Expectation of the Female

Have you ever sat and wondered why females are so hard on themselves? I don’t mean to leave men out because I firmly believe they have a whole other mindset with expectations, but simply put I am a female. So I kind of relate more to the female species, if you know what I mean. So if you are a male and you are reading this, my first gut reaction is, “Forgive me, I don’t mean to leave you out, I just don’t understand your kind.” ~Oddly enough last week my coach had me take the Clifton Strengths Finder test and one of my top 5 strengths is inclusion. So guys, leaving you out is killing me, but maybe you can learn more about the female mind by reading and maybe just maybe it will help you in your relationships with the females in your life.

Back to my topic. Why do females put so many expectations on themselves. I have been wondering this lately because I firmly believe we lose ourselves because of it. Why do I believe this? Well, I LOST MYSELF! And I am finding myself again and it is so amazing, but I don’t think others have to go through the stages of being lost, because trust me it is hard to get out of…..possible, but work, work I have done and I am hoping through my lessons I can save a few of you from the same mistakes I have made.

When we lose ourselves we fall into a rabbit hole. These holes can be in the form of people pleasing, shame, guilt, or I am not enough….. to name a few as I am sure there are MANY MORE! Point is we as women, whether we are parents, single, teens, adults, whatever we are tend to end up in one of these holes.

Why is this? Have you ever been in one of these holes? Hell I have been in all of them at the same time and it is no fun! I am trying to figure out why this happens. What is missing to make this happen?

I think back to childhood and I had a great one! I was born and raised in the small North Texas town of Graham, Texas, now known as Graham, America. When I was growing up, it was a sleepy oil and gas town. It was like what you see in the movies. At least from my memories. BUT, I will say that I was very aware of whose mom worked and whose did not. Whose mom got to play golf all day like mine and whose did not. I was not aware in a negative way either. It just was an awareness. There was never any stigma or anything like that. But, I distinctly remember being in high school and watching my sister become a bad ass business woman. I remember thinking, “Man that is glamorous! I want to be that if I don’t make it onto the set of Days of Our Lives or one of Michael Jackson’s backup dancers!” True story there folks. I remember thinking, “I don’t want to stay home and clean and cook while my husband gets to be a part of the world like my mom and I darn sure don’t want to be a school teacher….I hate school.” You see in Graham, in my small town mind you were either a teacher or a stay at home mom…. and I am not saying my mom did not enjoy it because honestly looking back she had a great life. For her! Was she happy? Was she fulfilled? ? I don’t know, she has passed now so I can’t ask her, but I think so. However, I think it took a while for that to happen and I think there might have been some sadness while she was finding herself and her way. This is just my opinion. I think she had to find her way and her way was serving.

My mom loved to serve. Whether she was teaching kids to golf, cooking for us or some other family, or organizing something for the church, my mom had a servants heart. Would my mom enjoy being a business woman? NO! Money did not matter to her. Things did not matter to her, unless it was a new gold club! Would she have loved to run a non profit? I FIRMLY BELIEVE YES! That was who she was! She was also my mom, Paul’s mom, and Robin and Chuck’s mom, and she did that job amazingly!

Why do I tell you all of this? Because, I am stumped as to why women, including myself who was raised by a strong, loving woman, still get wrapped around the axle with expectations and comparisons! And it starts at such a young age….it starts with the simple, “I want to be part of the popular crowd.” What the hell is that? I hate that damn word! POPULAR!

I looked it up. Popular by definition is suitable to the majority! So if that is the case who is the majority? And why are they the majority? Because they have the bigger house? They have a cool car? They wear expensive clothes? You see what is happening here….comparison….which as we all know is the thief of joy. So this little thief starts at such a young age.

How can we educate our young females early on that there will ALWAYS be someone with a bigger house, a cooler car, a better sense of style, skinnier, prettier skin, better hair, cooler dog, cuter partner, better job, more flexible, stronger, more athletic, better voice, better talent, better grades, better college education, better kids, better life, more money, more fun, more friends, more likes, more followers, more opportunity…..YOU GET THE PICTURE…..SOMEONE WILL ALWAYS HAVE BETTER AND OR MORE! It just will always be this way!

So what do we do about it? Well I am on a mission and I would love for you to join me! My mission is Worthy Heart and the simple fact that everyone is worthy of love. Everyone and every females is enough in their own being. How am I going to do this? Well, it will start here. It will start with the simple mission of teaching women of all ages you have to take care of yourself and love yourself in order to do the same with the humans in your life. How do we do that? We start with the acronym GOO!

GOO

Loving God

Loving Ourselves

Loving Others

We have to know God and have a relationship with God in order to realize how perfect we are, you are, I am. I am a child of God. You are a child of God. We are children of God. Whether you are Christian or not, you are enough and you are loved! We are perfect however we are made. God makes ZERO mistakes! And God loves you and God loves me! Once we truly believe this and start our spiritual journey we will soon start to believe who we are in enough! NO matter who we choose to be and what we choose to do we are enough!!!! Once we grasp this we can love ourselves and then others fully and beautifully in our wonderfully made selves!!!!!

So if you are a female I would love for you to share this. If you know a female raising females I would love for you to share this! If you know a female I would love for you to share this! The more we share this the more movement we will get! And I want to start a movement! Do you want to join me?

Until Next Time,

XO,

AMY

PS….remember YOU ARE ENOUGH! And YOU ARE WORTHY!