Dear Little Girl...The Quiet That Kept Me Alive

Dear Little Girl,

Last Saturday I did absolutely nothing. And maybe that’s exactly what my body needed.

I wrote about my feelings on quiet time, and Trey asked me why it bothered me so much. I don’t know if he can fully understand it, but the truth is — quiet time saved me in some of my loneliest, darkest seasons.

Seasons he was part of.

When my mom died, I turned to God because I was angry. Angry that He took her away from me. I didn’t understand death back then. All I knew was that we had a beautiful, loving relationship — and suddenly she was gone.

She was the one I called every day at three o’clock. Always there. Always listening. Never telling me what to do. She didn’t butt in. She just heard me.

God, I miss that.

Then Trey got sick. And I think quiet time gave me endurance. It gave me a clearer picture of Jesus — of what He endured, of what it means to keep showing up when things are hard. It helped me stay strong for my three boys. It helped me pray for guidance, for the right people to surround our family, because addiction and mental health are real — and they are terrifying.

Then it got worse.

My dad died.
And Trey got sicker.
Like, scary sick. Doing scary things.

And then he left.

Physically.
Emotionally.
Financially.

It was dark. A kind of dark I don’t have words for.

But I had a morning routine that had been slowly building since 2018. And by 2023, I was staring down the barrel of a divorce.

And while I never heard God audibly, what I felt was this:

Wait. Don’t talk.

So I didn’t.

I didn’t talk to Trey.
I didn’t talk to my attorneys — not until they forced me to.
I got quiet.

And in that quiet, I think God was working. I can’t explain it. I just know He was.

Because last Saturday, on a snowy morning, I sat typing this while Trey was across the room on the couch watching church.

We’re not divorced.

It feels like a miracle.

Is it rainbows and sunshine? Not even close.

Sometimes it’s still lonely.
Sometimes I wonder if I should have left.
Sometimes I feel angry that I stayed.
Other times I feel deeply grateful.

It’s a wild mix of emotions. Every day brings new joys and new problems. It’s not all smiles and kisses and laughter like Instagram suggests.

But one thing has stayed constant:

God.
And my time with Him.

Whether it’s five seconds of, “Hey God, I’m here but I don’t have time today,”
or hours at this keyboard — He’s there.

Always available.
Wherever I am.
Whenever I need.

And if I ignore Him, get lazy, get mad, or feel really close — He still meets me right where I am, with exactly as much of me as I’m willing to bring.

That’s what I’m thankful for.

That He doesn’t expect flowery words.
That He doesn’t require memorized verses.
That He doesn’t even demand I bring a Bible.

He just wants me.

My heart.
My fears.
My joy.
My dreams.
My pain.

All of me.

And slowly — without pressure — I find myself wanting to know more. Wanting to open Scripture. Wanting to understand who He is. The Father who created me for big things.

And my biggest prayer is simply this:

That I am walking in His will.
Living how He wants me to live.

Of course I still want things.

I want to be the best dance teacher.
I want my MELT business to thrive.
I want to speak. To write. To tell my story.

I want my marriage to feel like a fairy tale.
I want my boys to be healthy and whole and deeply loved.

I want Will to be wildly successful and a man of God who cherishes his family.
I want JP to live out every creative dream in his heart and find someone who loves him and loves God.
I want Graeme to make it through adolescence untouched by addiction, surrounded by good people, rooted in faith, and brave enough to lead.

I pray all of these blessings over my boys.

And Trey…

I leave him at God’s feet. Because I can’t carry him anymore.

But this is what quiet time does for me.

It doesn’t fix everything.
It doesn’t prevent pain.
It doesn’t give me control.

It plants seeds of hope.

And somehow — even on my darkest days — that has been enough to keep me here.

So thank you, God.

For meeting me in the quiet.
For staying when everything else felt like it was falling apart.
For loving me without performance, pressure, or prerequisites.

I love you.

— Worthy 🤍
(Amy)

Dear Little Girl: You Don't Have to Get God Right to Be With Him

Dear Little Girl,

You don’t have to get God right to be with Him.
You don’t need the candle.
You don’t need the journal.
You don’t need the perfect words.

You just need you.

Some days it’s a prayer.
Some days it’s a cry.
Some days it’s five minutes in the car.
Some days it’s yelling into the air.

That still counts.
That still matters.
That’s still relationship.

God isn’t grading your quiet time.
He’s just glad you showed up.

And if all you can say today is:
“Hey God… it’s me again.”
That’s more than enough.

From 2018 to 2023, I didn’t magically land on what worked.

I tried everything.

Books.
Journals.
Devotionals.
Bible studies.
Podcasts.
Silence.
Anger.
Doubt.
Avoidance.
Coming back.
Leaving again.

I even wrote my own journal during that time — and someone close to me once told me it was “lukewarm Christianity.”

But that was actually the whole point.

It was safe Christianity.

It was written for the woman I was:
The one who wasn’t sure God existed.
The one who didn’t know how to pray.
The one who felt awkward around faith.
The one who needed a doorway, not a doctrine.

Slowly — over years, not days — I built a relationship with God that worked for me.

Not because I followed a formula.
But because I kept showing up in whatever way I could.

Sometimes it was a book.
Sometimes it was a journal.
Sometimes it was a podcast.
Sometimes it was just me talking into the air, not even sure anyone was listening.

And here’s what I’ve learned:

Everyone’s relationship with God will look different.
Because everyone is wired differently.

It’s no different than human relationships.
We all connect differently.
We all communicate differently.
We all feel safe in different ways.

The miracle of God is this:

He meets every single one of us exactly where we are.

Not where we should be.
Not where we pretend to be.
Not where church culture says we belong.

But where we actually are.

Confused.
Curious.
Angry.
Hopeful.
Doubting.
Searching.
Tired.
Trying again.

That still counts.
That still works.
That is still relationship.

In 2018, a book by Nancy Guthrie helped me survive grief.
In 2023, Two Chairs met me in the middle of a near divorce and changed everything.

But between those years?
I wandered.
I questioned.
I experimented.
I built something personal.

And that’s the part people don’t talk about.

Faith isn’t built in one moment.
It’s built in a thousand tiny check-ins.

A seed of hope forms.
Not because life gets easy.
But because when life knocks you to the floor, you still know — somewhere deep down — that you are not alone.

I didn’t find God by doing it right.

I found Him by staying in the conversation long enough.

So if someone tells you quiet time needs to be rebranded…
Or canceled…
Or fixed…
Or perfected…

Take what’s helpful.
Leave what isn’t.

But don’t let anyone take this from you:

The power of simply showing up.

You don’t need a formula.
You don’t need a routine.
You don’t need to wake up at 5am.

You just need a moment where you say:

“Hey God… I’m here.”

Even if you’re not sure He is.

That’s where relationships begin.
With humans.
And with God.

Love,
Worthy

(Amy)

Below I have included links to the two books that met me in some of my hardest seasons: 2 Chairs and Hearing Jesus Speak Into Your Sorrow. The two books that literally changed my life….

Dear Little Girl, You Don't Need a Formula to Be Loved by God: Why real faith isn’t built on quiet time culture — it’s built on relationship.

Dear Little Girl,

Somewhere along the way, you started to wonder if you were doing it “right.”

Right way to pray.
Right way to believe.
Right way to meet with God.
Right way to grow spiritually.

You heard words like quiet time, discipline, consistency, structure — and instead of feeling invited, you felt a little evaluated.

Like there was a checklist.
Like God was keeping score.
Like intimacy with Him had a format.

But here’s the truth you’re allowed to remember:

God is not impressed by your methods.
He is moved by your presence.

Sometimes your time with Him looks like a Bible open and a warm cup of coffee before the house wakes up.

And sometimes it looks like:
“Hey God… it’s me again. I’m tired. I’m scared. I don’t know what to do.”

Both count.
Both matter.
Both are prayer.

You don’t need a perfect routine to be close to God.
You need a real relationship.

The kind where you show up messy.
The kind where you argue, doubt, cry, ramble, vent, thank Him, forget about Him, and then come back again.

Because that’s what love looks like.

Not a formula.
Not a performance.
Not a spiritual productivity plan.

Just presence.

Some days your connection will be deep and reflective.
Some days it will be five minutes in the car.
Some days it will be a song that cracks your heart open.
Some days it will be a journal entry that starts with:
“God, where are you?”

And none of those days disqualify you.

Spiritual growth isn’t built on intensity.
It’s built on honesty.

Not how early you wake up.
Not how many chapters you read.
Not how eloquent your prayers sound.

But how often you come back.

Again and again and again.

Even when you’re angry.
Even when you’re confused.
Even when you’re exhausted.
Even when you don’t feel anything at all.

Especially then.

So if you’ve ever felt like you were failing at faith because you couldn’t keep up with someone else’s version of it…

Let this be the reframe:

You are not behind.
You are not doing it wrong.
You are not disappointing God.

You are building a relationship the only way relationships are built:

By showing up as yourself.

And whispering,
“Hey God… it’s me again.”

That’s not weak faith.
That’s real faith.

And it’s more than enough.

Love,
The woman who learned God doesn’t want her perfection —
He wants her heart. 🤍

Dear Little Girl...Seeds Don't Need Pressure to Grow

Author’s Note:
I’ve been sitting with the idea of the underground season — the part of growth we don’t see yet.
If life feels quiet, slow, or unresolved right now, this letter is for you.
Not everything that matters grows in the spotlight. Some things are taking root.

There are places that remind your body how to breathe.
For me, it’s the dance studio.

The music.
The laughter.
The movement.

The way my shoulders drop the moment I walk in.

This week, after being away, I felt it instantly — not just joy, but relief.
My body remembered something my mind already knew: this is a place where I come alive.

And it reminded me of something else I’ve been holding quietly in my heart.

Some of the most important things in life don’t grow louder with pressure.
They grow steadier with time.

I’ve been thinking a lot about seeds lately — the kind you plant and the kind you never see break the surface right away.

In my Bible study, I was struck by a detail I’d never really let sink in before.
Jesus’ own brother, James, didn’t believe in Him during His ministry.

Gospel of John says it plainly:
“Even His own brothers did not believe in Him.”

And yet — after the resurrection — Jesus appeared to James personally.

That moment changed everything.

James went from skeptic to pillar.
From doubt to devotion.
From observer to leader.

And I can’t help but think how much hope there is in that.

For anyone loving a child who questions.
For anyone walking alongside someone who isn’t sure what they believe.
For anyone tempted to push, argue, convince, or panic.

What if belief doesn’t need force?
What if seeds don’t need pressure to grow — just time?

As a parent, this matters deeply to me.

I see how sensitive hearts absorb the weight of the world.
I see how pain, injustice, and suffering can make faith feel complicated.

And I’m learning that my role isn’t to demand certainty —
it’s to remain present.
To love without panic.
To trust what’s already been planted.
To believe that God is not limited by the timing I prefer.

The same is true in marriage.
And healing.
And becoming.

Some seasons are loud and active.
Others are quiet and underground.

But just because something isn’t visible doesn’t mean it isn’t alive.

Acts tells us,
“But the word of God continued to spread and flourish.”

Not because people controlled it —
but because God tended it.

I’m learning to do the same.

To show up where I’m called.
To breathe where I feel alive.
To rest when my nervous system asks me to.
To release what I cannot fix.

And to trust that what has been planted —
in my children, my marriage, my life —
is not forgotten.

Dear Little Girl,
You don’t have to rush growth.
You don’t have to force faith.
You don’t have to carry what isn’t yours to carry.

Seeds know what to do.
And so does God.

Dear Little Girl...The Year Of The Whole

For the past two years, before the noise begins—before the plans, the striving, the fixing, the taking down of the decorations—I come back to this quiet practice.

I write a letter to God.

Not a polished one.
Not a pretty one.

A real one.

It’s full of gratitude and grief.
Faith and fear.
Hope and hurt.

I get naked in the truth.
I name the pain.
I confess the longing.
I say the parts out loud that I usually try to carry quietly.

And then I read it back slowly.

I look for the words that keep repeating—
the ones my soul keeps circling, even when my mind doesn’t know why.

From there, I open the dictionary.
I study the meaning.
I let other words rise up—synonyms, echoes, invitations.

Then I take it all to Scripture.
Because I don’t want a word that just sounds good.
I want a word God is already speaking.

This year, the word that kept rising was Whole.

Not perfect.
Not fixed.
Not untouched.

Whole.

Whole means nothing missing.
Nothing broken.
Nothing that has to be earned back.

It means spirit, soul, and body learning to live in harmony again.
It means being honest about the fractures without letting them define you.
It means choosing safety without shrinking.
Truth without hardness.
Boundaries without guilt.

It means trusting that God can put you back together—not into who you were, but into who you are becoming.

This is the verse that held me:

“May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole,
make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—
and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ.
The One who called you is completely dependable.
If he said it, he’ll do it.”
—1 Thessalonians 5:23–24 (The Message)

That verse mattered to me because it reminds me of this truth:
Wholeness is not something I manufacture. It is something God completes.

My job is not to force healing.
My job is to stay present, honest, and willing.

This year, Whole is not about pretending things are easy or healed or resolved.
It’s about trusting that even in the middle of uncertainty, I am not fragmented.

I am whole.

Being whole means I no longer abandon myself to keep the peace.
It means I listen to my body when it signals danger or rest or truth.
It means I set boundaries not as punishment, but as protection for what is sacred.

When I live from wholeness, I don’t have to beg for safety.
I can discern it.
I can choose it.
I can wait for trust to grow where respect consistently lives.

This is the mantra I’m carrying this year:

I am whole.
I choose safety.
I allow trust to grow where respect lives.

I place these words by my bed and in my phone—
not as pressure, but as a reminder.

And every year, I wear my word.

A bracelet I keep on my wrist as a quiet witness—
not to who I hope to become,
but to who God is already forming.

My friend Loren creates these bracelets with intention and prayer,
and I love that they are made to endure real life—
water, movement, work, tears.

(You can find her on instagram (@shoploreneveryday.)

This year, the word on my wrist is Whole.

Not because life is perfect.
Not because trust is automatic.
But because I believe God is faithful to finish what He starts.

Dear Little Girl,

You don’t have to earn wholeness.
You don’t have to prove it.
You don’t have to wait for anyone else to make you safe before you become yourself.

You are already held.
Already known.
Already being put together by the God of peace.

Walk gently this year.
Stay honest.
Stay rooted.

You are whole.

🩵

Dear Little Girl...The Gift Didn't Leave With the Wrapping Paper

Dear Little Girl…

You made it through the noise.

Through the expectations.
Through the lists and the plans and the pressure to make it all magical.

And here you are now…The house is quiet this morning.

And sitting here, this truth feels holy and clear:

I don’t want to scroll past my life.

One son has already left.
Another will leave soon.
And the miracle I prayed for — all of us together under one roof — came and went in less than two days.

I didn’t realize how much I missed us until we had it again.

Not the perfect version.
Not the Instagram version.
Just us — playing games, laughing, talking, being human together.
Forty hours. I’ll take it.

I tried so hard to be present.
I really did.
But even in the middle of the joy, I felt the pull — the phone, the to-do list, the future creeping in. And now, sitting here in the quiet, I realize how easy it is to miss a moment even while you’re living it.

This Christmas taught me something tender and uncomfortable at the same time:

I learned the real gift isn’t what we open —
it’s the present moment we’re finally willing to receive.

The way a room feels when everyone is home.
The sound of voices overlapping.
The calm that comes when we stop reaching for the next thing and stay with what’s already here.

God meets us here.
Not in the rush.
Not in the comparison.
But in the quiet yes to now.

I’m learning that presence is not passive.
It’s a practice.

When my mind races or my heart tightens, I put both feet on the floor.
I breathe.
I notice what’s right here:
what I can see, hear, touch, smell, taste.

And slowly, my body remembers it’s safe to be here.

Because the present moment keeps me out of a past I can’t change
and a future I can’t control.

Scripture says it plainly:

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
— 2 Corinthians 3:17

I’m beginning to understand that freedom doesn’t mean nothing hurts.
It means I don’t have to run from the moment I’m in.

Christmas didn’t end Thursday.
It’s still unfolding — in the quiet, in the ache, in the gratitude, in the breath I’m taking right now.

Maybe the invitation isn’t to recreate the magic.
Maybe it’s to receive it while it’s here.

So today, I’m putting my phone down a little sooner.
I’m listening a little longer.
I’m letting the gift stay unwrapped.

Because the real gift of Christmas isn’t what we open —
it’s the present moment we’re finally willing to receive.

Dear Little Girl...Let This Be Enough For Today

Dear Little Girl,

Christmas Eve has a way of holding everything at once.

Joy and ache.
Gratitude and longing.
Full rooms and the awareness that time is fleeting.

Today, tonight, you don’t need to resolve any of it.

There are moments when God gives us a gift that isn’t loud or permanent—
just present.

A table that gathers again.
Laughter that feels familiar.
A sense of calm that gently returns, even if only for a night.

Scripture reminds us that God doesn’t write His covenant on stone anymore—
He writes it on hearts (Hebrews 8).

Which means today isn’t about doing more, fixing more, or proving anything.

It’s about remembering.

Remembering how far you’ve come.
Remembering that provision has met you again and again.
Remembering that love still shows up—in imperfect, human ways.

Faith doesn’t always feel like certainty.
Sometimes it feels like lighting a candle in the dark
and trusting that the light is enough for now.

So if your heart feels full and tender right now,
you’re doing Christmas right.

Dear Little Girl,
Let joy be joy without asking it to last forever.
Let peace be peace without demanding it solve tomorrow.
And let this moment be enough for right now.

God is near.
And that is the miracle.

God, thank You for this moment.
For presence instead of answers.
For light instead of certainty.
Help me receive what is here,
and trust You with what comes next.
Amen.

PS…Happy Eve Birthday to Jesus!!!!!

Dear Little Girl...You Can Trust God With the Ones You Love

Dear Little Girl,

There are days when your heart feels stretched so thin, you wonder if it might break. Days when the people you love most seem just out of reach. Days when you show up with open arms and walk away with a heavy heart.

Today is one of those days.

But hear me: you are not alone.

As a parent, as a friend, as a human who loves deeply — there will be moments when you want to hold on tighter, fix it all, make it all feel right again. And yet, sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is open your hands and surrender.

Because love, real love, isn't about control.

It's about trust.

Not trust in people, who are as fragile and flawed as you are. But trust in the One who sees the whole story. The One who has loved them longer than you have. The One who has never left, even when hearts wandered far.

Today you prayed for peace. You prayed for connection. You prayed for soft landings and safe returns.

And here's the truth: God heard you.

Even when it feels like your prayers are carried away on the wind, they land in the very heart of God. Your tears are not unnoticed. Your hope is not wasted. Your love is never unseen.

It's okay to grieve what feels lost. It's okay to feel sad for what you wish could be different. It's okay to acknowledge the ache.

But don't let it close your heart. Don't let it steal your tenderness. Don't let it silence your prayers.

Keep loving. Keep trusting. Keep hoping.

Even when it feels messy. Especially when it feels messy.

Because God specializes in resurrection. In empty tombs. In stories that feel broken beyond repair.

You are doing better than you think. Your love matters more than you know. And one day, you will look back and see — He was holding it all the entire time.

A Question to Reflect On: Where in your life is God asking you to loosen your grip and trust Him more?

A Prayer for the Surrendered Heart

Dear God,
Today I lay down my need to control. I surrender the ones I love into Your capable hands. I trust that You see what I cannot, and You are working even when I cannot feel it.

Give me peace where there is fear.
Give me hope where there is sadness.
Give me faith where there is doubt.

Help me to love with open hands and open heart, just as You love me.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

With hope,
Worthy

Dear Little Girl...You Are Not Required to Hustle to Be Safe

There is a lie so many women are living under, and it’s rarely spoken out loud.

The lie says:
If you slow down, something bad will happen.
If you rest, you’ll lose momentum.
If you cancel, you’ll be punished.
If you stop producing, you’ll stop being worthy.

I know this lie well—because I’ve lived by it.

I’ve hustled not because I love the grind, but because fear told me I had to.
Fear of not enough money.
Fear of being abandoned again.
Fear that if I don’t keep proving my value, everything I’ve built could disappear.

And the truth?
That fear has been quietly killing my nervous system.

When Hustle Becomes a Trauma Response

We don’t talk enough about how hustle can be rooted in trauma.

For many women, especially those who have lived through instability, betrayal, financial fear, or abandonment, pushing through becomes a form of control.

If I keep working, I’ll be okay.
If I keep showing up, I won’t be left.
If I keep producing, I won’t be forgotten.

But here’s what I’m learning the hard way:

What once protected me is now hurting me.

My body has started speaking louder than my mind.
My sleep has been disrupted.
My nervous system has been overloaded.
Even the data—my Oura ring—finally said what my soul already knew:

“Your body is under major stress.”

And still… I argued with myself.

“I could probably still do it.”
“It’s $125.”
“I don’t want to let anyone down.”
“What if my business suffers?”

But the deeper question whispered underneath all of that was this:

At what cost?

The Day I Canceled—and Didn’t Collapse

I canceled a session recently because I simply wasn’t up for it.

And instead of relief, guilt rushed in.

That guilt wasn’t about the client.
It was about an old belief that says rest is dangerous.

That if I pause, I’ll lose something.
That if I choose myself, I’ll be punished.
That if I don’t push through, I’ll pay for it later.

But here’s what didn’t happen:

My business didn’t fall apart.
God didn’t withdraw His provision.
The ground didn’t open up beneath me.

What did happen?

I listened to my body.
I honored my healing.
I showed up for myself.

And for the first time, I saw clearly:

Pushing through has been punishing me.

Hustle Is Not the Same as Faithfulness

Somewhere along the way, many of us confused exhaustion with obedience.

We thought:
Being tired meant we were doing enough.
Being depleted meant we were faithful.
Being constantly “on” meant we were responsible.

But rest is not rebellion.
Healing is not laziness.
Listening to your body is not a lack of discipline.

You are not more worthy when you are worn down.
You are not safer when you are exhausted.
And you are not more lovable when you ignore your limits.

God has never asked us to destroy ourselves to prove our trust.

Dear Little Girl…
You are allowed to rest without everything falling apart.

You are allowed to cancel without being punished.
You are allowed to heal without hustling.
You are allowed to trust that provision doesn’t disappear when you pause.

Money is not your protector.
Productivity is not your savior.
And fear is a terrible boss.

You were never meant to carry your life by yourself.

What is meant for you will not be taken because you chose rest.
What is built with God will not collapse because you listened to your body.
What is sustainable will still be there when you come back.

This season isn’t about doing less forever.
It’s about learning that you don’t have to suffer to be safe.

And maybe—just maybe—
when enough women stop hustling for worth,
our bodies will heal,
our homes will breathe again,
and our kiddos will learn a different way.

One where rest is holy.
Trust is practiced.
And love is not earned through exhaustion.

Dear Little Girl...Grace Grows in the Awkward

Dear Little Girl,
You think growth should feel confident by now.
Smooth. Natural. Impressive.

But instead, it still feels awkward.

You’re learning things you thought would come easily.
You’re standing in rooms where you’re not the expert.
You’re paying attention instead of performing.
And part of you wonders if that means you’re behind.

It doesn’t.

Some of the most sacred learning happens quietly —
in observation, in humility, in seasons where nothing is being showcased.

This fall taught you that grace doesn’t always arrive with applause.
Sometimes it shows up through watching.
Listening.
Asking questions.
Letting others lead while you take notes in your heart.

You’re learning that growth isn’t just choreography —
it’s awareness.
Timing.
Discernment.
Knowing when to step forward and when to step back.

And that lesson is spilling into everything.

Into motherhood — where waiting and watching feels heavier when outcomes aren’t clear.
Into marriage — where tenderness and hope are learning to coexist.
Into work — where small yeses are quietly opening doors you didn’t force.

The studio is closed now.
The calendar has softened.
And in the stillness, God is showing you this truth:

You don’t have to rush what is forming.

What feels awkward today is becoming wisdom.
What feels unfinished is still being held.
What feels uncertain is not unprotected.

God does some of His best work in the in-between —
when you’re no longer who you were,
but not yet who you’re becoming.

So rest, little girl.
Let grace catch up with you.
Let learning be holy.
Let growth be gentle.

You are not behind.
You are becoming.

Reflection

Where are you being invited to learn — not perform — in this season?

Scripture

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.”
— Philippians 1:6

Dear Little Girl, You Can Let the Old Voices Go

🌿 Dear Little Girl, You Can Let the Old Voices Go

When God uses dreams, healing work, and holy nudges to set your heart free.

Last night your mind replayed a story your body has carried for years—

a story of mixed messages,
of tenderness that flipped without warning,
of love and rejection woven together so tightly that your nervous system learned to brace for impact before joy ever had a chance to land.

Dreams like this don’t come to punish you.
They come to free you.

🌙 The Dream That Wasn’t a Warning — But a Release

You saw yourself dancing…
not as the little girl trying to earn approval,
but as the grown woman reclaiming what was always hers.

You were practicing your splits at 55 —
not to prove something,
but to whisper back into your own heart:

“Look, baby girl…
we made it.
We are still here.”

And then your dad appeared.

Not in disappointment.
Not in criticism.
Just… there. Coming toward you.
Present. Warm. Whole.

It felt like the blessing your soul always hoped for.

A moment of repair.
A moment of healing.
A moment where the wound and the longing finally met the truth.

That part of the dream was a gift.

⚡ Then Came the Whiplash

the phone call —
not from your dad,
not from anyone who ever loved you well,
but from the part of your past that held both comfort and chaos.
The voice that could bless in one breath
and bruise in the next.

That wasn’t God.
And it certainly wasn’t your dad.
It was your nervous system replaying an old pattern-

the emotional whiplash you once survived without having language for it-

So God finally brought it into the light to be released.
A voice that once felt familiar.
Where tenderness could turn sharp,
where warmth could freeze into accusation without warning.

But this time?

You woke up.

You recognized it.

And instead of absorbing it like you used to,
your spirit said:

“This isn’t God.
This isn’t truth.
This is old trauma leaving my body.”

What a miracle.

💛 The Healing Beneath the Surface

Your dream wasn’t chaos.
It was clarity.

It was your nervous system releasing what EMDR has stirred up —
the last fragments of fear, confusion, and mixed messages that your younger self once carried silently.

It was your body letting go of the belief that:

love is unstable,
safety is unpredictable,
and tenderness can turn to harm in an instant.

Those were lies you learned to survive.
They are not the truth you’re meant to live.

✨ The Truth Heaven Speaks Over You

Sweet girl…

You are not an animal.
You are not the cause of anyone’s chaos.
You are not the one who needed to be “better” to be safe or loved.

You are precious
—not conditionally,
not inconsistently,
not until someone changes their mind—
but because Heaven says so.

God has never raised His voice at you.
His love has no whiplash.
His affection never flips.
His tenderness is not earned.
His presence is steady and unwavering.

Your dream wasn’t a warning.
It was a washing.

A holy untangling.
A releasing of what your body no longer needs to hold.
A clearing of old fear to make room for peace.

God is showing you what is leaving
so He can fill those places with Himself.

🌱 You Are Becoming the Woman Who Is Free

You’re allowed to step into the woman who:

can dance again,
can take up space,
can feel safe in her own body,
can hold joy without flinching,
can live without waiting for the other shoe to drop,
can trust that healing is happening layer by layer.

You’re not going backward.
You’re healing.
You’re becoming whole.

🙏 A Prayer for the Healing Girl Inside Me

Jesus,
thank You for revealing what is ready to be released—
not to shame me,
but to set me free.

Thank You for showing me that I am not the voices that wounded me,
and I am not the trauma that shaped me.

Heal the places my mind remembers
and the places my body still holds.

Give me the courage to trust Your voice
above every voice that ever named me the wrong thing.

Fill me with Your peace,
Your truth,
and Your steady love.

Teach me to walk as the woman You created—
whole, worthy, precious, and free.

Amen.

💬 If You’re Curious About EMDR or Healing From Trauma…

EMDR has been one of the most powerful tools God is using in my healing.
If you’re wondering whether it might help you too, message me.
I’m happy to share what it is, how it works, and how it’s helping me finally let go of the old stories and live in freedom.

You don’t have to heal alone. 🤍

Want A Cup of Coffee? (A Re-Introduction)

If you’ve been here a while, you know my mornings start the same way—
☀️ A quiet house
☕ A cup of coffee
🪑🪑 And two chairs

Every morning in my stories you’ll usually see a snapshot of that moment—my mug, my Bible, sometimes my dogs, sometimes the ocean, sometimes tears, sometimes peace. But I realized many of you may not know where that practice began…or why I keep showing up there nearly every day of my life.

So here’s the truth:
Two years ago, when my marriage was breaking apart and my heart felt like it had shattered into a thousand pieces, I didn’t know where to go. I couldn’t fix what was broken. I couldn’t predict the future. And I couldn’t make anything make sense.

But I could sit down.
I could breathe.
I could ask God to meet me.

And He did.

Not in lightning bolts. Not in a booming voice.
But in quiet, steady presence.

Back in January of 2023, my boss Donna handed me a book called 2 Chairs.
Simple. Almost silly, really.
But something in me was desperate enough to try anything.

The premise is this:
Set out two chairs.
One for you.
One for God.

Show up.
Talk.
Listen.
Let Him love you.

In that season, listening was the hardest part for me. Honestly, it still is. My instinct—even now—is to fill the silence with worry, with problem solving, with “what if’s,” with trying to hold every relationship in my life together with my bare hands.

But Two Chairs taught me something:
God speaks in stillness.
And stillness requires surrender.

Back then, I sat in those chairs because I was desperate.
Today, I sit in them because I’m devoted.

Back then, I needed rescue.
Today, I need grounding.

Back then, I didn’t know who I was without the life I thought I’d have.
Today, I’m discovering who I actually am—and who God has been shaping me into all along.

Is everything perfect?
No. We’ve come a long way, but we’re still doing the work. Some weeks feel steady. Some weeks feel shaky—like counseling this week, which knocked the wind out of me in ways I didn’t expect.

But do I face those moments alone anymore?
Absolutely not.

Because every morning, I pull up a chair…and so does God.

Two Chairs has become less of a practice and more of a lifeline. A conversation. A rhythm. A friendship. A place where I don’t have to pretend. Where I don’t have to fix. Where I don’t have to earn love or keep the world from falling apart.

I show up.
He’s already there.

And I want that for you too.

If you’re in a season of grief, anxiety, uncertainty, rebuilding, shock, transition, or just plain exhaustion—try it. For one week. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Don’t overthink it.

Make space.
Make room.
Make time.

You might crumble the first day—I did.
You might ugly cry—I did. Still do at times.
You might sit in silence and feel nothing—I did and still do some days.

But you also might feel a peace you can’t explain.
A whisper of hope.
A nudge.
A breath.
A settling.
A sense that you are not alone.

Because you’re not.
And you never were.

So…
What do you say?

Want to pull up two chairs?
I’ll bring the coffee.

Until Next Time,
XO,
Amy
aka Worthy

My two charis….

Dear Little Girl...Let God's Kindness Flow Through You

Little girl…
Sometimes God hands you a moment so surprising, so undeserved, so humbling that the only thing you can do is whisper: “This is holy.”

This week, I won an award I never expected —
a community spotlight in special education.
An award for kindness.

Kindness.
The very thing Jesus teaches.
The very thing He keeps forming in me through the children who’ve become my greatest teachers —
children who show me vulnerability, joy, honesty, strength, and freedom without even trying.

And as I held the flowers and certificate, I could feel it —
God planting something deeper:
“Daughter, I’m stirring something in you. Just receive this for now.”

But right in the same breath of celebration…
life handed me something hard.
A friend struggling.
Others feeling the weight of her pain.
And a request:
“Can you step in and help?”

And my spirit whispered back:
This is the real award.
This is where kindness matters most.
Where compassion looks like presence.
Where love costs something.
Where Jesus asks you to show up like Him — steady, gentle, understanding, believing the best.

Little girl…
This is what spiritual maturity looks like:

Holding both the joy and the need.
Holding the award and the assignment.
Holding the celebration and the compassion.

Because you’ve walked through darkness.
Because you know the weight of mental battles.
Because you’ve loved someone through storms most people never see.
Because God has shaped you into a woman who can walk into someone else’s pain
without judgment, without fear,
with hands and heart wide open.

And maybe THAT is the real spotlight today.

Not the Award.
Not the applause.

But the quiet, unseen moment where you step into a hurting room and carry Jesus with you.

Little girl…
Your kindness isn’t accidental.
It’s anointed.

✨ Prayer

Jesus, help me carry Your kindness wherever You lead me.
Let my presence soften heavy rooms.
Let my compassion lift those who are struggling.
Guard my heart from judgment.
Fill me with love that looks like You.
And teach me to receive Your blessings without rushing ahead~
trusting that You know exactly what You’re stirring next.
Amen.

Dear Little Girl...The Way Pain Teaches Us To Stand Taller

Dear Little Girl,

Today my Dad would’ve been 90 years old.

And maybe that’s why everything morning feels a little tender ~
memory, gratitude, ache, and wonder all braided together.

I miss him.
His voice.
His presence.
His steadiness.
The way he could anchor a room with just a look.

But I also see something now that I couldn’t see then:

God was kind in the timing.
I don’t think Dad’s heart could have handled watching the darkest parts of the storm we later walked through.
So God, in His mercy, let him slip into Heaven before the weight of it ever touched him.

And today, on his birthday, this truth hit me hard:

I handled my hardest season the way he handled his.

With my head high.
With grace I didn’t know I possessed.
With dignity he modeled long before I realized I was learning from him.

When life cracked open…
When fear and confusion swallowed the air around me…
When I had to hold myself and my boys together with shaking hands —

I didn’t smear anyone.
I didn’t speak hate.
I didn’t crumble in public.
I kept walking.
Quiet. Steady. Becoming stronger than anyone knew.

And today, I am proud of her —
that version of me who refused to let bitterness have the final word.

Dad used to tap the kitchen table with one finger and say:

“Duck, it’s the law of radiation and attraction.
You get what you give.”

And in so many ways, that one sentence has shaped my whole life.

Relationships shift.
Some become distant.
Some stay close.
Some carry tender spots we don’t know how to navigate.

But I’m learning something sacred:

Not every gap is mine to close.
Not every silence is mine to fill.
Not every wound is mine to heal.
And I am allowed — completely allowed — to protect my peace.

And on this first day of December,
I’m grateful.

Grateful for healing beneath the surface.
Grateful for the quiet rebuilding inside my marriage.
Grateful for the small miracles happening in my boys.
Grateful that steadiness is returning to my home.
Grateful for the woman I’m becoming — one sunrise, one prayer, one breath at a time.

So today, in honor of my Daddy Boy,
I’m choosing to radiate
light,
love,
peace,
and compassion —

the very things he lived,
and the very things God is still shaping inside me.

Happy Birthday, Daddy Boy.
I hope my light reaches you all the way in Heaven.

Dear Little Girl...Lean Toward the Light

Some seasons don’t shout.
They whisper.

They pull you into stillness.
They quiet the noise.
They soften your heart.
They make room for God to speak.

The days after Thanksgiving always feel like holy ground to me—
a sacred pause where gratitude settles in deeper than the meal,
deeper than the gathering,
deeper than the noise.

This year, that quiet feels different.
It feels like rest.
Real rest.
The kind your nervous system recognizes before your brain does.

Slow mornings.
Soft rain.
Coffee with God.
Dogs curled up at your feet.
A house that finally feels steady again.
A heart learning to unclench.
A husband and son laughing at the lake instead of walking on eggshells.

It’s gratitude wrapped in peace.

Yesterday, as Trey rested on the couch, you caught a glimpse of that old college love again—the “I can’t believe this man is mine” kind of love you used to feel long before the years got complicated.

That wasn’t nostalgia.
That was grace.
A flicker of God whispering,
“Look how far I’ve carried you. Look at what I can still do.”

Back in Acts 9 this morning, you saw yourself in Saul again—
the way God takes a person’s weaknesses, flips them over,
and uses them as the very place His glory shows up.

The mess becomes the message.
The broken becomes the bridge.
The darkness becomes the place where light finally wins.

And something inside you softened:

“God… can You turn my weaknesses into strengths too?
Can You use my marriage? My heart? My story? Me?”
And heaven answered,
Yes. That’s what I do.

And so…

You’re learning who you are when life slows down.
When the house is peaceful and everyone feels steady.
When you’re not bracing for the next shift or trying to carry what was never yours to carry.

You’re learning to rest.
You’re learning to breathe.
You’re learning to stay in the calm without waiting for the next storm.

You’re learning who you are in the quiet—
when your heart finally has room,
when peace is allowed to land,
and when hope has space to rise again.

And maybe this is the real miracle of the weekend after Thanksgiving:

Like a flower, you are finally learning to lean toward the light.

Amen.

🍁 DEAR LITTLE GIRL… LET GRATITUDE STEADY YOUR HEART (A Thanksgiving Devotional)

Dear Little Girl,

Before you rush into the noise of cooking, cleaning, hosting, or showing up in rooms that hold both comfort and tension…

Pause.

Breathe.

Put your hand on your heart for a moment.

Feel it?
That steady rhythm?
That’s grace — alive, beating, holding you.

Thanksgiving isn’t just a holiday.
It’s a moment to remember the God who holds you together in ways you don’t even see.

And this year, sweet girl, gratitude might look a little different for you.

You’ve walked through valleys.
You’ve weathered storms.
You’ve held your breath during seasons you didn’t think you could survive.
You’ve navigated moods, triggers, diagnoses, disappointments, boundaries, and the ache of old hurt surfacing right when you want peace.

Yet somehow — here you are.

Still standing.
Still learning.
Still loving.
Still growing.
Still seeking God in the quiet corners of your morning.

That alone is worth a thousand thank-yous.

But let’s go deeper…

Because gratitude isn’t pretending everything feels easy.
Gratitude is naming the goodness of God in spite of the hard.

Gratitude is what steadies your heart when life sways.

And maybe this Thanksgiving…

You’re grateful that forgiveness didn’t break you — it rebuilt you.
You’re grateful that boundaries don’t mean bitterness — they mean wisdom.
You’re grateful that the people who once triggered you no longer have the same power.
You’re grateful for the healing God has been doing in your marriage — quietly, slowly, gently.
You’re grateful for your boys — their laughter, their humor, their faith, their strength, their growth.
You’re grateful for community — the ones who stayed, the ones who left, and the ones who taught you who you want to be.
You’re grateful for the way God meets you every single morning in your cozy spot with coffee and an open heart.
You’re grateful for the stumbles that taught you how to walk in grace again and again.
You’re grateful that even on the days you feel undone… God is not shaken.

And maybe you’re especially grateful for this:

The woman you’re becoming.

A woman who knows peace doesn’t mean perfection.
A woman who knows rest is not laziness.
A woman who knows God uses ordinary days and quiet moments to shape extraordinary faith.
A woman who knows she doesn’t have to match anyone else’s pace or expectations — because her calling comes from Heaven, not from people.

So today, Dear Little Girl…

Give thanks for where you are.
Give thanks for how far you’ve come.
Give thanks for the God who never leaves you where He found you.

And give thanks for the revelation that has changed everything:

Gratitude isn’t something you feel.
It’s something you choose — and it steadies your heart every time.

Happy Thanksgiving, sweet girl.
You are held.
You are guided.
You are growing.
You are so very loved.

With a grateful heart,
Worthy 🤍🍁

Dear Little Girl...You're Not That Girl Anymore

You were strong when you didn’t want to be.
You held your breath and held your home together.
You said yes when your heart whispered no.
You laughed with a monkey on your back—
carrying expectations, pressure, peacekeeping,
and responsibilities no one else saw.

And somehow… you still smiled.

But inside, you were breaking.
You didn’t think you were allowed to put the load down.
To say this is too heavy.
To let go of the lies.
To stop hustling for love.
To finally whisper: I can’t carry this anymore.

But then something shifted.

You stopped trying to hold everything by yourself.
You started coming to the One who actually could.
Slowly… quietly… God began lifting the weight.
And without even realizing it,
you became someone new.

The girl who once broke herself to stay loved?
She’s gone.

Now, you know your worth.
Now, you breathe before you react.
Now, you trust the Shepherd
more than the spotlight,
the schedule,
or the approval.

And yes—life may still get messy.
People may still be people.
Drama may still swirl like dust in the wind.

But guess what?

God keeps fulfilling His promises—
even through the dust, even through the noise,
even through the moments you wish were different.
(Genesis 30:30-ish, paraphrased)

So no, Little Girl…
you’re not that girl anymore.

You’re not shrinking.
You’re not striving.
You’re not hustling to be enough.

You’re standing in love.
You’re walking in healing.
You’re letting the monkeys fall off one by one.
And you’re doing it beautifully.

A Prayer for the One Who’s Finally Letting Go

Jesus,
Thank You for carrying what I never should have tried to hold alone.
Thank You for seeing me when I was smiling on the outside
but breaking on the inside.
For staying near when I was buried under pressure, pain, and pretending.
For whispering, You don’t have to prove anything to be loved.

Help me keep shedding the old stories—
the ones that told me I had to hustle to matter,
be perfect to be accepted,
or carry it all to stay safe.

Make me into the woman You created me to be:
the one who trusts You more than the noise,
the one who chooses rest over performance,
the one who lets You lift the weight.

And when life feels messy or dramatic,
remind me that You still fulfill Your promises.
You still see me.
You still choose me.
And I never have to carry anything alone again.
Amen.

Dear Little Girl...It's Ok To Pause

Dear Little Girl,

You used to yell when things felt out of control. You’d cry, lash out, try to manipulate outcomes, or fill silence with fear.

But now?
Now you’re learning how to pause.

You’re learning that sometimes space is sacred.
Sometimes, it’s holy ground.

Yesterday’s rehearsal wasn’t perfect — people were missing, spacing was off — but you didn’t fall apart. You noticed it, adjusted, kept going. And afterward, you didn’t spiral. You thanked God.

That’s growth.

You’re not the same girl who used to kick and scream to feel seen. Now you know you are seen — by God, and by the ones who truly love you. You’re learning to respond instead of react, to pray instead of push, to retreat without abandoning yourself.

But here’s the thing:
Even fleeing can be a trauma response when it’s driven by fear rather than faith. So let’s find your new middle ground — the one that lets you feel without freezing, act without exploding, love without losing yourself.

Because you don’t have to disappear to protect your peace.
And you don’t have to perform to be loved.

You’re not required to get everything right.
You’re only asked to trust.

And when you trust, there is grace for every mistake, every stumble, every skipped step.

So today, pause.
Not out of fear — but because peace is yours to claim.

A Question to Journal On

When life feels too loud, what does it look like for you to pause without shutting down?

A Prayer for the Girl Learning to Respond, Not React

Dear God,
Thank You for showing me a better way — a gentler way. I’m tired of spiraling and snapping. I want to pause in Your presence and find strength there.
Teach me to give space without shutting off.
To sit with You instead of sitting in fear.
Thank You for staying close when I pull away.
You always bring me back.
I trust that You are growing something new in me.
I trust that You are healing the places I used to hide.
Keep walking with me, Lord. I’m listening.

Amen.

With love,
Worthy 🩵

Dear Little Girl...The Soul-Filling Power of Saying Yes

Dear Little Girl,
I know how safe home feels to you.
The soft places. The quiet spaces.
The predictable rhythm of your couch, your blanket, your familiar rituals.

Home has held you through so much.
It’s where you’ve healed.
It’s where you’ve rested when the world felt too loud, too heavy, too uncertain.

And truthfully?
There were years you were just tired.
Emotionally tired.
Relationally tired.
Heart-tired.

You poured out in ways most people will never see.
You carried things that would drain anyone, and somewhere along the way,
No became your lifeline.
Your boundary.
Your protection.

But slowly—so quietly you didn’t even notice—
No also became isolation.
It became the safest escape.
It became the easiest answer.
And even this brave little people-pleaser found comfort in disappearing.

Because when you’ve been disappointed by people…
When you’ve been the one holding the emotional weight…
When you don’t know who you can trust with your story…
Staying home feels easier than risking connection.

But last night, you said yes anyway.
Not out of obligation.
Not to perform.
Not to please.

You rearranged your schedule—your work, your privates, your plans—
and you did something rare:
You did something just for you.

You went to the show.
You met with friends.
You stepped toward joy even though your tank wasn’t full.
And what waited for you there…
was not exhaustion.
Not overwhelm.
But laughter.
Lightness.
Warmth.
A reminder that connection doesn’t always drain—
sometimes, it gently restores.

Dear Little Girl,
sometimes the holiest thing you can do
is say a quiet, brave yes to joy.

Not the heavy yes that costs you more than you have.
Not the yes that sends you back into people-pleasing.
But the yes that fills your soul in ways home can’t.

You can trust God with that yes.
Trust Him to guide your steps.
Trust Him to send the right people—
the ones who don’t need drama to feel important,
who don’t disappear when things get hard,
who don’t demand a version of you that costs your peace.

You were made for connection.
And it’s safe to be loved again.
It’s safe to receive joy again.
It’s safe to come out of the cocoon—
even slowly, even tenderly, even still healing.

Because sometimes…
the blessing is waiting outside the comfort zone,
just one yes away.

Prayer

God,
Thank You for knowing when my heart needs rest
and when it needs connection.
Thank You for whispering invitations into my life—
gentle nudges that remind me joy isn’t something I have to earn.

Help me discern when to step back
and when to step out.
Protect my heart as I learn to trust again.
Surround me with people who lift, not drain—
who reflect Your kindness, Your steadiness, Your truth.

Thank You for last night’s sweetness,
for laughter,
for reminders that I’m not alone,
and for showing me that saying yes can be holy.

I trust You with my heart,
my relationships,
and every yes that leads me closer to who You’re shaping me to be.

Amen.

Dear Little Girl...Be Present With What Is Right In Front Of You

Sometimes we don’t realize we’re in the middle of a blessing because our eyes are fixed on what we think we need next.

This morning, I woke up feeling off. My shoulder ached, my mind was racing, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was just... unsettled. But as I sat with it—really sat with it—I felt that quiet nudge: look around.

In Genesis 25, Esau gives away his birthright. Scripture says he despised it.
And then there’s Eve, standing in a garden overflowing with abundance—yet she couldn’t see it. All she saw was the one thing she couldn’t have.

And I thought… how often have I done the same? How often have I stood in the middle of answered prayers, only to grumble, question, or worry?

It’s so easy to brace for disappointment when you’ve been hurt before. To guard your heart instead of opening it. But what if today is different? What if the prayer you’ve been praying is already unfolding quietly, right in front of you?

That doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It just means it’s worth seeing.

So today, I’m asking God to help me stay present. To notice the love that’s already here. To trust that healing takes time. And to give thanks in the middle—not just at the end.

A question to reflect on:
Where might you be overlooking a blessing because fear or past pain is clouding your view?

A prayer for presence and peace:
Dear God,
I don’t want to miss what’s right in front of me. Help me not to fixate on what I fear or what I lack, but to see the beauty You’ve placed in this very moment. Quiet the noise in my head so I can hear Your whisper of truth. Remind me that gratitude opens the door to peace. And when I start to spiral, bring me back to center—to You. To joy. To presence.
Amen.

With love,
Worthy