Letter to Barbara
Dear Mrs. Bush,
When I heard the news you had declined medical intervention I really did not know that much about you. I knew the basics. I knew you were the First Lady and I knew one of your sons had been President, which those two facts alone make you something big in my book. You were a wife and a mom, just like me; and as far as I am and was concerned when I was listening to the news that is pretty big, maybe bigger than being the first lady and the mother of one of our Presidents. Our jobs as moms and wives are big and you set an example that I want to follow the rest of the days of my life.
As the end of your life was progressing I learned so much more and then you died and I was glued to the T.V., glued to N.P.R., which any of my friends reading this letter would tell you that is not normal. I like my music! But you Mrs. Bush have me wanting to hear more and more about you. You were an amazing lady who got it! You got the meaning of life and you were so classy! Gosh I wish I had known you personally! What I could have learned!
I am not really sure why I am writing you this letter; we all know it won't reach you in heaven, but maybe by writing this letter, I can engrain the many, many, lessons you have left behind into my pea brain and be a better person. A better wife. A better mom. A better friend. If that happens- then hey this letter was worth it!
Your strength and faith was amazing. I honestly had no clue you lost a child to leukemia. I use to do a lot of fundraising for Leukemia Society and it is an organization that is very near and dear to my heart. Not because I lost a child to leukemia, because I have not and God willing I will not. I actually think it is a crime for a parent to lose a child. It goes against the order of life. Your grandparents die, then your parents, then your older siblings, then you, THEN your child. Not your child first! That is not fair. Yet, you never looked at it as unfair. Sure, when Robin got the diagnosis you tried everything, any parent would, but when she died, you did not shrivel up. If anything you made her death a beautiful story. You shared how she was still a joy not a sadness. You shared how she was your angel and how no you can't hold her, but you can feel her. That story right there changed my entire perspective on my lost baby. I no longer want to wallow in what could have been, but I will stand firm in knowing I have an angel that I cannot hold, but yes I can feel. And when the day comes for me to meet that baby in heaven I just know my reunion will be just as joyous as the reunion between you and Robin and the other baby you lost. I wonder if that baby was a boy or girl. I wish you could tell us, but I know that reunion was just as amazing! If you get some time will you go give my baby a hug for me? Mom to Mom?
Barbara, your humor, I had no idea you had such a sense of humor. and the way used it was amazing to me! I really think it helped to break the ice or make the playing ground even. You never wanted people to look at you as royalty or someone big, you wanted people to look at you as Barbara. I just love that. What a beautiful gift; the gift of humor to make people feel worthy, loved, and normal. The joke you made about your famous pearls back in 2015 just had me in stitches and the fact that you told the doctor in your last days that your son was the way he is was because you drank and smoked with him in utero, well, do you know what that joke did for a lot of moms? That joke let a lot of moms off the hook. If you are a mom- you know what I am talking about.
Your commitment to your husband was one beautiful love story! 73 years! Wow, if Trey and I get 73 years together on this earth, I hope and pray it is half as beautiful as your love story was to George. The simple act of you two holding hands until the end, again, thank you! I will now hold my Trey's hand more often. Such a simple act with so much emotion. Holding hands says: I love you, I got you, you are ok, I am not leaving, hold on tighter, and the list of emotions goes on and on. Medically it has been proven to decrease blood pressure and heart rates and puts people in a more relaxed state. You two did this often and you did it until the end. What we all can learn from this act alone in your marriage; hold hands with your spouse and hold hands often.
It is said you were the enforcer in your family. You were straight forward with your kids! They knew right from wrong, they knew you loved them, but that you expected them to live a life of purpose and meaning, genuine and authentic. I love that all your kids knew the basics: Sit up, do your homework, say please and thank you, eat your vegetables, don't whine or complain, look people in the eye, be kind, treat others how you want to be treated, always tell the truth, don't put others down, serve others, and most importantly love God with all your heart. Wow! How lucky your kids were to have you! That my new found friend is everything I want to teach my kids! Thank you for being such an example. All these lessons no matter how little or big- become habits if you are there every day enforcing them. You were and I will be too! I know there will be difficult times and I know that as long as I am strong and firm in my beliefs like you were and remembering that sometimes these boys will need tough love or as you put it "benevolent dictatorship"! Ha! I love that! I am stealing that line! I hope that is ok? Because I assure you my boys will not look at it as benevolent most of the time, but we moms know what is best and sometimes tough love is it. The ability to strike fear into a child when they are acting out, but let them know they are loved at the same time is a gift. I would say Barbara, you had this gift. Look at your legacy! Beautiful! Well done my friend! Well done!
So as I wrap up my letter to you Barbara, I now know why I wrote it. I wrote this letter to say thank you! Thank you for being you! Thank you for all the lessons I have learned this past week and will continue to learn, because you better believe I will be stalking you! You have taught me so much since your death and I will forever be grateful. You have taught me how to be a better human, wife, and mom. You have showed me what it looks like to be the Rock of the family, the enforcer of the family, the heart of the family. You have taught me not to take myself to seriously and that my humor is a joyous gift. You have shown me an amazing love story, one I plan to emulate all the days of my life with my Trey and you have shown me how death is not scary because our God is beautiful and he is real. Thank you Mrs. Barbara Bush and may you rest in peace as I know from the little bit I have learned about you, It is well with your Soul.
Your friend in Christ,
Amy
P.S. Not really sure how it works in heaven, but if you by chance see or can find my mom, will you tell her I am o.k. and I love and miss her dearly. Thanks! Xo, Amy
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