19 Years Ago Today
Dear Will,
Holy Cow! 19 years ago today I became a mom. Not just any mom….your mom! What a gift you are, even to this day, to your father and me. 19 years ago today you came into this world. 19 years ago today you breathed your first breath, made your first sound, and 19 years ago today I held you in my arms and called you son.
This is the first year you are not here with me on your birthday. Will, I have some questions for you….and this is a test…a test to see if you even read this and a test for me……(Ok that just made me laugh! But I need you to answer these questions.)
Have I been a good mom?
Do I make you proud?
Do you believe in me?
Will you have been an incredible son! You ARE a leader! You never disappoint….yes, we have had challenges and yes, I have questioned some of your decisions, or behaviors, but I know who you are at your core. At your core, you are a good person. You have a heart for Christ. You have values. You have a hard work ethic. You are a leader and you are my firstborn. Do you make me proud? Oh, my stars….over the moon proud! Goo goo proud! Will Berry, I am so proud that you are who you are and the thing I am most proud about it is that YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! That, my son, is half the battle! Never lose that! Do I believe in you? Will Berry, I believe in YOU! I believe you can and will be whatever you choose! I know you will choose wisely! I know it! But one thing I want to say is….make your choice with your heart….not with what you think will make you the most money! YOU BE YOU AND DO YOU! Go for what you are passionate about Will and the rest will fall into place. LOOK UP to God….ask Him for guidance. He created you and He has a purpose for you. Follow His lead my son and you will be blessed abundantly! I promise you that!
Happy Birthday, My Boy!
I love YOU so!
LYMSIL!
Mom
Choo Choo! It's All About YOU!
Dear Graeme!
Today is your day! Happy Birthday to our Caboose! I can’t even begin to imagine what life would be like without you! You bring our entire family so much love, joy, and FUN! Boy do you bring the fun! You are always doing something to make us laugh!
Sweet “Kulla” (Kayla) and my boys…..
Can you believe that nine years ago today God gave us you? I remember it like it was yesterday and I remember thinking what a miracle you were! You know if it was not for Baby Berry in heaven, I am not sure I would have had you. Have you ever thought about that? That honestly might be a little more than your nine year old brain can wrap its head around, but I swear I firmly believe everything happens for a reason and God knew we needed you. I also believe God has BIG plans for you! I can’t wait to see what they are!
You bring us so much joy and laughter!!!!!
Maybe you will be a famous soccer player, maybe you will be a doctor, maybe you will be a pilot, maybe you will be a business man with a business plan, maybe you will be an inventor……The point is Graeme Berry, you can be whatever you want to be because you are you and you are so unique, so smart, and so amazing! And I am so grateful God gave us YOU!
I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you!
So as you celebrate your day today, even though you cannot celebrate with your friends, know that this day is so very special to me and to daddy because this is the day we got the best gift of all! We got our Caboose! And what a ride it has been these last nine years with you, our special baby boy!!!! WE LOVE YOU SO!!!!!
Last year….we will be able to do this again soon buddy! I promise!!!!!!
Happy Birthday!
XO,
Mom and Dad…and your big brothers too!!!!!
You Light Up My Life!
Baby Bear! It is YOUR birthday and I cannot believe that in 365 days from now you will be 18! Where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday you were holding that bottle in between your teeth and dragging that blankie around! Oh that blankie!!!!! Such memories! I can still smell it! NO LIE! But what I would do to erase time and go back to that stinky blankie!
Why erase time and go back? Because there were times I was not at my best and I know there were times I could have done better. Yes ,you have had a wonderful life, but as your mom I know there were times I could have done better. For instance, when I kept making you play football! I am so sorry for that. I know you forgive me and all I can give you is the acknowledgement that I know that I could have done better there. I am sorry. I know there are many more. The point is I want you to know I love you!
Here is the deal, I know you know I love you. I also know we will still have rough patches. What I want you to know son is I will always love you. ALWAYS!!!!! NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!! You bring me so much joy and light! It’s not just one way that you shine either JP, but a million different ways that you light up my life. You are such a gift! And not just to me and our family, but to the world!
So on this 17th birthday my darling JP remember this: “Keep Shining Beautiful One! The world needs your light!”
Happy Birthday MY JP!
IWALY!
Mom
Eight is GREAT
Dear Graeme!
I cannot believe you turn 8 today! It seems like just yesterday I was pregnant with you! I still remember the day I found out God was blessing us with you! I will not lie, I was in shock! You see we were told we would not be able to have more babies after we lost our sweet baby bear that is in heaven. So mommy just went on with life. I went on but I have to tell you I was empty. Something was missing. Do you know what was missing? YOU!
Graeme, when I found out God was giving us you I honestly did not believe it. I would go to the doctor darn near EVERY week, true story! You can ask Dr. Bertrand. I would go in and ask for a sonogram just to make sure your heart was still beating. To make sure you were still growing. And to make sure there was no extra fluid around you or your brain. That is what happened to baby bear. Dr. Bertrand and his staff were so patient, understanding, and kind. I needed that because I was so worried about you and I was so scared of losing you.
On December 13, 2010, Daddy and I found out we were having a boy. YOU! I remember that day like it was yesterday. Your big brothers, Daddy, and I went to my special doctor, Dr. Rinehart. He was a funny guy I remember. His humor always put me at ease. That day however, I was very impatient. I had to see him every two weeks and for some reason that morning I was really panicking. Maybe it was because I knew Will and JP would be with us and I could not bear for them to see what happens when the babies heart beat has stopped, like what happened to baby Berry. Who knows really. What I do know, up until that day I did not believe I would have you. I lived in fear of losing you, but something happened the minute Dr. Rinehart told your brothers they would be having a baby brother. Something magical. It was at that moment I knew in my heart you were mine and we would have you. I think the same thing happened to Daddy. Because, after that day, Daddy started singing to you in my belly and talking to you and everything changed. Changed for the better. I can’t explain it.
I remember writing Baby Berry a note that day. If I find it I will share it with you. I thanked her for the 16 short weeks she gave me and thanked her for watching over you until God gave us you. I thanked her for going to Heaven because now we got you. I think it was at that moment I let go and let God have her and realized she would have been very sick on this earth. I realized her going home to God was better. She would not be in pain and we would have you.
This may be a lot for your maginificant 8 year old brain, but the point is I want you to know how lucky I feel to have you. How lucky our family feels. I want you to know we all love you so much and you make our world complete. Before you my heart had a hole and I was very sad. You came into our world and we are complete. You make us complete Graeme Berry!
I love you so much boo! I see big things ahead for you! I believe in you! And I love you sooo!
Happy Birthday Graeme Bear!
Love you mostest!
Mom
