12 months later came Will in a baby carriage!
Welcome home Will Berry!!!!
This is LITERALLY how my 30’s started, but first we had to make it through a plane crash! And when I say “we” I mean Trey! You heard that right! In May of 2000 my amazing husband survived a plane crash while doing work ups for the US Navy off the coast of California.
Would you believe he was out of the hospital in less than 8 hours! So this young, dumb, in love, fiance, thought nothing of it and kept on planning their wedding and never thought twice about it until recently. BIG mistake. The brain is a funny thing and trauma can resurface in odd and weird ways! But, hey! That is my forties and we are in my thirties!
My thirties were miraculous in that I became a wife and a mom! We got married on December 30, 2000, moved to California, and two short weeks later, Trey was off the coast of California preparing to go overseas for six months. We lived in a house on Silver Strand Beach with 5 other guys in which Trey’s squadron dubbed it the snake ranch with a flower. I have to say looking back I think to myself, “What the heck was I thinking?” But, I also have to say I had a blast with those guys!!!!! We cooked together, hung out, watched Survivor, and just had a blast. I never was alone and I never felt unsafe in my new surroundings. It was like I had four body guards and Trey! It was awesome! They took care of me and welcomed me with open arms.
In February, just before Trey got sent overseas, we FINALLY got to have our honeymoon. One thing is for sure. When you are a military spouse you learn real quick to be flexible and I think that was a great lesson for me. I had to learn to bend and realize that honeymoons might not happen in the traditional sense, the day after the wedding, Christmas for us might not be spent on December 25th, or birthdays and anniversaries might not be spent on their actual day, and I learned it was o.k. My life did not crumble. Just typing this I realize I probably learned a lot about that while working with my kids with cancer because it never bothered me and when we did finally get to be together I just really appreciated the time and was so grateful for it.
Trey left in March of 2001 for six months and I got to meet him over in Australia for a few weeks. My dear friend Dana came with me and we had a ball. We flew into Sydney and met the ship the next day and the adventure began! Australia is such a neat place and Trey and I have so many wonderful memories there, but the biggest memory we have is Sydney, Australia is where Will Berry was conceived! Yep! On the US Constellation! (That is a story for another day!) I use to kid with Will and tell him if he was a girl I would have named him Connie, but that is not true, I was going to name him Sydney if he was a girl, but it is a mute point, because, well, because he is a boy and he is my Will!!!!!
I had no idea we had conceived Will until about a month after I was back in the states and I was so sick! So sick, I came back to Texas and my mother in law and mother had to take care of me. I had terrible hyperemesis, but again, looking back God knew what he was doing because I got to be here to spend more time with Leah. Matter of fact Leah was with me the day I found out the sex of the baby. I remember that day like it was yesterday. When the nurse announced it was a boy, she got up and bolted from the room. Poor thing was so sad. She desperately wanted me to have a girl so I could name her after her and thank God for my mother in law’s quick thinking because she immediately said, “Well, his name will be William which is the male form of Leah!” Leah bought it and life was good!!!!!
In September of 2001 Trey called to say he was coming home from the middle east!!!!! He told me he was flying home a few days earlier than the ship. I was so excited! It was September 10, 2001 and I was back in California waiting for Trey to get home! He landed around 5 that afternoon, we had dinner with his grandparents, aunt, and mom and then we went home to be alone. We had our own little place on Silver Strand now and it was right on the beach. I remember waking up VERY early the next morning to our phones ringing and I clearly remember the sun coming up over the water and I could hear Trey’s father’s voice saying, “Turn on the T.V.”. We did and well, you know what was happening. I remember being so scared. The phone started ringing again and it was Trey’s Commanding Officer who was still en route on the U.S. Constellation telling Trey to pack his bags they were turning around and going back. This was a terrorist attack and this meant war. I was devastated and if I am being honest I truly was thinking, “This is it. My husband is going to war and is going to die. He will never meet our child.” Needless to say I was a mess.
Trey thankfully did not have to go back to the middle east, but he did fly patrol over New York and Washington DC, which for me gave me comfort because he was state side. I am not sure why, because they took those towers down with all those innocent people in it and that was state side, but for whatever reason I was able to cope. I am thankful for that.
Will Berry came 6 weeks early on December 9, 2001 and I became a mom! What a true miracle! And by January 30, 2002 we were moving across the country to Mississippi. What a whirlwind! We moved to Meridian, Mississippi in February 2002 and Meridian is where my sweet John Paul Berry was born! February 21, 2003. Yet another miraculous day in my life! And he too came 6 weeks early!!!!!
Welcome home John Paul Berry!
So in Meridian I found myself the mom of two active little boys, 14 months a part. A military pilot’s wife and it is when I officially left the Catholic Church. This was big for me! Growing up my father was my Sunday School instructor, we were in Church every Sunday, and people use to kid that my dad thought he was the Pope and my mom was like a nun! She said her rosary daily, almost until the day she died, and if something big was going on in your life she would not hesitate to pull out a Novena. For those of you who are not Catholic or a recovering Catholic like myself, a Novena is basically a thirty day prayer, but it is intense. So leaving the church was hard for me. However, we found the most amazing Church in Meridian. Northpointe Presbyterian Church. What an amazing church and what an amazing community.
Bob Bates was our Pastor and he and his sweet wife, Julie, along with all the amazing members welcomed our little family with open arms. I have so many amazing memories there, but here is one memory that has stuck with me. Being Catholic, I was not raised to pray from the heart, we did not do bible studies, we did not memorize scripture. I actually memorized prayers, which I say to this day, and I am not knocking my faith, it was just different. I remember being in a Bible Study at the church and the story of the rainbow and Noah’s ark came up. As God as my witness I never really grasped that the rainbow was a sign from God and a promise!!!! Now I am not blaming my Catholic upbringing or dogging it, but I am saying it was in that very moment I knew I had a lot of catching up to do! (Still do!) It was in that moment I knew I wanted to go deeper and get to know the bible! It was in that moment I chose to grow in my faith. Like I said, not bagging on my past, but for me this was a pivotal time and one I will forever be grateful for and it was because of that amazing community at Northpointe that I truly started to grow in my faith. Which now I know came at just the right time!!!!!
We were in Meridian from 2002 until 2005 when we moved back to Dallas. That was a little traumatic for us. Trey got out of the military and honestly I don’t think the military does a good job at helping you transition for military life to civilian life. It is quite a change and it is hard on marriages and families. Really hard. When we got back to Dallas I tried desperately to go back to how life was before I left here. I went back to work, tried rekindling relationships with friends I had before I left, and tried to go back to the Catholic Church. All of this made me miserable. Everything had changed and I HAD CHANGED!!!!! It had been five years and nothing was the same. Trey was struggling because he was working for Southwest AND flying for the reserves out of Fort Worth, so two jobs, and an angry wife. That was not a pretty time. It was actually one of our darkest times, but we fought like mad to not give up! Why? Because we were growing in our faith and we fought for that.
It is not easy when your marriage is out of sorts, you are feeling disconnected, and you have no church family. I seriously wonder how people do it with out a church home and a church family? Seriously!!!! We were a mess and desperately trying to find a church home. I am proud to say we FINALLY found a church one as that was so hard with so many choices here in Dallas! North Park Presbyterian was were we settled and yet again it was right where God wanted us. Our amazing pastor, Pastor Rich, truly was a life line for Trey and I. Through his counsel and yet again the amazing members, we made it through that terrible time and we made it through all the more stronger; which helped us to settle into life in the big city of Dallas, Texas!
So as I look back on my thirties I see a gal who grew to be a strong, faith driven woman. A woman who learned to not give up in scary and unsettling times. A woman who learned to be independent when her husband was called to war. A woman who had to learn to adapt to new environments and learned one of the most important ingredients to a new place is a church home. A woman who does not give up or settle on a church home either! She turns over every stone until she knows she is in the right place. Most importantly, I see a woman who fights for her marriage and for her family whom she loves desperately and will go to the ends earth fighting for AND I see a woman who is worthy! That is what I see.
Until Next Time,
XO,
Amy
The 90's
I have to say my twenties were a blast! BUT, there was a lot of growing up happening. It was a very bi-polarish time for me! However, with that being said, I would not change any of it for the world. I am realizing now that certain people really do come into your life and sometimes only for a brief time, but for very good reasons. Looking back, I look at each person as a gift and a treasure. Truly, because without that individual, I would not be who I am today. So for every heartache, for every party, for every loss, for every gain, I am forever grateful.
I started out my college career at The University of North Texas. I really had NO CLUE what I wanted to major in and I think I changed it four times before I settled on Communications. I still am not sure what I want to be when I grow up if I am being honest, but I can tell you I LOVED communication classes and I LOVED giving speeches! So it seemed like the best fit. I pledged Kappa Kappa Gamma and I am proud to say we were the first Kappa pledge class at UNT. It was a very exciting and fun time for me. I met some amazing gals who really are true leaders today, but one thing is for sure, they always had my back in college.
1991 was a HUGE year for me. It is when I met Trey. I will never forget that day as long as I live and Julie Lane Schragin is proof that this happened!!!!! It was the VERY beginning of the school year at UNT and it was a stormy day. I remember we were monitoring the doors of the Physical Education Building, that was our job, and I saw Trey walking down the large hall towards the gym and I clearly remember saying, “I am going to marry that guy!” And would you believe he did not have his college ID so we could not let him in! I was devastated! For months though he would come to the gym and if I was checking out equipment I would just stare at his ID because if you checked out equipment we kept your ID until you returned it!!!!! I remember thinking he was so dreamy!
I did that for 4 months until I finally got up the nerve and I ASKED HIM OUT! Pitiful! I know, but it just shows you yet another pattern; IF AMY FOLEY BERRY WANTS SOMETHING SHE AIN’T AFRAID TO ASK! He said yes and well the rest is history! Kind of!!!!!
At the end of that school year, Trey was returning back to Texas A & M as he was only at UNT for two semesters for a specific certification that UNT offered. So what did I do? Well, I did what any normal SENIOR in college would do! I transferred to Blinn College, which for those of you who do not know Blinn, that is a two year program. AND before anyone jumps on me I am not knocking two year programs! As a matter of fact I LOVE JUNIOR COLLEGES! Why? Well, for a number of reasons but mainly because it cost a lot less and you can get your boring basics out of the way at discounted price! A HUGE discount I might add. You just have to be smart and make sure everything transfers over, but most people do not transfer into a Junior College their Senior year of a four year program…..BUT AMY FOLEY BERRY sure does! Especially when she is in love!
Bob Foley was not too pleased with me at this time in life! And that is a funny story in and of itself….I just want you to remember he thought I was NUTS and I had lost my mind! Well, I knew what I was doing! I promise! I did it all for love! Ha!
While at Blinn I went to work for the Colonel. He was the dean of students and he had a military background. God knew what he was doing when he opened that door up! What a life experience. I learned a lot about time management, priorities, people skills, hard work, and respect of others and their time. The biggest lesson he taught me was how important it was to get to know your instructor no matter how big or small your class is. That helped me so much when I transitioned into A & M the next semester. What a change that was for me! Going from mid size classes at UNT to very small and intimate at Blinn and then WHAM I was in the middle of the ocean of Texas A & M and the only life raft I had was my communication skills! Thanks to the Colonel I did just fine there and when I transferred back to UNT. YEP! You read that right! I transferred back to UNT! Why? Well, because I liked to keep my parents on their toes! That’s why!!!!
No! Not really. The truth is Trey graduated in May and when I spoke to the Dean of the Communications school it was going to take me another 1-2 years to graduate. I did not like that idea because honestly I did not enjoy school. I remember driving up to UNT in the beginning of May and went straight to their communication department and we worked it out to where if I took 18 hours in the summer and 18 in the fall I could graduate. Trey told me if I did that we could get married. I was so excited what do you think I did? I took my tail back to UNT and buckled down and graduated so we could get married! Well, folks we did not get married!!!! Matter of fact we broke up a little less than a year after I graduated! Am I bitter about that? Nope because I learned a lot about hard work, creative problem solving, and I learned if someone is madly in love, well, there is not a lot you can do to change their mind. Trust me! No one was changing mine! I am proud to say even with all that chaos, I graduated on the deans list with at 3.95 and I did it my way and I would not change any of it!
From there I went to work for my father at Buzz Print slinging ink across Dallas, Texas! What a fun job sales is! I LOVED almost every aspect of it! The game, the challenge, the getting to meet new people all the time, and the sheer adrenaline rush when you landed the big deal! What I did not love was when things went wrong. I had quite a temper so much so my baby brother Paul nicknamed me Tawanda! I could get pretty nasty. But, over time I am proud to say I have learned to tame that temper. It took A LOT of years though! A LOT!!!!!
While working at Buzz Print I decided I wanted to run a marathon. Not really sure why because I ABHOR running! But I signed up through The Leukemia Society of America. This might have been the BEST thing that happened to me in my mid 20’s because it quickly brought me out of a very selfish time in life and showed me the gift of serving. My first patient I ran for was a little girl by the name of Jennifer. She was the cutest, most shy, little cutie pie. Her mama and I became really good friends and through Donna and Jennifer I met many other kids with cancer. So many that I let my little chicken butt, Lea, talk me into doing another marathon because that is what you do when you hate running. You run more!!!!! Before I knew it I had my little tribe. Lea, Cooper, Jennifer, and Kaityln. These kiddos and their families were my life. I got to know their doctors, their nurses, and their siblings. I learned so much about strength, courage, faith, guts, advocating for oneself and for your child, and what is really important in life. News flash…..it ain’t what car you drive or purse you carry. It is the time we have with each other….Just sayin….because of my little tribe and their lives I got to not only be a part of The Leukemia Society of America but I got to be a part of The Clayton Dabney Foundation and Challenge Aspen. What an honor and what a privilege. I will never forget that period in my life. Ever. I grew up so much and I cherish those memories, those families, and those individuals who believed in me and let me participate. And now I have an angel in heaven who watches over me daily.
While all of this was taking place Trey and I were doing the dance of on again off again….It happens and now I know it happens for lots of reasons, one being growth. If Trey and I had gotten married back in 1993 I would have missed out on so much and who knows where we would be today. I firmly believe we would still be married, but it would sure look different. We would look different. I am happy with how we look now!
When Trey finally did propose, as God as my witness we were not even dating! But, somehow we both knew! And I reminded my dad of that little girl who followed that young boy to College Station her senior year of college and I reminded him that in my heart I knew what was best!
So as I look back on my 20’s I look back with all kinds of pride, all kinds of giggles, and all kinds of joy! I realize that I do go after what I want even when someone that means the world to me does not believe in it. If I believe in it that is all that matters. I see that I do have a sweet spot for children with disabilities and terminal illnesses and I see I have a passion for living life with them even when they know they will not experience a full life. I see here again an area where I was able to use my passion for motivating and inspiring and how much I love to help people see how each of us is worthy. No matter what cards life has dealt us we are worthy and we are special and we deserve love. No matter what you are worthy of love!
Until next time!
XO,
Amy
2020 Has This Girl Thinking…..
Can you believe it is going to be 2020!!!!! This is so amazing to me and I keep pondering how back in 1999 everyone and their dog was worried about Y2K and the world coming to an end. I don’t really hear a lot of that now which is good news, but I am sure that is because the world is watching our country divided about whether to impeach el presidente or not! I DIGRESS BAD!!!!!! So Sorry!!!!!
I will say 2020 has me thinking about my life in general. Maybe because I will be a half of a century come October, maybe because my first born will be going to college, or maybe because with the loss of my mom I realize how fast time flies. I don’t know why, but I know it has me in serious thought. Does it you?
I decided to do an exercise and break down my life by decades. Why? Well, I am realizing when I do this and really reflect on who I was and who I have become a lot of the past is what has molded me into the human I am today. Which I am proud to say, I kind of like me. Do you like you? If not, might I suggest you do this exercise along with me? You might find it very healing and insightful.
I decided to combine my first two decades because I don’t remember much before third grade. I remember bits and pieces. I have very fond memories of growing up in Graham, Texas. I went to Woodland Elementary and I remember I loved walking to kindergarten with my friend Robin Faust. I also remember she and my best friend Ginger Nees getting very close at that time and I was SUPER JEALOUS! So the lesson here is it starts young with girls, the jealousy, the envy, and the mean girl mess…. it is nothing new it has always been around. Stupid, petty, uncalled for meanness. So sad really, but hey, it is part of being human.
My memories of Woodland Elementary include going to the library and checking out the book, The Value of Determination: The Story of Helen Keller, by Ann Donegan Johnson. I remember being so fascinated by Helen Keller’s story on a number of levels. Her sheer determination, the way she overcame all kinds of obstacles, and her care giver/teacher Ann Sullivan. I was fascinated by Ann Sullivan’s way of getting personal with Helen and making Helen feel so special and helping her to see she could do whatever she set her mind to do. I think this is when my passion towards people with special needs began. I remember and I am proud to say I am still in touch somewhat with my third grade teacher, Mrs. Hardin. She was a gem. A gem that cared dearly about her students and made a huge difference in our lives. I broke my leg and she literally put my desk right next to hers and took such good care of me. I remember there was a tornado once and we had to take cover and God as my witness I pooped my pants! No lie! Would you believe Mrs. Hardin quietly took me to the office, got someone to cover for her, and drove me home. I even remember her car. It was a green rabbit! Ha!!!! And she use to give us peanut butter out of a huge can on brown paper towels daily to help us keep our brain working! Things that would NEVER happen now, but probably should!!!! A high protein snack mid day might help the young ones concentrate and not be so crazy!
I remember this outfit!!!! I loved it so much! I was so proud of those boots and that sweater skirt get up!!!!!
I remember in 5th grade, a gal by the name of Tracy, who had an orange wheel chair use to come to Mrs. Rosie Steel’s class. Steven Ranger and I sat in the back of the room and Tracy would be wheeled in and I would chat with her. Looking back now I think Tracy probably had cerebral palsy, but no one really told me. All I know is her hands were curled up and she could not speak. She could only move her head and make noises, but she and I had our own language. So much so that she started bringing me Juicy Fruit gum. Now every time I see Juicy Fruit I think of Tracy and wonder what ever happened to her.
Between Helen Keller and Tracy, not to mention having a mother that was damn near Mother Teresa, forgive me for cursing Mom, I really do believe that is where my compassion and love for those with special needs was planted. I learned so much from her and the biggest lesson I learned is everyone in the world has a problem of some sort. We all do. It is just a fact of life. What sets us all apart is those who are determined to work hard and cope with their problems, those are the happy people….those who chose to give up and blame the world….those are the unhappy people. Tracy could not walk, she could not talk, she could not control her arm or head baubles, but Tracy was happy! Even though she would never be better she was happy. I will always be grateful for that lesson.
Did I always remember that lesson? No! Especially in middle school. I am not sure what happens to us in middle school so I will just blame the hormones, but middle school is a beast! And when your mom puts your hair in Princess Leah buns on the daily, well it makes life super hard! True story!!!!! I don’t have many memories, but I remember the library again! Weird, writing this shows me where I got my love for reading, but my best friend Ginger’s grandmother, Mee Maw, was our librarian and somehow I was lucky enough to get Library for homeroom? I don’t know how, but I remember getting to go daily one year and I got the back table with three other people. It was AWESOME! I remember Mr. Green Jeans for Science and I am sad to say I cannot remember what his real name was!!!!! I had Ms. Swope for Social Studies and Ms. Guinn with green eyebrows, no lie, for Math! Mrs. Jones was one of my math teachers as well and pretty much that is all I remember, with the exception of the most humiliating experience of my life. Trying out for cheerleader and not making it! Most embarrassing thing EVER!!!!! I remember running down the hall to Mrs. Sebastians room and just bawling!!!! She was not my teacher, but she was one of those teachers who had compassion and you just knew it so she was who I ran to that day. The worst day of my middle school career! Worse than when I started my period!!!! FOR REALS!!!!
Yall! Bless it!!!!!
I recovered and made it to High School where I have so many fond memories. My first kiss, wrecking Ginger’s convertible bug into our Vice Principal’s daughters car, Friday night lights, my first real love, getting kicked out of confirmation by Father Ned because I was questioning my faith, and so much more, but my fondest memories are of the people who loved me through some really rough times.
I was 16 when I came home one day and told my mom I was angry, sad, and was not for sure what the point to life was. Looking back I now know where I get my ability to face stuff with our kids head on and not be afraid to ask for help when we need it. My mom! I remember she loaded my rear end up in the car right then and there and took me to the clinic and let them know we had an emergency and had to be seen. I remember Dr. Nesbit was so gracious and saw us and I just cried. He told my mom he thought I had depression and he would like to medicate me with Tofranil. I remember this day like it was yesterday. My mom was amazing and agreed to the medicine, which back in the 80’s carried a huge stigma. I am so proud of her and so grateful to her for this. To this day, I still see people put a stigma on depression and medication and I am here to tell you I am here today because my mom knew me, really knew me, and knew I needed help. AND she use to always say, “It is no different than a diabetic who needs insulin.” You know what? She is and was right! Another thing she was right on, was she told me to find a teacher I trusted and open up to them. Well, I did. Not sure how much I opened up, but Mrs. Morris got me. She got me so much she got our high school counselor Mrs. King involved. Between the two of them, my mom, and my amazing dance teacher, Renee, I got stabilized and I was able to enjoy the rest of my high school career. But, it was really hard for part of it. So hard I wanted to give up, but something about them believing in me, loving me where I was at, which was a very dark place, and putting up with me, made me not want to give up. Not to mention my tribe of girls, Ginger, Lara, and Mary. They kept me grounded and they loved me even when I was unlovable.
Looking back on that time I realize dance and theater saved me. My dance teacher Renee was like a sister to me and my theater coach, Mr. Cody, well he made me believe I was capable of anything I wanted to do or be on that stage. I loved getting lost in a play or a dance and now I know why I love dance. For one hour every day, I get to only concentrate on the music, the counts, the movement, and the feeling. It is so wonderful to turn my mind off to the outside “STUFF” and just listen, feel, move, and shine. Shine bright!!!!! Everyone should be so lucky as to find the one thing they can do daily and just get lost. What is that for you?
Bless us! Can you find me? I think this is circa 1985…..
So as I look back on my first two decades of life, I am starting to see how or why I love certain things. Who or what had an influence on me and helped be a part of making me into the human I am becoming. The human being who is constantly evolving and who is realizing her story. The story of Amy Foley Berry. The story of a worthy girl. A girl with determination, compassion, honesty, grit, love, and faith.
Until Next Time,
XO,
Amy
Great book for kiddos!!!!! Actual all of the Valuetales are great books! Great Christmas gift!!!!
Juicy fruit gum always reminds me of Tracy and the value of life is hard but I get a choice to be happy or not….which way will you choose? Chew some Juicy Fruit and think about it!!!!!