People Pleaser Extraordinaire.
That was me.
In fact, if you had looked up people pleaser a few years ago, you might as well have seen my name next to the definition.
Always helpful.
Always available.
Always saying yes—even when my body, my heart, and my soul were quietly screaming no.
Google says a people pleaser is one of the nicest and most helpful people you know.
I call a little bullsh*t on that.
Because what it doesn’t say is this:
People pleasers are often exhausted.
Overextended.
Quietly resentful.
And terrified that if they stop giving, fixing, or accommodating… they’ll stop being loved.
That was me.
I didn’t know how to say no.
I thought being needed was the same thing as being valued.
I believed that love was something you earned by being useful.
And when you live that way long enough, something happens.
You lose yourself.
Your nervous system stays on high alert.
Your body keeps score.
Your joy gets smaller.
Your peace disappears.
I started this journey back in 2016—when a doctor looked me straight in the eye and said,
“Amy, you have got to start taking care of you.”
That moment woke me up.
And here’s the honest truth I want you to hear, especially heading into Valentine’s week:
I’m still learning this.
Years later.
Older.
Wiser.
More aware.
Still learning.
Because people pleasing doesn’t just disappear—it shows up in new forms.
In friendships.
In marriage.
In boundaries that feel uncomfortable to hold.
In moments where choosing myself still feels selfish… even when it isn’t.
But here’s what I do know now:
Saying no doesn’t make you unloving.
Resting doesn’t make you lazy.
Choosing yourself doesn’t make you difficult.
And being needed is not the same thing as being loved.
This Valentine’s Day, I want to offer you something different.
Not roses.
Not chocolate.
Not approval.
But permission.
Permission to stop proving your worth.
Permission to take up space.
Permission to love yourself the way you keep loving everyone else.
Because here’s the truth I’m still practicing—and inviting you into:
You matter.
Your needs matter.
Your energy matters.
And love that costs you yourself is not love—it’s survival.
If you’re tired…
If you’re stretched thin…
If you recognize yourself in this story…
You’re not broken.
You’re waking up.
And that’s where the Good Life actually begins.
With self-love.
With boundaries.
With the courage to believe you are already enough.
Happy Valentine’s Day, sweet girl.
Choose you this week. 💗
XO,
Worthy
(Amy)
