2020 Has This Girl Thinking…..
Can you believe it is going to be 2020!!!!! This is so amazing to me and I keep pondering how back in 1999 everyone and their dog was worried about Y2K and the world coming to an end. I don’t really hear a lot of that now which is good news, but I am sure that is because the world is watching our country divided about whether to impeach el presidente or not! I DIGRESS BAD!!!!!! So Sorry!!!!!
I will say 2020 has me thinking about my life in general. Maybe because I will be a half of a century come October, maybe because my first born will be going to college, or maybe because with the loss of my mom I realize how fast time flies. I don’t know why, but I know it has me in serious thought. Does it you?
I decided to do an exercise and break down my life by decades. Why? Well, I am realizing when I do this and really reflect on who I was and who I have become a lot of the past is what has molded me into the human I am today. Which I am proud to say, I kind of like me. Do you like you? If not, might I suggest you do this exercise along with me? You might find it very healing and insightful.
I decided to combine my first two decades because I don’t remember much before third grade. I remember bits and pieces. I have very fond memories of growing up in Graham, Texas. I went to Woodland Elementary and I remember I loved walking to kindergarten with my friend Robin Faust. I also remember she and my best friend Ginger Nees getting very close at that time and I was SUPER JEALOUS! So the lesson here is it starts young with girls, the jealousy, the envy, and the mean girl mess…. it is nothing new it has always been around. Stupid, petty, uncalled for meanness. So sad really, but hey, it is part of being human.
My memories of Woodland Elementary include going to the library and checking out the book, The Value of Determination: The Story of Helen Keller, by Ann Donegan Johnson. I remember being so fascinated by Helen Keller’s story on a number of levels. Her sheer determination, the way she overcame all kinds of obstacles, and her care giver/teacher Ann Sullivan. I was fascinated by Ann Sullivan’s way of getting personal with Helen and making Helen feel so special and helping her to see she could do whatever she set her mind to do. I think this is when my passion towards people with special needs began. I remember and I am proud to say I am still in touch somewhat with my third grade teacher, Mrs. Hardin. She was a gem. A gem that cared dearly about her students and made a huge difference in our lives. I broke my leg and she literally put my desk right next to hers and took such good care of me. I remember there was a tornado once and we had to take cover and God as my witness I pooped my pants! No lie! Would you believe Mrs. Hardin quietly took me to the office, got someone to cover for her, and drove me home. I even remember her car. It was a green rabbit! Ha!!!! And she use to give us peanut butter out of a huge can on brown paper towels daily to help us keep our brain working! Things that would NEVER happen now, but probably should!!!! A high protein snack mid day might help the young ones concentrate and not be so crazy!
I remember this outfit!!!! I loved it so much! I was so proud of those boots and that sweater skirt get up!!!!!
I remember in 5th grade, a gal by the name of Tracy, who had an orange wheel chair use to come to Mrs. Rosie Steel’s class. Steven Ranger and I sat in the back of the room and Tracy would be wheeled in and I would chat with her. Looking back now I think Tracy probably had cerebral palsy, but no one really told me. All I know is her hands were curled up and she could not speak. She could only move her head and make noises, but she and I had our own language. So much so that she started bringing me Juicy Fruit gum. Now every time I see Juicy Fruit I think of Tracy and wonder what ever happened to her.
Between Helen Keller and Tracy, not to mention having a mother that was damn near Mother Teresa, forgive me for cursing Mom, I really do believe that is where my compassion and love for those with special needs was planted. I learned so much from her and the biggest lesson I learned is everyone in the world has a problem of some sort. We all do. It is just a fact of life. What sets us all apart is those who are determined to work hard and cope with their problems, those are the happy people….those who chose to give up and blame the world….those are the unhappy people. Tracy could not walk, she could not talk, she could not control her arm or head baubles, but Tracy was happy! Even though she would never be better she was happy. I will always be grateful for that lesson.
Did I always remember that lesson? No! Especially in middle school. I am not sure what happens to us in middle school so I will just blame the hormones, but middle school is a beast! And when your mom puts your hair in Princess Leah buns on the daily, well it makes life super hard! True story!!!!! I don’t have many memories, but I remember the library again! Weird, writing this shows me where I got my love for reading, but my best friend Ginger’s grandmother, Mee Maw, was our librarian and somehow I was lucky enough to get Library for homeroom? I don’t know how, but I remember getting to go daily one year and I got the back table with three other people. It was AWESOME! I remember Mr. Green Jeans for Science and I am sad to say I cannot remember what his real name was!!!!! I had Ms. Swope for Social Studies and Ms. Guinn with green eyebrows, no lie, for Math! Mrs. Jones was one of my math teachers as well and pretty much that is all I remember, with the exception of the most humiliating experience of my life. Trying out for cheerleader and not making it! Most embarrassing thing EVER!!!!! I remember running down the hall to Mrs. Sebastians room and just bawling!!!! She was not my teacher, but she was one of those teachers who had compassion and you just knew it so she was who I ran to that day. The worst day of my middle school career! Worse than when I started my period!!!! FOR REALS!!!!
Yall! Bless it!!!!!
I recovered and made it to High School where I have so many fond memories. My first kiss, wrecking Ginger’s convertible bug into our Vice Principal’s daughters car, Friday night lights, my first real love, getting kicked out of confirmation by Father Ned because I was questioning my faith, and so much more, but my fondest memories are of the people who loved me through some really rough times.
I was 16 when I came home one day and told my mom I was angry, sad, and was not for sure what the point to life was. Looking back I now know where I get my ability to face stuff with our kids head on and not be afraid to ask for help when we need it. My mom! I remember she loaded my rear end up in the car right then and there and took me to the clinic and let them know we had an emergency and had to be seen. I remember Dr. Nesbit was so gracious and saw us and I just cried. He told my mom he thought I had depression and he would like to medicate me with Tofranil. I remember this day like it was yesterday. My mom was amazing and agreed to the medicine, which back in the 80’s carried a huge stigma. I am so proud of her and so grateful to her for this. To this day, I still see people put a stigma on depression and medication and I am here to tell you I am here today because my mom knew me, really knew me, and knew I needed help. AND she use to always say, “It is no different than a diabetic who needs insulin.” You know what? She is and was right! Another thing she was right on, was she told me to find a teacher I trusted and open up to them. Well, I did. Not sure how much I opened up, but Mrs. Morris got me. She got me so much she got our high school counselor Mrs. King involved. Between the two of them, my mom, and my amazing dance teacher, Renee, I got stabilized and I was able to enjoy the rest of my high school career. But, it was really hard for part of it. So hard I wanted to give up, but something about them believing in me, loving me where I was at, which was a very dark place, and putting up with me, made me not want to give up. Not to mention my tribe of girls, Ginger, Lara, and Mary. They kept me grounded and they loved me even when I was unlovable.
Looking back on that time I realize dance and theater saved me. My dance teacher Renee was like a sister to me and my theater coach, Mr. Cody, well he made me believe I was capable of anything I wanted to do or be on that stage. I loved getting lost in a play or a dance and now I know why I love dance. For one hour every day, I get to only concentrate on the music, the counts, the movement, and the feeling. It is so wonderful to turn my mind off to the outside “STUFF” and just listen, feel, move, and shine. Shine bright!!!!! Everyone should be so lucky as to find the one thing they can do daily and just get lost. What is that for you?
Bless us! Can you find me? I think this is circa 1985…..
So as I look back on my first two decades of life, I am starting to see how or why I love certain things. Who or what had an influence on me and helped be a part of making me into the human I am becoming. The human being who is constantly evolving and who is realizing her story. The story of Amy Foley Berry. The story of a worthy girl. A girl with determination, compassion, honesty, grit, love, and faith.
Until Next Time,
XO,
Amy
Great book for kiddos!!!!! Actual all of the Valuetales are great books! Great Christmas gift!!!!
Juicy fruit gum always reminds me of Tracy and the value of life is hard but I get a choice to be happy or not….which way will you choose? Chew some Juicy Fruit and think about it!!!!!
