Dear Graeme!
I cannot believe you turn 8 today! It seems like just yesterday I was pregnant with you! I still remember the day I found out God was blessing us with you! I will not lie, I was in shock! You see we were told we would not be able to have more babies after we lost our sweet baby bear that is in heaven. So mommy just went on with life. I went on but I have to tell you I was empty. Something was missing. Do you know what was missing? YOU!
Graeme, when I found out God was giving us you I honestly did not believe it. I would go to the doctor darn near EVERY week, true story! You can ask Dr. Bertrand. I would go in and ask for a sonogram just to make sure your heart was still beating. To make sure you were still growing. And to make sure there was no extra fluid around you or your brain. That is what happened to baby bear. Dr. Bertrand and his staff were so patient, understanding, and kind. I needed that because I was so worried about you and I was so scared of losing you.
On December 13, 2010, Daddy and I found out we were having a boy. YOU! I remember that day like it was yesterday. Your big brothers, Daddy, and I went to my special doctor, Dr. Rinehart. He was a funny guy I remember. His humor always put me at ease. That day however, I was very impatient. I had to see him every two weeks and for some reason that morning I was really panicking. Maybe it was because I knew Will and JP would be with us and I could not bear for them to see what happens when the babies heart beat has stopped, like what happened to baby Berry. Who knows really. What I do know, up until that day I did not believe I would have you. I lived in fear of losing you, but something happened the minute Dr. Rinehart told your brothers they would be having a baby brother. Something magical. It was at that moment I knew in my heart you were mine and we would have you. I think the same thing happened to Daddy. Because, after that day, Daddy started singing to you in my belly and talking to you and everything changed. Changed for the better. I can’t explain it.
I remember writing Baby Berry a note that day. If I find it I will share it with you. I thanked her for the 16 short weeks she gave me and thanked her for watching over you until God gave us you. I thanked her for going to Heaven because now we got you. I think it was at that moment I let go and let God have her and realized she would have been very sick on this earth. I realized her going home to God was better. She would not be in pain and we would have you.
This may be a lot for your maginificant 8 year old brain, but the point is I want you to know how lucky I feel to have you. How lucky our family feels. I want you to know we all love you so much and you make our world complete. Before you my heart had a hole and I was very sad. You came into our world and we are complete. You make us complete Graeme Berry!
I love you so much boo! I see big things ahead for you! I believe in you! And I love you sooo!
Happy Birthday Graeme Bear!
Love you mostest!
Mom
