Things I Am Afraid To Tell You....
Today I am turning the tables a bit. I am stepping out of my comfort zone and I am going to tell you a few things I am scared to tell you. Why would I do this? I mean after all my goal here is to get readers and a following, why would I do this? Because, I need you to see my life is real. It is not all roses and unicorns. There are some things about me that honestly I am ashamed of, but it is who I am and I make mistakes. A lot of mistakes. So today I will step out of my comfort zone and I will show you the ugly side. Not the pretty pictures where you see of all of us laughing, but the side where I am a human and I too make mistakes. This thing we do called motherhood is hard and it is so easy to feel judged, but what you need to know is you are not alone. We all make mistakes, in whatever season of life we are in, we make mistakes. So let's give ourselves some grace and love and remember no one is perfect. Unless we have walked in that persons shoes we really should not judge. We should just love.
So here we go! Things I am afraid to tell you about me....
I yell. I mean I straight up scream and it is embarrassing to admit. I mean who full on screams at their kids? I do. I lose complete control sometimes and I just can't stop. I have really been working hard on it, but it still do it sometimes and I know my older boys have just gotten to the point where they just ignore me because I am that crazy. Sure they say, "Yes mam" or acknowledge whatever I am going off about, but I know it is falling on deaf ears which is why I wish I could just get it under control. I try. I really do and I will say that since I have started this blog and really been consistent with my quiet time I am doing better, but I do slip sometimes still. When I do I ask for forgiveness and drop to my knees. Does not mean that makes it all better though because I still get sick to my stomach when I stop and realize what I am doing. Because after all if I was a "good mom" I would not do that right?
I am horrible with money! Yep! Just horrible! I don't pay any of our bills and I honestly do not pay attention to our accounts. This is horrible really and I know this. Money for whatever reason has always given me stress and anxiety. I don't know why either because I did not want for anything growing up, but for whatever reason when Trey wants to talk about the budget or look at our accounts I literally break out in hives. Really have no clue why, but I do and I hate paying bills and I hate talking money with ANYONE! Hate it!
I have a huge fear of flying and I am married to a pilot. Ya you heard me. Massive fear of flying. I do it, but I hate it and I dread it! Seriously dread it! Good news here is the last place Trey wants to be on a vacation is on a plane so we take a lot of cruises.
I cuss. It is terrible and as my father always says, "It shows a lack of vocabulary." I know this and I agree with it, but gosh darn it, for whatever reason I have a filthy mouth. I need to really work on this because yall, it is so bad! Not kidding! So yes, I love Jesus and I cuss a little.
So there you have it! Confessions of a yelling, poor money managing, scared to fly, filthy mouth mama who loves Jesus. No I am not perfect. I have good days and I have bad days and sometimes I have really bad days. What do I do on those really bad days, in those really bad moments?
We all need to remember with each new day is a new chance. A new chance to grow and a new chance to change habits about ourselves we don't like. I don't know what it is for you, but for me it is the screaming and the cussing I want to change the most so how am I going to go about it? I am going to do everything I can to get in my first 15! Don't know what I am talking about? Click here! First 15
First 15 is me turning to God! And in the heat of moments I turn to God and I remember I am worthy and you my friend are too! Don't ever forget that! No matter what the mistake is or bad habit is, you are worthy! So look up because we are loved even in the midst of imperfection.
Until next time!
XO,
Amy
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