Finding Hope

Have you ever felt like your family is being attacked? Like truly attacked by the devil. Maybe you are single and it comes in forms of personal attacks on you. Maybe it is with your work and nothing seems to be going right even though you are doing everything you can that is right. Have you ever felt this way?

I know I have, just recently actually. Raising teens is no easy task and I really think the devil likes to mess with parents of teens. No I don't think it..... I am actually convinced of it! But, I can honestly say I know God is fighting for me and I know He has me-Truly has me and I know He has you too.

Last Sunday morning was awful-ever notice how it is on Sunday mornings when that idiot attacks? Just an observation. Anyways, it was a terrible morning and I LITERALLY remember saying to the boys, "EVERYONE is going to church and EVERYONE is going to LOVE it!" Funny thing looking back they were not even pushing back on going to Church, but I just HAD to make sure they knew who was in charge. Silly me! It happens!

Will and JP were sick of me and they left early and it was just Graeme and I driving to church. I literally told him, "G, mom is in a horrible mood! No whining, no complaining, no nothing or else you are grounded! Your brothers have pushed me to my limit!" Poor thing just nodded and asked when daddy was coming home. 

As we were walking up to the church Graeme quietly grabbed my hand and gave it  a squeeze, first sign God was with me. How sweet is that? After I just yelled at him for sitting quietly in the back seat and threatened to ground him-grabs my hand and squeezes? Melt my heart just thinking about it.

Next, it was as if the sea of people parted and out walked Pastor Elizabeth Mosley who a number of people have been telling me to contact about some situations we are working through here in the Berry household. As God as my witness yall I started to cry and she looked me right in the eyes and said "Welcome." I swear I felt like it was Jesus looking at me. Our church is huge and I do not go to the services she attends so she really had no idea at that moment we were members, but she knew I needed her at that moment. She quickly helped me pull myself together and let me know to contact her. Sign number two God had me.

I proceeded into to Church and that day in worship the Holy Spirit was filling me up fiercely! I am not kidding. EVERY song, EVERY word spoke to me like never before. Basically telling me what I knew, but needed to hear for real. God has me! When I am feeling I can't anymore He has me. Let me tell you friends, Sunday, August 26 I was feeling like I couldn't anymore, but I got up, washed my face, went to church, and was filled with nourishment that this world just cannot give. Nourishment for my soul. That worship team was Sign number 3.

I was starting to feel better and then Reverend Matt Tuggel got up and delivered a message that did not fall on deaf ears. He asked the question, "What for me is usual? What is typical about me? Who am I? What would the kids say is typical about me?"

I pondered on that a lot this week. I personally think the usual for me is why even when the devil was attacking my family fiercely this weekend, I still got up, washed my face, and made it to Church. Maybe with my jaw clinched,  a few curse words screamed, and my mind racing, but by God we were there and did you hear the signs I talked about?  I really think that was God saying, "Well done Amy. You are getting it!" He was holding me up by using others and showing me I am not alone even when I feel like my life is unraveling. He was speaking to me in the songs. I swear there was a moment this week when I realized what is typical of me.

My kids see me get up everyone morning and do my quiet time. Some mornings with a joyful heart, some with a heavy heart, some with an exhausted heart, and others just going through the motion. BUT, I am there every morning and I am giving my first 15 to God every day trying desperately to get to know Him more and to be a better version of me. To be the version He wants me to be and the version when people are in front of me see Jesus. That is what I want my typical to be.

I realized that we all have our lives and in our own personal lives we have anything and everything from PTA, meetings, dance classes, taking care of others, school projects, picking up kids for sports, teen issues, health issues, behavior issues, organizing groups, social events, you name it, there is a lot going on.  When we find the time to carve out those 15 precious minutes...miracles happen. Do you know why? Not because you did your 15 and you got your check in the block, but because when you do your 15 you grow closer to our Heavenly Father so you can see Him, feel Him, and find Him in the moments you need Him most. Doing 15 minutes a day forms a relationship. A relationship that is real. You don't call your friend only when you need something and it is the same by doing your first 15. I don't ask God for something everyday. Some days I read my devotional, think on it, talk about it with God and that is it. It is not always a conversation of need and that my friends is how I am getting to know Him. If I am being 100 percent honest I have gone to God in my first 15 minutes and literally said these words, "Dude, I got nothing today. I am blank, I am exhausted, hell I don't know what to ask for, so here I am." I then just sit there in the silence and I think God is o.k. with this.  You know why I think that? Because if I called my girlfriend down the street and said, "Tram, I am so exhausted and sick of the world I just want to sit! I got nothing to say." You know what she would say? "Want a glass of wine while we sit?" Ha! True story, but we would just sit! That is a relationship and that is what God wants!

I want that too for you my friends. I want you to find what I find in this quiet space with God. I find hope-a hope I never seem to find in the external world. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring or even what the afternoon will bring, but when I go and retreat for 15 minutes in this holy space, I know I have hope. A hope so that on days when I feel like I just can't go on-like last Sunday-I do! I do go on because my father in Heaven is cheering for me and sending me all kinds of signs and whispering, "You got this Amy." 

So let me ask you-What would people say is typical of you? What do you do when you are losing hope? Might I suggest you implement your first 15? Try it for a week. Let yourself get up and spend 15 minutes in a quiet Holy Space-alone with God-and watch what happens in your life. I would love to hear because I know it will be beautiful!

Until next time.

XO,

Amy

The One Year Book of Hope (One Year Books)

By Nancy Guthrie

Need a little help getting started on your first 15? This book has been a God send for me! Every day there is a devotional to help me along. Some days I need it and other days I think I don't, I dive in, and guess what, it speaks to me! Get it and see for yourself!