The Juicy Joy of Serving
I have heard it said that the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. Have you ever heard this? Do you buy into it? I know I do and as we wrap up our theme for 2019 I really want to look at service and what it can do for you and for me.
I started out this January writing about why I hate New Year’s Resolutions and I shared my theme for this year which is “GUTS”.
G-Gratitude
U-understanding
T-Transformation
and today I want to focus on the “S” in GUTS which is service.
Service -the action of helping or doing work for someone
Why service? Because I firmly believe by reaching out to help others we move beyond ourselves and it is there that we grow. When you are truly serving others the mindset shifts from ‘me’ to ‘we’. We slowly get out of ourselves and we begin to truly discover how much we have to offer this world and how much the world needs us. Us! Not our knowledge but our hearts full of love, our ears ready to listen, and our hands willing to help others. Sure our pocket books help. They help a lot! But you and me being present helps more.
Why? Because as my father has always said, “The world is made up entirely of people”. People who are hurting, people who are scared, people who are sick, people who are poor….People who need people like you and me to listen, love, and help where we can. People who can look them in the eye and say, “I am here, I will listen.” People who can hold their hand when they are scared. People who can rub their back or just sit with them when they are sick. People who can help them build when they have nothing. People! People! People! People who can be empathetic, who can relate, who can listen, who can help, who can love.
When you change your mindset to a mindset of serving powerful things begin to happen. Your heart becomes naturally a heart full of gratitude and all the self centeredness begins to slowly dissipate and you find yourself full of joy. So all the time you are serving others it is really coming back to you two fold! When you find yourself full of joy what greater gift is that?
When I was single I did a lot of serving. It was just me and my four dogs. Yep, I was that girl….four dogs and a cat to be exact. I digress….back to serving. I like to think it all started in elementary. I remember there was this girl Tracy who came to our class often. She was in an orange wheel chair. I know now, but I did not know then, she probably has or had cerebral palsy. She drooled a lot and made noises but could not talk. She and I became friends. I am not really sure how since she could not talk, but I think it is because I was not scared of her and I would hold her hand and brush her hair with my hands. She had short, dark, hair I remember and sometimes it got drool in it, but I did not care. One day Tracy brought me juicy fruit gum! I was so proud and I could see and feel she was too. We had our communication Tracy and I. It worked for us and we were friends. I like to think my heart of service started at Woodland Elementary, in Graham, Texas, with an orange wheel chair, a gal by the name of Tracy who could not talk, but could make noises and drool. You know what else she could do? She brought me joy! Joy when she would react to something I said or did and EXTREME JOY when she brought me juicy fruit. To this day when I see Juicy Fruit gum I say a prayer for Tracy and I smile.
You see, my little acts of touching her hands, talking to her knowing she could not talk, or brushing her hair, made Tracy feel loved, but the gift I received unknowingly as an elementary kiddo has been amazing! Think about it. EVERY TIME I see Juicy Fruit I well with joy. What a gift that is. That gift carried over and in college my husband Trey and I would volunteer at Camp John Marc. An amazing camp for kids with terminal illnesses. From there I volunteered at Challenge Aspen, Buckner, The Clayton Dabney Foundation, the LLSA, and now our Church. What I started realizing is my passion is I like working with kids. Preferably sick kids, but kids. How do I know this? Because I tried working with Young Lives and while they are kids I know where my passion lies and my heart was not there. My point is. Where is your heart? Maybe yours is with the elderly? Or with the homeless? Or the underprivileged? Abused Women? Addiction Centers? Veterans? I am not sure, but I promise you there is an organization out there that could use you and believe it or not you could use. You just have to find it. Sometimes that takes time.
How to figure out where?
Like I said this can take time. Like anything else in life it is trial and error. I knew the year I signed up to volunteer with Young Lives it was not for me. Not because of the kids per say, because I fell in love with my two little teen mamas, but it was the time I needed to put in that I did not have in this season in life. Right now my time is best served at our church, with my own children, doing mission trips or being a group leader at our Women’s Retreat. That is just the season I am in. No way could I do what I was doing when I was single. It was amazing and I hope to do it all again someday, but I have to keep my priorities straight and so do you so that giving back is not a drain, a stress, or worse something you hate.
Look at your season of life and figure out what works for you right now. Maybe it is serving at your child’s school or helping at a school with underprivileged children. Maybe it is a soup kitchen. Maybe it is the foster care system, or your church, the point is there is plenty of need in this world. Challenge yourself! If you have never served maybe set the goal of doing one thing this year. Just one thing! Or maybe something once a month, or each quarter for someone else. If you serve often, maybe make that goal a little loftier like a mission trip…..whatever it is think about it, pray on it, and I promise the door will open. There is so much need for service and love in this world. Together let’s fill the need and watch what happens to your mindset and your heart.
The season of life I am in now requires me to be bring Graeme along to serve, but think of what that is doing for him as an individual! Don’t let having kids stop you. Bring them! Graeme LOVED mission trip!
If you need help finding an organization, I am committed to helping you. Just message me your interests or desires. I will research things. I am willing to do that! Do you know why? Because I want you to experience the Juicy Joy of Serving!
Until Next Time,
XO,
Amy
Need a real life story to inspire you. Check this one out! This story will move you and motivate you to want to change the world. One person at a time.
Transformation Is A Choice!
So we are mid January and by now the majority of people who have set their resolutions are giving up. This is just based on statistics. Not necessarily what I think, but I will say if I had a resolution I would PROBABLY be a statistic. I know me. I would come up with some kind of excuse as to why it was ok to not get to the gym, have that glass of wine or cocktail, spend that extra $50, whatever it was I would certainly have cheated by now! IF not given up completely! So I said goodbye to resolutions and now I go with themes.
This years theme if you have been following me is “GUTS”. I like it! I like it a lot and for many reasons. Mainly because last year showed me I have guts! So I decided to carry it over to 2019. We started with G-gratitude and we moved to U-understanding….now we get to the stuff that is only for you as an individual! T-transformation.
TRANSFORMATION-a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance; a metamorphosis during the life cycle of an animal (I guess we are animals)!
Transformation is a choice! A choice you must make with yourself and only yourself. No one else has a say in this. It is up to you! You have to decide what it is you want to be or do and you have to put your mind to it! Transformation is hard, but the reward is GREAT if you decide to do something positive.
Me and my sweet Mom……
About 2 years ago in June, I was coming out of my fog from my mothers death. I remember thinking I wanted more. I wanted to do something big and something positive in my life. For me it meant I had to look at a lot of things and make hard choices because I knew it would be a big change. I had to decide what was important and how to prioritize that. It meant I might lose some friends. It meant life would be different for me. It meant I would be uncomfortable at times. It was downright scary.
I personally was caught up in the whirlwind of trying to be like everyone else and the truth is I was lonely. Sure I had a ton of friends, but I was so lonely because I was trying to keep up and be like them. Let me make something very clear here….THIS WAS NOT ON THEM! They had nothing to do with me trying to keep up with “the Jones’s”! That was all on me! My insecurities! My fears! My choices! This boiled down to me not being true to myself for fear of others not liking me!
I decided that June in 2017 I LOVED me and I was going to get ME back! In order to do that I had to have a game plan. Why you might be asking? Because I had a lot of years of practice trying to keep up and be what I thought my friends, family, acquaintances, you name it wanted me to be. So I had to undo all that work and start anew. I had to form healthy habits to win me back. I am still forming healthy habits to win me back and guys I am more fulfilled now than I have ever been. Sure I have bad days….sometimes really bad days! Sure I fall prey to going back to the “old Amy”. Sure I get lazy and retreat back….want to know what happens then? Well, since I have had almost 1.5 years of hard work, I am able to spot it and say “STOP! Amy STOP! Let’s take a look at why this fear, insecurity, need, or want has crept up.” Do I always stop? NO! I am human, but, I do pull it together somehow and get back on track.
HOW and WHY
I think it is because my transformation journey started with God. It started with me forming the daily habit of getting up at 5:45 most mornings and doing my first 15. From there I added more exercise, eating healthy, journaling, positive self help books, positive podcast, and surrounding myself with positive and like minded people. My latest addition to my transformation journey is continuing education.
All of this seems overwhelming I know. Just reading back makes me a little stressed! But, I promise you it is easy and this week I will take you through how to do it IF you too want more. IF you too want to make some changes. IF you too feel lonely. IF you too have fears. AND IF you too want to be more.
I am here to tell you, YOU can be more if you want to be more! Some people are very happy with where they are and that is GREAT! But if you have a little voice in you saying, '“You can do and be more, you are more!”, maybe try one of these how to’s and see where you go.
If you want my opinion I think you should start with your first 15. My honest opinion is you have to form one habit at a time. And honest to God, I did my research and the myth is that it takes an individual 21 days. That is not true. Each of us is unique and different in our own ways. A habit takes anywhere from 18 days to 8.5 months! The norm is 66 days!!!!! So go easy on on yourself. I fall into the range of 50-55 days I am noticing. So take your time. Start where YOU want to start. I started with getting up before anyone else in my home and spending a minimum of 15 minutes with God. That has grown now and I have added praying on my knees. That has been POWERFUL for me. (I see another blog post right there)! But, just the simple act of getting up and being alone with our Creator, Our Father in Heaven, has been the BIGGEST and the BEST change I have made. It helps me to get grounded and to remember He has me. No matter what He has me and I am His child which makes me Worthy and loved! Guess what my friend, you are too!
So as this week progresses I will talk to you more about ways to transform IF you want to and IF you are ready. But it has to be what YOU want! If you are ready…..join me on this journey….I promise it is AMAZING, SCARY, BEAUTIFUL, and LIFE CHANGING! And side note….your friends will still love you! Mine do! How can they not when you are changing for the better?
Until next time!
XO,
Amy
This is where it all began for me! This book! My habit of the first 15 was so easy because of this book! I swear! Get it and maybe it can help you start to form your first 15 habit! If you do, tell me about it! I want to hear how God is working in you!!!!!
Heart of Understanding
Have you ever considered how it takes guts to really look into your own heart and other’s hearts to really understand the challenges unique to each of us? Why do I say this? I say this because if you truly look into your own heart or that of another, you might love what you see or worse you could hate or disagree with what you see and then what? Well that is when understanding comes into play which takes guts and love! Something this world needs more of!
Challenge
I wrote last week about gratitude and I truly believe if you start and end your day with gratitude this challenge will be fairly easy. What is the challenge I speak of? The challenge is a heart of understanding. Understanding of yourself and understanding of others. When this happens a beautiful thing called grace happens.
I define grace as unmerited forgiveness, unmerited love, unmerited acceptance of a weakness or fault you or someone else might have.
Wow that is pretty big! Accepting, loving, and forgiving others who don’t deserve it! Well, guess what my dear friend and reader….we don’t and we have been given this beautiful gift! Did you know that God sent his one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to die on a cross for you and for me and in return we are to love! Love with grace and understanding. It is such a simple request, yet it is so hard to do. Especially when we don’t have the same belief systems, ideas, or dreams. It gets kind of sticky. But, there is a way and we can all do it, but we have to open our hearts and minds to it. It is simple….we must listen…..really listen to one another.
Listening, truly listening is an art. Hearing is a physical activity. Listening is a skill. Most people when they are listening, are listening with the intent to respond. That is not good. That says, “I want to be heard. I don’t care what you have to say.” Or they play the game of, “Yes but….” What good does this do? You win the verbal exchange because yours was better? Well how does that leave you feeling? Bigger and better? Really? For me it leaves me feeling somewhat like a bully and questioning why I always have to one up someone? Sometimes all someone wants is a person to just hear them. Not fix them or try and make them feel better and definitely they do not want to be one upped! They definitely do not want or need to hear, “Oh ya, well, guess what my child did….or my husband….or that happened to me and…..” You get the picture. All they want is to be heard. Being heard, really heard, is very healing for a person.
In order to do this, however, it takes self discipline and honestly a lot of practice. I am STILL practicing the art of listening and I assure you I fail AT LEAST once a day. At least! Why? Well, because we are human and it is what it is, but if you are actively working on this skill it will and can come naturally over time. It just takes discipline. It is kind of like a professional athlete. They don’t become an expert in their sport without practice and the same goes with listening. We must practice being quiet and paying attention to others words. Practice eye contact, leaning in, nodding, and smiling without any interruption and when the urge to say, “Ya that happened to me and (fill in the blank)” arises, STOP! Do not do it! Don’t interrupt and try repeating what the other person is saying. By doing this you are showing them you really care about what they have to say and in turn they will feel valued. Isn’t that what we all want after all? To feel valued and loved?
What you will find by really honing in on your listening skills is that your relationships will become stronger. People are so desperate to be understood that we forget to be understanding, but by truly listening and opening our hearts we actually grow and learn. So much growth happens when we not only open our ears, but when we open our minds and our hearts.
Larry King once said, “I remind myself every morning nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I am going to learn I must do so by listening.” Think of all you will learn just by listening and not by talking and think how much better the world will be when everyone is practicing the art of listening. Listening to understand first then to be understood really is simple yet very hard. I believe the more people in this hurting world feel like people really are listening to them they will feel valued and in turn be able to go out and do the same for the next person. The domino effect of truly listening to understand first can and will make this world a more loving place. A place where people start to realize they are worthy and they are loved AND they are heard.
Maybe that is why God gave us two ears and one mouth….something to think about….
Until next time….
XO,
Amy
