The Genesis of a New Year
January 1, 2023…..where do I even begin? So much has happened in my life and my family's life. I am not ready to share yet. I will someday, you know I will. That is just who I am. I am an open book. Right, wrong, or indifferent, that is just me and my belief is by sharing my story, the good, the bad, the super ugly, well, maybe I can be there for someone who feels all alone at 2:22 am. Someone who wakes up and can’t catch their breath while the darkness is crashing in…maybe, just maybe, they can remember Worthy Heart and open up this blog and find hope somewhere….That is my dream. That is my wish. That is my prayer.
If you are new here, WELCOME! If you are one of my faithful followers, HI! I am back and what a day to come back. January 1 where there are so many possibilities ahead for you and for me.
My first question is why does it have to be January 1? Truth is, it does not. We can decide any day of the year, the month, or the week, today is the day. It Just happens, today is the day I will start my new beginning.
I personally decided today was my day because honestly the end of 2022 has been a total nightmare for me and for my family. Today I want to SURRENDER that nightmare to God and really get to know Him and myself in His eyes. After all He did create you and me and we are not mistakes, but if I am being honest with you, sometimes I wonder things like, “What could I have done differently? What could I have done better? Why did God make me this way? Why do I feel or think like this? Why is this happening to me? To my family? Did I do something to cause this?” These are real true thoughts of mine and here is something I hold dear to my heart….
We are all allowed to think, feel, say, and do whatever it is we need.
The secret is if we can tie it back to our Higher Power, which for me is God, then life will become a little less painful, a little easier, and we can see the beauty and goodness life has to offer.
If you know your higher power you can experience goodness even in the darkness. You can experience love even in hate. You can experience joy even in sorrow. You can experience hope even in despair. You know what else, you can even hate those you love and turn away from God and He will still love you. He understands and is compassionate and does not force something on to you in your pain. I truly believe this because these past three months…..well these past three months he has patiently loved me while I have cursed him and cryed out and anguish and it has been horrific, but let’s face it.
Life happens and sometimes it downright sucks!
But even in the midst of this pain I have seen beauty, I have found grace, I have seen blessings. I have seen the face of God and heard from Him. Somedays I really had to look for Him and/or goodness, but I found it and you will too. I promise.
The real question for me and maybe for you too is….
How will I spend my time in 2023
For me I will: Begin healing and learning to love me wholly. All of me. I will begin building the life I want and deserve. I will continue to love my three beautiful boys right where they are and who they are, never insisting on them being someone I need them to be so I can be whole. I will begin to trust that it is all going to be ok, better than ok. I will begin to forgive, but that does not mean I have to forget. I will be grateful even in dark moments. I will find something to be grateful for because there is always something to be grateful for, even if it is just the bird chirping outside my window or the parking space that miraculously opened up. Whatever it is, no matter how little or how small, I will be grateful and I will begin to truly live. Live my life, my beautiful life. Offering the gifts of love and light that I have inside of me. I have so much love and life to give and I will start by giving some of that back to myself and I will continue to add more sparkle in the world and be a light of hope because that is what really brings me joy.
So, 2023 will be just like any other year. There will be challenges, there will be easy moments, and God willing there will be miracles and if you would like to come along on the journey, welcome!
My prayer is that we will do this beautiful thing called life with Grace, Compassion, and Love.
Cheers to 2023 and new beginnings and Cheers to You!
YOU ARE WORTHY!
XO,
Amy
aka Worthy
PS. If you know someone that you feel needs some love, hope, or worthiness, share my blog….I would love to be a beacon of light in someone elses’s darkness…Lord knows I have had many beacons of light in mine….